Joy is a Choice

This particular day in lockdown felt like it could sting. My daughter turned 21 and we could not celebrate it the way we had planned, the family was all separated and not able to be together.  COVID has affected us all in so many difficult, tragic and inconvenient ways. Some we can laugh off and let it go, some that sting. I know there has been much pain and loss for so many and the question is how we face it and move forward. 

 

It is when we feel separated, isolated, on the outside looking in, restricted even from human touch, or completely cut off which can happen in multiple ways; that grief, panic, anxiety, fear and tears and anger can take a hold. 

 

I wrote on my daughter’s card: 

 

“This is not the day we planned, but we are learning this is the day we have. Live it well, make the best of each moment and today, like any other day can be a happy one” 

 

A day that could have stung, ended up having some lovely highs, because we chose to make the best of little moments that we could have. The isolation made me more aware of the things that are most precious and allowed me to grieve more deeply for what I no longer have. Most importantly, I did not let the pain and loss destroy the joy.

 

As one so much wiser than me said: 

 

“Joy is possible even amid great labours – the labour of dying, the labour birthing, and the labours between. We cannot force it. But we can create moments to breathe through labour pains and surrender our senses to the present moment, notice the colours and light and feeling of being alive, here, together, joy comes more easily…….Joy returns us to everything good and beautiful and worth fighting for…joy is the gift of love: it makes the labour an end it itself. I believe labouring in joy is the meaning of life” (Valarie Kaur, 2020)

 

I reminisced where I was 21 years ago when my daughter was born and pondered on all that I had back then.  During the ‘actual’ labour, there were so many moments of joy that I took for granted, that now feel lost amidst complication and pain. 

I know this day could have gone many ways. I had the choice to bring joy or pain, grief or laughter, possibilities or giving up, love or pity, grace or unforgiveness, prickly or soft, hope or hopelessness. Every moment was a choice. Every moment is a choice. And often it is not a choice I can make in my own strength.

This is not the life I planned, but I am learning that this is the life I have…………I choose to live it well, to make the most of each moment and choose today and each day from now on, that there will be happy moments again. 

 

“Performance of joy while the wounds are still being inflicted is not a display of otherworldly strength. It is an act of faith that God will not give us more than we can bear”. (R. Rohr, 2021)

 

I am thankful for my loving Heavenly Father who holds me up every step of the way. I would not and could not, do it in my own strength. I know we all have those days that sting, those times when life throws you something that seems too hard to bear, when the day or life you planned falls apart.  It is in these moments we must choose to believe that that ‘labouring in joy IS the meaning of life.’

 

 

 

 

 

It Starts in the Heart

I have had the privilege of spending time with some faith communities around Australia. I spent 4 days across 2 churches in South Australia. I didn’t realise at the time, but God knew. On the outside they couldn’t have been two more different church communities. One that met in the middle-class suburbs with members who are all either doctors, lawyers or training to be. The other was based right in the inner city with a main mission to helping and serving the homeless. One that met in a traditional church building with comfortable chairs, life groups, children’s and young adults ministry and good audio-visual. The other met in the park, bring your own camp chair and share a piece of paper with some words on it. Some of this community would have spent the morning feeding the homeless, offering showers, toilets and laundry. They had been a part of the South Australian fringe festival with the arts … sharing their gifts and being a light in the mainstream community as the fringe festival is going on all over the city.  

If you were to draw conclusions based on what you see on the outside, I can guarantee what you assume would be wrong. There may be one of those communities I just described that you may feel more comfortable in, but we must not judge and assume the heart of each person and space. 

It would be a bit like going to a wedding ceremony. Everyone looks their best, there is a certain amount of ceremony that is required for a wedding service to be complete. Some can look formal, some Informal. But there is a joining together, a commitment to each other, words spoken out by some or all, a certain amount of sitting and listening and sharing. 

But if all you thought ‘marriage’ was about was a ceremony, I can guarantee it would not last or be very healthy. No, it is in the ‘day in and day out’ that you see the heart, what really makes a community. It is in the way we love each other outside of the public ceremony that really counts. 

Love starts in the heart, but then life must overflow out of that. Life starts in the heart, but then life must overflow out of that. Faith and community starts in the heart and then life must overflow out of that. It goes beyond what the outside structure looks like.

So, when you get the privilege to sit with people in both of these faith communities you see a heart, where life overflows out of love for each other and for God and for those who do not know Him yet. 

From one lady, who, when things closed down from COVID, said, “That is not right, those on the streets need love now more than ever.  You can’t stop me. I will put a chair and table on the street and be there to pray for those who need it.”  So she did. She had no idea how and what was going to happen but for 8 months while COVID shut down the city and many ministries, she sat in the laneway of the inner city and took prayer requests and prayed for people. She said in all that time, she never heard a bad word or a rebuke toward her, but rather many homeless people said, “This is what the church should be doing”. Others fell to their knees and wanted to pray with her right there and then. 

