COVID - An iceberg of titanic proportions

The Titanic movie was an epic movie. Many would know and smile at the mention of the movie, a tale of a mega ship created to change the world at the time it was built.  A huge ship with all different layers and classes of travel, something for everyone, who were off for an amazing journey. The story begins to get interesting when two passengers have the gumption to cross classes and connect together. And then all hell breaks loose when the ship, which was supposed to be unsinkable, hits an iceberg and over time the damage is enough to send the whole thing crashing to the bottom of the sea. While I love the drama, adventure and romance of the movie, I remember a scene of a violin quartet standing on the deck of the ship continuing to play as the ship went down. Was it denial, was it acceptance, was it simply the English stiff upper lip, proudly going down with the ship, doing what they have always done?  

 

In a throw away conversation with a colleague we joked about how hard it is to “turn the ship” when it comes to thinking about doing church life across the ages. After what feels like 15 years of exploring life in community together, across the ages, I am still shocked when I find myself in a conversation with people who are still asking how it is even possible to grow, serve, learn and worship across the ages. The ship is simply not turning and it made me think about the “Titanic”.

 

The many decks, the many classes, all keeping separate and not mixing. The fact that the titanic was sinking and most people had no idea until it was too late. The rush to the life rafts to discover there wasn’t enough of them, because no one truly believed that the Titanic was ever able to sink.  The ship was designed for comfort and style and order and class, not practicalities. This mega ship was unstoppable, it was going to be honoured and adored by the world as the world’s largest ship. After all, biggest is best.

 

It feels like for centuries we have been building the unstoppable, unsinkable mega Church. One that has many rooms, many activities, many segregations, many specializations, all to keep everyone occupied in their own way. The captain is very removed from the people and all with the desire to get as many people saved and to the other side of this world to eternity. Like the ‘Titanic’, the institutional church was built all with the best of intentions and yet seems to be missing the real practicalities and purpose of community and life together.  And once it started sinking, the panic of personal survival meant that community and care for each other seemed to be thrown overboard. 

 

My colleague said, “maybe we need to strategically place some icebergs” in order for people to re-think. I can’t imagine any more of an iceberg than COVID-19 on the world stage. Yet it seems as if the church is like the quartet of violinists standing on the deck and playing their music (with masks on of course) as if all will be ok if we just keep doing what we have always done. 

 

On the Titanic, as the ship was sinking, the life rafts were only small and only a few people could get on each. There wasn’t enough and many people drowned as a result. This is a very interesting visual. Just to state, I am not about sinking ships or churches for that matter, but I do believe in the ‘life raft’. I do believe the ‘life raft’ is the kind of community Jesus built and He wanted us to build thousands of them. I do live in such a ‘life raft’ community. It is rich, strong, life-giving, safe and yet vulnerable, exposing and real. Sometimes we really feel like we are tackling a large sea in a little raft, holding on for dear life. But this is when faith, what you believe, and knowing who will be stay with you through the good and bad, really reveals itself.  

 

COVID continues to rock us all, it has sunk many and most are wandering around the sea in big empty ships feeling like what next? The ‘life raft’ is as real now as it has ever been. True, real community in small spaces, where everyone knows each other, love and accepts each other. A place where age, culture and class is irrelevant, but faith is necessary. Wow, that sounds like the early Church to me. I challenge you to take a risk and jump into a ‘life raft’ and experience transformational life.  In 2022, is there any more to lose?

 

 

 

 

It Starts in the Heart

I have had the privilege of spending time with some faith communities around Australia. I spent 4 days across 2 churches in South Australia. I didn’t realise at the time, but God knew. On the outside they couldn’t have been two more different church communities. One that met in the middle-class suburbs with members who are all either doctors, lawyers or training to be. The other was based right in the inner city with a main mission to helping and serving the homeless. One that met in a traditional church building with comfortable chairs, life groups, children’s and young adults ministry and good audio-visual. The other met in the park, bring your own camp chair and share a piece of paper with some words on it. Some of this community would have spent the morning feeding the homeless, offering showers, toilets and laundry. They had been a part of the South Australian fringe festival with the arts … sharing their gifts and being a light in the mainstream community as the fringe festival is going on all over the city.  

