The things you learn when you have no "wifi" - Part 1

It’s been a long time since I have travelled in a country without ‘wifi’ or navigation at my fingertips. I remember the good old days when you had to read a map made from paper and follow the road signs. While there are some countries where it is almost impossible to NOT get lost, in New Zealand this is not the case.  However, I learned a lot when travelling ‘unplugged’ of sorts, on a recent trip. You realise how reliant we become on the ability to instantaneously access whatever we want, whenever we want, when suddenly, ‘wifi’ is not available. We rely on it for navigation, music, booking accommodation, finding petrol and food stops, weather, booking attractions and general communication. 

 

Mostly I found it very freeing to hit the road with my favourite downloaded playlist (some people don’t even have that), pen and paper, my camera charged and food and drink in my fridge. But I also learned/re-learned a lot. 

 

I have learned that you need to do your homework beforehand. It is important to be prepared and have a general idea of where you are heading and what you want to see along the way. It is helpful to have some sort of paper(tangible) map. You need to have an idea of how long it is going to take and then in NZ add another hour onto that as traveling around the mountains always takes longer than they say it will. I learned that the hard way. It is important to read the road signs well, as they are your main guide to getting to your destination. It helps to be more focused on what you are looking at along the way. 

 

It is important to always be aware of your petrol levels because you never know when next you can stop to fill up. The great thing about being in a self-contained van is that food or drink is never a problem. I could stop anywhere along the side of the road and fill my tummy or quench my thirst, even rest and sleep If I wanted to. But I can imagine if you are just on the journey in a car, watching all these levels would be important as well. 

 

I never quite knew how far I had to go at times, or where I was going to stop. Sometimes that was a little disconcerting, but most times it is very freeing. In fact, with my camera and beautiful scenery I lost track of time all together most days, and so I learned the hard way to watch my time and what I can fit into a day.  It is good to know when the sun sets and rises each day, so you have a general idea of the boundaries of good travelling hours. Of course, you need wifi for this, so at some point you need to find FREE wifi to access this information, beforehand. 

 

I think the thing I found most freeing was the lack of distraction from the world. There were no ‘pings’ and notifications telling you of all the things that were are going on in the world.  My phone became a second memory catcher and a music player.  It is a wonderful day when you can get lost in nature, with a song in your heart and a camera in hand. 

 

It may all sound simple, until you run out of petrol or your van breaks down. Or when you hurt yourself on a walk in the middle of nowhere, you have no food, water or ‘wifi’ to call for help. It wouldn’t be long till you’re in the dark, all alone and suddenly this freedom adventure is not so fun anymore. In order for that to not happen you need to …

 

·      Be prepared

·      Know where you are heading

·      Watch carefully for the signs

·      Be mindful of your energy/fuel levels

·      Know your safety boundaries 

·      Connect with the right people when you can. 

 

Not a bad way to live each day. We are all on a journey, and we must take some responsibility for where we land each day. 

 

It is said that early in Jesus’ life, he grew 

“In wisdom and stature and favour with God and man” – Luke 2:52. 

I have always loved this balanced and wholistic way of life that Jesus modelled. He valued wisdom, he cared for himself physically, he knew who to listen to and who to turn to. He set him up for every trial and challenge he had in front of him. He didn’t complain or blame others when the challenges hit, he was prepared, mindful, purposeful and surrounded himself with the right people. 

 

 It is so easy to blame others when the wheels fall off life, when you hit a pothole, get lost or suddenly find yourself in a place you hadn’t planned to be. We can sit and cry out “why me”, or “it is not fair,” or just get plain angry. If we are not willing to be prepared, know where we’re heading, watch carefully for the signs, be mindful of energy levels, be safe and connect with the right voices, then to expect the journey and all the good things that come with it to just fall in your lap is not realistic. I am thankful for the life skills and problem solving and courage that ‘travel’ and trying new things has taught me. I think it has made me a stronger person.  Choosing not to have “wifi” on this trip, helped me engage in a whole lot of skills I forgot I had. I know I have the skills to get me out of most situations, but we only know that if it is tested, or we are willing to step out and give things a go ourselves. It helped that I knew my purpose and end game, I was prepared and was very mindful of my strength and boundaries.  