To the young man in his 20s, who shared about how he would not be who he is today without this family of God. When he described church camp, a special event when they get together, he said, “It is the closest thing we get to heaven. Everything is so purposed towards God. You give yourself a 2-3 day window to see what humanity is capable of. To bond together and to actually build that community and be a representation of what God intended."

To the 60+ lady who couldn’t help share her passion about all age worshipping together. She said, “It is about focusing on the Lord. Age shouldn’t matter, if we focus on God we should be able to work through all the generations.” 

“The Lord your God will change your heart and the hearts of all your descendants, so that you will love him with all your heart and soul and so you may live.” Deut 30:6 (NLT)

To a 50+ single woman. What bubbled out of her when asked about her favourite memory of life together, was, “Curry nights, (she says with a warm tone), everyone mucks around, eats together and talks. It feels like family, fun. Feels like there is a lot of joy. It feels like we use the church space differently. Worshipping in just being ourselves. There’s often some creativity. All are welcome.”

These were people whose love starts in the heart and then life overflows out of that. So maybe it doesn’t matter what the ceremony looks like. 

“And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh”. (Ez 11:19 ESV)

I do believe that there are things we can do to help create environments to see generations do life together, but the key for me was that each person I spoke to wanted to see that more and more.  

In my last conversations with the pastors and leaders of both these churches they said, “Please tell us what are some key things we can do to connect the generations more”. With hearts like that, God can do anything, change is possible and connections across the ages will happen and will make a difference in everyone’s heart. 

Piece By Piece

  

I have a confession to make. I wrote a book about puzzle pieces called “Piece by Piece”. I use puzzles in my teaching all the time. But they have always been 40 or 20, maybe 70 pieces maximum. You know the kid’s puzzles, which allow me to use them for a challenge or a teaching point in a short period of time and allow me to make my point quickly.

 

A few months ago, during COVID lock down I did my first 1000-piece puzzle ever.  After a few hours I couldn’t believe how far I had NOT got in doing the puzzle. I hadn’t even got the edges of the puzzle sorted out. It was so hard. I was thinking, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I do this?  What is taking me so long? Once I did get the edges of the puzzle sorted, I thought that it would flow from there, but it just got harder. So many of the pieces looked exactly the same and the process of trying each piece one by one into each other to get a connection was a very slow process. 

 

Now, I know anyone who does puzzles, is not surprised. It is just silly me, for whom this was my first experience of a putting a large complex puzzle together. I got so hooked in conquering the process that when I looked at my watch and before I knew it, it was 3am in the morning. I was wired and thought, “oh what the heck, can’t go to bed now”. I just kept on going all night and by 7am I thought it might be good to stop and have breakfast.  But I still was nowhere finished. It took days and hours in each day, over 2 weeks to finally finish the puzzle. And to my shock and horror there were three pieces missing. It was such a letdown to do all that work and still not be able to finish it. 

 

The process of doing a 1000-piece puzzle was such a different process to doing a puzzle with 40 pieces. The pieces are obvious and with the cover picture to guide, placing each piece is quite an easy job. 

It put the statement “piece by piece” in a whole new light for me. But it did make me wonder…

 

When I consider faith communities, I wonder if we really are meant to be part of something so large that it takes so long to find your place?

 

I get how easy it is to gravitate easily to a group of like-minded people, a clump of people like you. I found it helpful to put the same-colored puzzle pieces together to help get me started. But I know that with a smaller puzzle each piece is often unique and very quickly distinguishable. You don't tend to form clumps as much as spread them out, find their distinguishing parts and then place them in the right space in the puzzle. It is a very different process. 

 

While I was doing the puzzle, I found myself staring at a whole lot of pieces that looked exactly the same and didn't know where to start. In a big faith community in its 1000’s, wherever you look you can see faces in a crowd and you can easily get lost. It would be easy to never be found or never feel like you are missed. It would be easy to imagine that your ‘piece’ really doesn’t matter and actually feel very

 unseen or unvalued. It would be very easy to feel like just a cog in a large wheel and although it is horrible to have a piece missing, when you are in the puzzle, no one really knows you are there, your piece doesn’t stand out that much.

 

I know that being in a smaller faith community, I am missed if I am not present. I am valued for the part I play, and I feel very connected to all the other pieces. Having been a part of a large faith community for the larger part of my life, I have looked over the sea of faces and never really knew many of them. Yes, it was great to be part of a large celebration, but I was never known like I am now. (Hebrews 10:25)

 

I know that God knows us all, He sees us all and there are many parts of the body of Christ. (Ps 139:1) But I couldn’t help but imagine that while we are a part of His Big Story, the big picture, during our time spent on this earth we only get glimpses of that BIG picture. His Kingdom is made up of lots and lots of little pictures where each person is seen, valued, heard and able to shine. 