If you were to draw conclusions based on what you see on the outside, I can guarantee what you assume would be wrong. There may be one of those communities I just described that you may feel more comfortable in, but we must not judge and assume the heart of each person and space. 

It would be a bit like going to a wedding ceremony. Everyone looks their best, there is a certain amount of ceremony that is required for a wedding service to be complete. Some can look formal, some Informal. But there is a joining together, a commitment to each other, words spoken out by some or all, a certain amount of sitting and listening and sharing. 

But if all you thought ‘marriage’ was about was a ceremony, I can guarantee it would not last or be very healthy. No, it is in the ‘day in and day out’ that you see the heart, what really makes a community. It is in the way we love each other outside of the public ceremony that really counts. 

Love starts in the heart, but then life must overflow out of that. Life starts in the heart, but then life must overflow out of that. Faith and community starts in the heart and then life must overflow out of that. It goes beyond what the outside structure looks like.

So, when you get the privilege to sit with people in both of these faith communities you see a heart, where life overflows out of love for each other and for God and for those who do not know Him yet. 

From one lady, who, when things closed down from COVID, said, “That is not right, those on the streets need love now more than ever.  You can’t stop me. I will put a chair and table on the street and be there to pray for those who need it.”  So she did. She had no idea how and what was going to happen but for 8 months while COVID shut down the city and many ministries, she sat in the laneway of the inner city and took prayer requests and prayed for people. She said in all that time, she never heard a bad word or a rebuke toward her, but rather many homeless people said, “This is what the church should be doing”. Others fell to their knees and wanted to pray with her right there and then. 

To the young man in his 20s, who shared about how he would not be who he is today without this family of God. When he described church camp, a special event when they get together, he said, “It is the closest thing we get to heaven. Everything is so purposed towards God. You give yourself a 2-3 day window to see what humanity is capable of. To bond together and to actually build that community and be a representation of what God intended."

To the 60+ lady who couldn’t help share her passion about all age worshipping together. She said, “It is about focusing on the Lord. Age shouldn’t matter, if we focus on God we should be able to work through all the generations.” 

“The Lord your God will change your heart and the hearts of all your descendants, so that you will love him with all your heart and soul and so you may live.” Deut 30:6 (NLT)

To a 50+ single woman. What bubbled out of her when asked about her favourite memory of life together, was, “Curry nights, (she says with a warm tone), everyone mucks around, eats together and talks. It feels like family, fun. Feels like there is a lot of joy. It feels like we use the church space differently. Worshipping in just being ourselves. There’s often some creativity. All are welcome.”

These were people whose love starts in the heart and then life overflows out of that. So maybe it doesn’t matter what the ceremony looks like. 

“And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh”. (Ez 11:19 ESV)

I do believe that there are things we can do to help create environments to see generations do life together, but the key for me was that each person I spoke to wanted to see that more and more.  

In my last conversations with the pastors and leaders of both these churches they said, “Please tell us what are some key things we can do to connect the generations more”. With hearts like that, God can do anything, change is possible and connections across the ages will happen and will make a difference in everyone’s heart. 

You can't handle the truth

There is a movie that is still a favourite of mine called “A few good men”. It stars Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise and Demi Moore. 

 

Jack Nicholson plays a colonel in the US Army who carries lies and half-truths with him because he truly believes that nobody really wants to hear the truth. He is finally put on a stand in court to testify and you can see that he doesn’t see anything wrong with his behaviour. When he is questioned and challenged, he defiantly says, “you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall”. His statement is saying, you need me to lie and tell half-truths because I am protecting you, I am doing this for your own good. It is amazing how much we as humans so quickly come to believe our own lies as a sort of new “truth”.  

 

It is a very powerful scene in the movie. When Tom Cruise’s character challenges him to tell the truth, he finally breaks and says, “You can’t handle the truth”. You know he wants to say it, the lies and half-truths. They have been eating at him for a long time. So much so that he no longer knows what’s right and wrong anymore. It all got mixed up in the job he believes he was asked to perform. He believes to protect the American people he had no choice but to hide the truth and fall into too more and more lies. Until murder and deception had become so common that he believed it was all a part of his job. The sad thing was that the lies had him so backed into a corner that he ended up hurting those he most sought to protect and train.