 

What adventure or risk have you taken lately?  When is the last time you tested and stretched yourself, to see where it could take you? Or importantly, what are you missing out on because you’re not willing to disconnect from the safe ‘online’ world and see what the real world wants to teach you?

 

A turn

David in the Bible, will always be known as a shepherd and a king and man after God’s own heart.  What a glorious legacy to be known for. 

 

“Yet there was a time when David did not examine what was in his own heart, he did not examine his own fears of being loved enough, did not examine his fears of not being wanted enough, instead David examined what was outside his own window. Examined who was out bathing next door. When we only examine the ways of everyone around us instead of examining the ways of what is actually within us we can expect our hearts to eventually go wayward. If we don’t examine the ways our hearts turn, it is our very light that ends up not turning out well. David turned away from his responsibilities and draw closer to what he thought would satisfy him, comfort him, fulfill him. By living an unexamined life this is what ends up exploding David’s life”.  (Ann VosKamp) 

 

I have been captured by the haunting words of Ann VosKamp:

 

“Every time we turn from something, we turn to something”

 

How simple is a “turn”? Whether it is a 1 degree turn or a 90 degree turn it is still a ‘turn’. Often it is in the small turns that we suddenly find ourselves in a place we never expected. A slight turn in another direction, then another slight turn and then another. It’s a scary thought and yet we have all found ourselves in this situation.  And then we think we can no longer turn back so we carry on a path that we never wanted to be on. It only takes one bite, one look, one word, one thought, one action, one agreement, one lie, one moment. And then another and another. I have caught myself so many times, wondering how did I get here? How did my life come to this? This is not who I want to be?  

 

Repentance is not a word we like to speak about, but it means simply “to turn”. Easter is a key time to retell the story. It is a story we must continue to retell. As we have just come through this time we see the many ways the disciples turned from him, we see his enemies turn and hurt Him, we see the religious people and the crowd turn on him, all the while Jesus continued to turn toward His father. At every step He had a choice to turn away, to take another path, but He choose to turn toward the cross. He turned towards death that we might have life, grace, forgiveness and freedom from our own wrong turns. The story of Easter, shows us that there is no habit, no lie, no words, no actions, no agreement, no bad choice, no wrong path, no sin too far that we cannot not turn back to Him. 

 

David writes in Psalm 32: 3-5 (MSG)

 

“When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans. The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up. Then I let it all out; I said “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God”. Suddenly the pressure was gone – my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared”

 

 

I am thankful for the men and woman in the Bible that share their pain and struggles so openly to show we are not alone in our failings to be who we long to be. David was not perfect, and his legacy remains because he knew that it was never too late to turn to God. Like David, we are only one turn away from freedom and love. I am reminded that no matter how far I turn from Him and who He made me to be, I only feel love and joy from Jesus whenever I turn toward Him. I pray there would more turning to and less turning from the love and freedom that Christ can bring this hurting, messed up world. 

 

 

 

 

Don't 'fail' to learn

I went to watch the sunset this morning to put into practice the new things I am learning about taking a photograph in manual mode. Up to this point all my photos have been in automatic and I was enjoying that process, it was working. For me to look through the lens, enjoy what I see and frame it right has given me so much pleasure. It allowed me to adventure and discover so many new things. I knew it had its limits, but what I was experiencing in those limits was still enjoyable.

 

This year I have decided to try to stretch myself, go out of my comfort zone and try to learn to shoot in the manual mode. So many had been telling me it allows you to do so much more. I believe it, I just can’t understand it … yet.   So, I have been doing a course online and today it was time to give it a go. 