 

I remember spending time learning how to mimic Jack Nicholson’s characterful as he said these words – “You can’t handle the truth”. I would find opportune times to quote it in my life to those around me, mostly to get laughs but often to break the tension of a tough situation where the real truth may have hurt. 

 

We applauded the movie and the great dialogue and the characters. We mocked and laughed at his character being so full of himself and super confident. But if we are honest, we know that deep down, there are some truths that we don’t want to ever tell for fear they will hurt, destroy, reveal and things will never be the same. And like “Col. Nathan R Jessup” (Jack Nicholson’s Character in the movie) we find ourselves dancing around half-truths and lies that back us into corners sometimes we don’t know how to get out of.

 

The hidden affairs of the heart, the things we do with our time behind closed doors, the half -truths we hide from our loved ones in order to not face conflict, the stories we embellish to make sure it all looks good on the surface. Richard Rohr would say this is the “false self” we so desperately want the world to see. We are all guilty of it. I wonder if that is why it is so hard to believe in a God who knows all and sees all. This is so scary to consider; believing in a God who you cannot fool or hide from. 

 

"Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden."  (Genesis 3:8 NIV)

 

From the beginning of time, we have tried to hide our half-truths. But I really do believe there is more danger in living in a “hiding the truth” stance, for fear of hurting someone. As painful as it is, I believe the truth can truly set us free. 

 

My children are moving into adulthood and at the age of considering deep relationships with possible life partners. If I only had one thing that I could tell my kids about relationships, it would be to “tell the truth, no matter how scary or even hurtful”. It is only in the ‘truth’ that you can truly love and live fully real lives. ‘Truth’ will bring as much joy and freedom as it will pain and challenge, you just can’t have one without the other.

 

We live in a world of half-truths and coverups, a lot of suspicion and disbelief. It is hard to know the truth and it seems that you are free to make your own truth. It is a confusing world. God’s truth is disputed and twisted all the time. Here in lies the deception. The enemy has had this plan all along, since in the beginning in the garden. 

 

It is a sobering thought, but we must decide how we will live. Do you want to be a person of truth? Then start with the relationships that means the most to you.  The ones you can’t bear to lose.  Choose a foundation of truth, honesty and openness. Let them see the real you, warts and all, and trust that true love will get you through whatever painful truth will reveal. If it doesn’t get you through, then it is still better than living with the “you can’t handle the truth” life that will never last or lead to anything real. 

 

God says “I know you; I have called you, I have loved you, I forgive you, I have died for you and all your half-truths you have tried to hide from the world.” It doesn’t get more truthful than that. 

 

Will we surrender to him and to each other? Test and see, the truth will truly set you free. 

No room in the INN

The last two months of 2018, in our house felt a little like "there was no room in the Inn". “Air BnB Tolman”, were the words that were floating around, with a laugh. The week leading up to Christmas it was a "full house", with 12 people sleeping over Christmas night and 16 for Xmas dinner. Which doesn’t sound like a lot, but that was all last minute. Maybe we should have been called "last minute.com" rather than "Air BnB Tolman".

There is a difference between being invited and people landing unexpectedly. Of course, we had ample sufficiency, and plenty left over. It was not about the food, just the fullness of the house, which usually I love, but this time it was beyond my control and that is always a little challenging.  When you have to start making a roster to use the kitchen just to get things made for Christmas day it gets a bit hectic. Then when you do get a chance to cook, opening the fridge to find the things you’d bought for Christmas dinner had been eaten or taken without you knowing, can bring the worst thoughts out of you and I must say even a few choice words. 

With that many adults living in the house, the kitchen is always full of dirty dishes and I can’t seem to find things as people always put them in different places to me. On the positive side there are more people to clean, cook and there is someone always offering to make me a cup of tea. Netflix is constantly going, but not always what I want to watch.  Quiet time is hard to find, but I have my office to escape to when I get desperate. Oh, that’s right, there was someone staying in there as well over Christmas. Doh.

There was just no more room in the INN.

As I reflect on Christmas just gone, I feel I start the beginning of the New Year apologising and having to eat my own words. On Christmas Eve, I led our community in the reminder that in all the busyness of Christmas day we must remember that Christ is central. Yet the very next day I found myself feeling not only that I was simply surviving Christmas, but more than that, the worldly celebrations of eating, partying, drinking, presents and people crowded out “Jesus” so that He hardly came into my thoughts. 

How did you do it Jesus?  You came into the world, in a crowded, partying town, where the Inn was full. The world around barely stopped to notice that you were there, but still you came. You didn’t demand, you didn’t make a fuss, you simply came to serve. 

Lord, I want to be that kind of light in this world, in my home, in my community. But I find, when the going gets tough I simply want to hide in my room and hope it all goes away. I thank you that your birth was an example of how you planned to live and how you desire us to live. We are called to live in community, to open our lives and houses to those who need it and sometimes it will be uncomfortable and feel crowded.  You gave us a picture of the way the Church is meant to look ... The saviour of the world, the one to bring unconditional love, surrounded by smelly animals, lowly shepherds, two humble parents not sure what is really happening in a town that hardly knows or cares that you exist. 

Not that the people in my house are smelly animals ... well we won’t go there ... ha ... just kidding, but like any community, being uncomfortable, things not going to plan, and not always being able to find what you are looking for, is all a part of the territory. Help me to face the challenges with love and grace and not run and hide. Sometimes my hiding is even behind the serving or the smile and that is not good enough either. But also, thank you for the reminder that even in a lowly manger, in the shed behind the Inn, with the world passing you by, you still shone, and that’s all you ask me to do as well. 

Bring on 2019. Whatever challenges it brings, help me to make sure Jesus is always at the centre, no matter what is going on around me.

PS: This has been published with the permission of those living in my house at the time.

The air that I breath….when running on empty

I wake up on the eve of a really big weekend that I know I’m am not ready for, a marriage retreat I am  co-leading and I am not as ready as I would like to be and am feeling like "Who am I to be leading this ?" ……..

But the day begins......

My morning view......thank you Lord.

My husband is stressed about some big decisions and jobs hanging over his head today…so I comfort him and encourage him, kiss him and say I believe in him.

My son is wondering around the house stressed because he has lost his car keys and he is late for work  …….I am feeling cold, only in my pjs, no shoes on the cold floor, I have just walked into the lounge and I drop what I was doing and wander around looking for his keys……I find the keys hidden in some clothes in the corner of the room…..he grabs them, says thanks and leaves.

I wake my daughter….who opens one eye and says  “ I don't want to do this monologue at school, I am not ready” ..I sympathise with her ….knowing exactly how she feels, because of the weekend ahead…..knowing that I am partly not ready, because it was her 17th birthday yesterday and the whole day was spent with her (my desire and choice of course) and the house still is left with the aftermath of the party we had last night for her……but I know this moment is about her……so I hold in my own thoughts and say “I know it is tough, but up you get and lets get you ready, I know you will do your best…..thats all you need to do”.   

I kiss my husband as he leaves out the door….thats two gone. 

My smelly dog follows me around, wanting breakfast. She is smelly because she is way overdue for a bath, but I haven't had time to do that lately, and lets be honest if I don’t, no one will. 

My daughter calls out, because she needs an assignment to be printed out on the computer and it is not working. SO, I drop what I am doing again and go and fix that ……okay fixed……..I get her lunch ready ….and then drop her off to school with all her props for her presentation for the day……I just grabbed my shoes and put them on….my hair is wet and a mess, I am not dressed probably, but that is okay I am just dropping her off. 

We get to school and she has no one to help and there is so much for her to carry. So I get out, grab some stuff and help her.  I look a mess as I run into the main school office….but who cares……I kiss her goodbye and tell her she will be wonderful. 

Thats three gone……..I begin to drive home…..my car is on “empty”, I know I will get home…….just….It is 8:32am, I am running on empty already and the day has only just begun. 