 

It was a beautiful morning; calm, picturesque, a serene sunrise, the harbour was sparkling, and for August it wasn’t even cold.  I set myself up and began to try to take a picture with all my new information.   Nothing worked, nothing made sense, all I had learned had disappeared and the camera would not do anything I asked it to. Most times it wouldn’t even take a photo at all, and I know it was because I had no idea what I was doing.  It was not an enjoyable experience. I even tried to slip back into automatic and try to capture something, but even that didn’t work the same, nothing seemed to work. 

 

I packed up and headed to the car, feeling very sad and frustrated.  People saw my camera gear and spoke to me repeatedly as they walked past, saying, “What a beautiful morning, did you get some good shots?” I had no confidant answer for them and as I pondered, I realized I didn’t even see how beautiful it was this morning. I missed the whole sunrise.  What would normally have been a lifegiving and joyous experience just left me feeling empty and dejected. I got into my car and just cried. I felt panic and a lack of confidence and I wanted to give up. This was all too hard. 

 

Now I know that my tears were not just about missing the sunrise, or not being able to make my camera work. I know this experience triggered a deeper pain of being completely out of my comfort zone and having to try something completely new, when all I really want to do is to go back to the way it was.  It triggered fear, shortness of breath, pain, loss, sadness about my current reality. You know that change, when you are going along in automatic, life is good, life is great and then suddenly, all the rules are changed, and you have no idea how to function in a new mode. For so many the rules are changing daily even, and we are all trying to simply function, and nothing makes sense anymore. You just sit and want to go back to that way it was or give up because it is all too hard.

 

These past 2 years has been this way for so many people, on so many levels. On a world scale, we are all struggling with the challenge of change and new rules and guidelines being thrust upon us. You name it, it has happened. There is no easy way to navigate what seems to many of us something that we can’t see the end of. And yet like many, for me, COVID has not even been my greatest and most challenging change. 

 

So, I ask myself, why I am doing this to myself right now, changing up one of the few things that has been my lifeline in these difficult times? Should I just go back to ‘auto’ photography and give up learning something new?  The easy answer is yes, but in my world right now where so much is out of my control, maybe it is one thing I can change, renew, improve, strengthen. The one place where at least I have the control to choose to give something new and scary a go. A place where my bruised and battered confidence may have a chance to beginning re-sorting itself, preparing me to feel that I can face the bigger challenges of life that will really matter. A little step that will help move me from feeling “paralysed” and “hopeless” to be able to breathe again and step into a new world with renewed “hope”. 

 

Randomly I received a message the night before from someone who doesn’t really know me. I thought it was strange when I read it that night, but as I re-read it this morning I wonder if God knew I would need it this morning: 

 

“God has amazing things in your future, Things you’ve never imagined but to get there you’re going to have defeat some big giants, overcome some big obstacles, outlast some strong opposition. Why this is happening you do not know, but you must stay strong and show the opposition that you’re more determined than they are. God didn’t bring you this far to leave you. The problem is not there to stop you. It’s there to prepare you. This challenge will not defeat you.”

 

I must believe that if I can push through this difficult, unknown, clueless time of not knowing how to take a photo in manual mode, then in the end a new and exciting world of possibilities can be open to me. Even though I can’t see how this is possible yet, I choose to believe it is.  But greater than that I choose to believe this for life, my every day, for my family, for those I walk with and for the world. 

 

You can’t see it yet, your messed up HSC, your lost job, your broken family, your shattered dreams, your wavering health, your lonely and rejected heart, your painful loss that makes no sense … it’s not easy. What is one thing you can do today to simply build hope and life into this day? What is one thing you can do today that is new, stretching, one thing that helps you not give up today?  Sometimes it is all I have, and it is enough for today. 

 

Today, I missed the sunrise, I didn’t get the shot, I messed up, fell apart, and cried. But I got up, I got dressed, I drove to the beach, I gave it a go, I acknowledged the pain, and I have chosen to not give up, I am not defeated, and I will try again. And it is still only 8:30am. It is a good day to NOT ‘fail to learn’.

The photo I took in desperation in "Auto" mode 

(PS. I wrote this 4 weeks ago and still haven't picked up the camera again, 

I have a long way to go yet)