I walk in the door, to find the dog sitting, waiting for me …….patiently sitting…..waiting…….I feed her and put the jug on for a cup of tea, that will be nice to start my day…….I receive a text from the RTA….your car’s rego runs out in 2 days ……just a friendly reminder……

Great…..I am supposed to leave sometime today in my car, full of gear to lead a two day marriage  retreat, upon which when I leave on the Sunday at the end of the retreat….my car will be out of rego and I will not be able to legally drive it home.

I sit in silence….with my cup of tea……in a messy house, with messy hair, running on empty and just BREATHE. 

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD………..

……..and everything is alright….I know it will be. I love my life, my family, the opportunities to serve. This is the life of a mum, a wife, a person of faith. It is what we do…..most days it is not always this full on….but many days it is……I know I am loved and valued by my father in heaven and my family here on earth. There are days when it feels like everything I do goes unnoticed and yet I don't do it for that. There are special times when they stop and say thanks…I mean really say thanks. In fact my daughter gave me a card this past mothers day that said all I needed to hear ……it is days like these that I get it out and read it over and over again:

“I love the little things you do….It’s in the small everyday things that I receive your love and it means more than anything. It’s how you make me pizza for school, drive me to the bus stop, wake me up every morning when I could just have an alarm, want to spend time with me, wait for me in the car at singing, love my friends and always willing to listen to me whether it’s about my day at school or ranting about people. You are always there, doing the little things that could be taken for granted, and I’m taking this opportunity to thank you for them all. Not only do I love the little things you do but that’s one of the ways that I feel you love strongly”

AS I breathe that in….I am ready for the day. What do you need to breathe in to get you through you day?

Let the little children come to me!

Recently I sat in a Church service and the children were brought to the front to have a “children's talk.” Today the pastor was teaching on "let the children come to me for such is the kingdom of God.” 

My husband leans over to me and says, “They are speaking your language,” while looking at me with the smile that says, “see, this is not that bad.”  While I honour their intent, it was one of the most difficult things I have endured for a long time.  

Let me try to relive this for you…..

The children sit on the stage looking at the adults. There is a glass window behind them with Jesus holding his hands out drawing all His children unto Him. 

The talk begins for the kids and the adults are watching the kids who are now on show for all.  I see many adults begin to look at their watch or read their bulletin to pass the time while the “Children's talk” is on. The children are sitting very still and look a little uncomfortable as they are staring out at a whole lot of adults. The leader is lovely and tries to talk to them, to engage them and tell them how Jesus never told the children to go away and that he said we ALL needed to become like children to enter the kingdom.  The kids are quiet and still and the teacher is having trouble getting them to respond.  A whole lot of adults looking at you, can be scary. When one child finally does answer in a natural way, there was a laugh that rang through the congregation because her     answer was “so cute.” 

This caused the children to shut down even more,  but to be fair,  I was aware of the love and warmth that was evident in the room despite the strained process that is going on. 

And then after talking about “letting the children come to me, do not turn them away” …the children are asked to leave the room to go to Sunday School. 

Am I the only one in the room who can see the irony in this?

I know in this context, in this traditional setting, it makes sense. It is how “Church” has been done for a long time.  

“One day children were brought to Jesus in the hope that he would lay hands on them and pray over them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus intervened: “Let the children alone, don’t prevent them from coming to me. God’s kingdom is made up of people like these. After laying hands on them, he left.” (Matthew 19:13-15)

This passage is highlighting how the disciples continued to misunderstand Jesus and here I felt I watched it being played out yet again.

The service continues….

Luke18:17 "anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child, will never enter it" 

The Pastor begins to preach on this passage, while the children are elsewhere, taken away so the adults could learn more about being like a child so they can enter the kingdom. (sorry if I sound sarcastic)

He says….. “In the disciples’ minds the children were not important and important people don't hang out with children”

Not sure if anyone else could see the hypocrisy in the room.  Like a “frog in the kettle” here we are sitting in the comfortable, quiet, ordered space, listening to a well-spoken and passionate message, learning that we should be like the children we have just sent away to another room.

The Pastor continues to say, “Jesus says, what the world thinks is important is not what I care about. I care about the powerless and those that are like children. Jesus is constantly going sideways of his culture.”  

The congregation sits in silent agreement.

While I agree, the Pastor is saying that we must value children in this culture, in this setting, but somehow it feels like the actions this morning didn't match what was being said. God sees children as the people they are and He values them. Let them come and do not stop them, Jesus says.  The church should be a place where children are welcomed in and where they meet Jesus, but the cost of that is huge for the Traditional church. 

What are we saying to kids when we send them out? What are we saying to adults if we keep making it comfortable enough for them so they learn and they never have a chance to see what it is like for a child? They never get to learn from kids what it is like to have a “child-like” faith in order to enter the Kingdom when we gather at the church, because we are very rarely together!

He continues on saying, “Camps are great, and a place where kids get to go away and learn about Jesus and then bring it back home”

And while true, I am dying inside, feeling like he gets it, but then doesn’t. It is so wonderful to have a Pastor speaking about children, but what he is saying is only part of the truth. Our language is so tricky. Our western culture is set up to send kids away to learn and encounter Jesus at Camp, Sunday school or Kids Klub, but it is only part of the truth and what we are called to do. 

Then his final challenge to us all 

“Do you talk to them at the coffee break?Is it awkward ? We all feel awkward, but we have to reach out and take time to share the love with kids. It is not easy. It feels like you are all talking a different language. Sometimes it feels like we are watching cats being herded, but that's why we have a children's message, because we want them to know they are welcome. Don’t be the grumpy old church person. Even if it just a smile,  we are put on this earth to lead them and love them.”

This is his final plea to the adults in the room. His great encouragement. At this point, I am really struggling, but I look around the room and everyone is smiling and happy. 

So often the Church is missing the point on so many levels. I suppose we are still like the disciples all these years later…..clueless. I don't know where to start to unpack the experience of that morning, only to say I walked away from that morning feeling sad. 

What does it truly mean to welcome the children? To not hinder them? To love each other as if we are all the children of God? To see the family of God as one big family that needs to learn to love, live and grow together? When we get together as Christians, what did Jesus intend when he said: 

 Let the children alone, don’t prevent them from coming to me. God’s kingdom is made up of people like these.” (Matthew 19:13-15)

"anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child, will never enter it” (Luke 18)

We must be challenged to consider what that should look like today if we followed Jesus example? 

What do Spring Rolls and Playdough have in common?

I wonder how you eat spring rolls? I have always loved spring rolls, but I had never tasted spring rolls like in Hanoi, Vietnam, until this year. I think I have been spoiled for life now. They are quite a delicacy in Hanoi and nothing compares to them anywhere. I also learned a lot about how they eat them. That was very inspiring.

In Vietnam culture, the spring roll is something that is shared with the community, it is something they do together, using the same dips for everyone. Where in Australia, we have a rule of NO double dipping, in Vietnam, it is an essential part of eating them to share the same dips and to dip together.

The spring rolls “dips” are also very symbolic of the experience of doing it together. The dip is a mixture of lemon (sour) , garlic ( smelly) , capsicum, chilli (hot) , Pepper (spicy), fish sauce (sugar) , water that joins it all together.

The ingredients of the dips represent all types of tastes and combinations, coming together and being blended to make something special. This is a symbol of community. There are all kinds of people who should make up community and it is the variety that makes it TRUE community. What a beautiful example of what community should look like. We all get to be together at the banquet sharing it together. It reminds me of the great banquet Jesus talked about where all were invited and welcomed to share together. The sad thing is that, just as in the parable, there were many who wouldn't come. So it is with our culture, which has become so obsessed with having our own dips and making sure that we are separate so as to not share germs, and allowing everyone to have control of their own combinations and eat what they want to eat and not have to share.

I often do this excursive with all ages, where I give them a piece of play dough and everyone has a different colour. I begin by asking them to design something with their play dough and create something that represents them. Many enjoy this process but the next step is hard for them. Even though this is only a piece of play dough, it is amazing how attached they get. I ask them to share their creation with other people in the room and as they do they must share a piece of play dough, which means they give a piece away and gain a piece. As they continue to swap with people over and over again, they end up with different colours in their hands.

It always amazes me how the majority of people keep all the colours separate even when I am constantly asking them to massage the colours together as they go. When they sit down I ask them again to massage the colours all together in order to make a new colour. Many just can’t do it. They have either been conditioned to NOT mix the colours or they don't like the fact that their creations has been destroyed and it is no longer the same as when they started.

Again this practical exercise reminds us that to be TRUE community means that in the sharing process, what we end up is not the same as what we started with. Some people love this, but more than often our “isolated”, “controlling”, “self-focused”, “comfortable” culture means that we really struggle with this exercise. Sounds harsh I know, but there is no other explanation for this behaviour. If this is so hard in an exercise with play dough, imagine the sacrifice it takes for people to live in TRUE community. Like the spring roll experience, life is meant to be shared and done together. And through the combining and sharing we are all transformed to become something different..

How about you ... are you okay to SHARE your sauce dips and double dip your spring rolls? Can you MIX your play dough colours ... or does the thought of that make you cringe?

The bigger question is ... is life in your faith community truly shared and mixed together, and if not what are you missing out on?

What makes a home?

I entered a beautiful, well ordered, nicely set out home. It had all the modern things that we consider a house needs; a fully equipped kitchen, lounge with two big TVs, in a safe neighbourhood. The rooms were nicely furnished and everything was in its place. The bed was very nicely made with a welcome note on the bed and a few lollies left for me from the owner. 

The owners were away, yet they graciously allowed me to stay there for three nights, which was a blessing. There were two boarders living there, and while friendly when we occasionally crossed paths in the hallways, they pretty much stayed in their own rooms behind closed doors. My schedule was busy so I spent very little time at the home, but I entered and left most days with all the rooms in darkness, hearing very little voices or life in the house...certainly no laughter. Of the two encounters I had with one of the boarders, one was to ask me to turn down my iPad while in my room as the sound of what I was watching was disturbing her in her room. The other was to make sure I put my glass in the dishwasher after I had a drink. 

Everything in the environment encouraged me to stay in my room, when there was a perfectly lovely lounge room, spa out the back, a lovely kitchen to cook and eat in. But the whole time I was there it was dark and closed up. I felt like it would be wrong the turn the light on and enjoy the spaces, even if it was by myself.

It was a beautiful looking house, but it was like being in a hotel, which in some ways was what it was for me. While for this trip it suited my purposes, it made me think how I couldn't live like this, and it made me wonder how many people actually do?

As I left on the third morning heading toward my loud, crazy home that is filled with people and noise and laugher, I appreciated more than ever before what really makes a home. See, I too have two boarders so I understand this living arrangement. We regularly congregate in the kitchen for long, fun conversations, the lounge room is rarely vacant, and there is laughter, activity and life. We insist on eating together as regularly as we can, we create environments where we do things together yet respect that everyone needs their own space. But I realise this happens because there is intentionality in our home to make it this way. It takes setting a tone of how we want to live in community, or at least how what living together in our home looks like. If we didn’t I could imagine how easy it would be for everyone to migrate to their rooms and only pass in the hallway occasionally. 

Another encounter I had with the other boarder was when she let me into the house. I asked her how long she had been living there. She said over a year, and continued on by saying she loves it when the owners are there, because there is always lots of family around. I know for a fact that it would have been a very different experience for me it they had been home. As the stewards of their home, they have the ability to create an environment that is either a home or a hotel and I know that they do that. Anyone however can be a part of making this happen. It is a matter of choosing it.

I know that my husband and I work hard at this, mainly because it is how we want to live together. But, I pray we are also able to model to all who live or stay with us in the short or long term, or for those who simply visit our home, that a home can be a safe, fun, empowering and life-giving place to do life with others.

A home is the people, not just the well planned floor plan: it's the personal interaction, not just the modern comforts : it's the love and shared life, not so much enough space that we can choose isolation. Maybe more than anything it is the choice for all in the household to be intentional about sharing the space. While that means our shared spaces get messy at times, sometimes “chaos” is apparent, lights and noise fill most spaces, the kitchen is full of smells and activity...my prayer is that people feel welcome, accepted and that when they enter our house, they have a place to call home.