 

I have done quite a few large puzzles since my first attempt months ago. I have enjoyed the process, it causes you to slow down, with long hours of focus and intentionality. Of course, I have realized over and over again that the journey is far more important than the final finished puzzle. In fact, after hours and hours of doing a puzzle, once finished I am not sure what to do with it, but to pack it up and put it away in the box again. It definitely gives you a sense of achievement but mostly it feels a little anti-climactic. I just want to start another one.

 

So, I get the temptation of achieving and doing something big, but I am not sure if that was God’s end game. If it was, Jesus would have come to this earth to draw a crowd, to gather 1000s. Instead, His end game was to gather 12-70 people, draw out their uniqueness, build them up and teach them that they have a small part to play in the big picture. And then He led by example by dying on a cross and rising again, with only a few watching and knowing that He was changing history. We were chosen to stand up and stand out, shine His light, not just to be a face of a large crowd. That is yet to come:

 

Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. 12 In a loud voice they were saying:

“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,

    to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength

    and honor and glory and praise!”

13 Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying:

“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb

    be praise and honor and glory and power,

for ever and ever!”

14 The four living creatures said, “Amen,” and the elders fell down and worshiped. 

(Rev 5:11-14)

 

 

…until then I wonder if God’s design of faith communities was to walk deeply together in smaller puzzles so that everyone knows they have a place and that they are known and loved. 

His kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven

 

  

Every now and then you are lucky enough to get a glimpse of His Kingdom on earth. I know, a few times a year I walk away from a space and feel that. I am sure if feels different for everyone, as I surely don’t have a monopoly on what His Kingdom on earth or in heaven might look like. For me, it feels like a glimpse of something so beautiful, that you think ‘wow’, if this is good, what must heaven feel like?

Last Sunday morning in our faith community gathering, there were no bells, no whistles, no slick presentations or productions. But as an intergenerational faith community gathering there was something that happened in the room because of the people who were in it and the way we gathered, that enriched my soul to its very core. I left feeling like I had just glimpsed “his Kingdom on earth.”

There were stories shared, struggles felt, there was food, fun, worship and prayer. The youngest led us in prayer, the youth shared visions and the old dreamed dreams.

"In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams". (Acts 2:17)

I wished I had recorded it, but the feeling of being there will stay with me for a long while. There is something very powerful when a space is created that is safe to simply be yourself. A placed where you feel loved and seen.

I loved seeing the youth leaders empowering the kids to pray for them. I loved seeing many bringing their gifts and serving the body of Christ. I loved seeing the ease with which people felt welcomed and the joy of the conversations being had. I loved to hear those who are not always so confident, taking the time to really consider what they wanted to share. I loved seeing a father, publicly commend and value her daughter. I loved the honesty with which he shared his struggles and joys. I loved listening to one of our eldest share with tears, her deep love for her heavenly father and implore us all to read His word as she led us in communion.

"You’re blessed when you’re ravenously hungry. Then you’re ready for the messianic meal” (Luke 6:20)

I never want to take for granted the richness of faith community and the strength it brings to my daily walk of faith. Sunday was how it should be : one cooks, one sings, one loves and cares for another, one sees one’s pain, one sits alongside, one listens, many share, many pray, many love … all sharing what we have.

“They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal and the prayers.” (Acts 2:42)

In the midst of COVID-19 it has never been so rich. In a community where much pain and loss is happening, His Kingdom is so real.

“You are blessed when you’ve lost it all. God’s Kingdom is there for the finding.” (Luke 6:19)

I walked up to Ruth (our sage) who shared, wanting to simply say thank you. I stepped into a conversation she was having with a young adult. I listened as she spoke to this young woman, telling her that whenever you speak, you are not looking to please anyone but God and the place to really know Him is in the word.

“There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests. Your task is to be true, not popular.” (Luke:26)

I watched this young lady absorb every word and my heart leapt as I watched His Kingdom come again.

I remembered in Luke 6 when people said of Jesus, “Every was trying to touch him … so much energy surging from Him.” I feel that with Ruth, that energy surging from her from the Father. Not only do I want to be like her when I grow up, but I never want to waste a moment when in the presence of such Godly, yet humble servants like Ruth.

Later that young adult shared with me how Ruth’s word confirmed a prophecy spoken over her last year and that she realised in the midst of COVID and family issues pressing in on her she had forgotten God’s words.

And this is only what I saw God doing last Sunday. I am sure He was doing much more.

Scripture was being lived out, as ‘Acts’ had been my reading that week and all our midweek clusters are studying Luke together. Watching His word, his people and his love converge and spread throughout the morning, brought His Kingdom on earth for just a moment.

I thank God for the Community I get to do life with and pray that we never take for granted how rich it is.

I know it is not what people want to hear or learn, when people ask me “what does an Intergenerational Community look like?” They are looking for programs to implement, systems to put into place, worship service outlines they can duplicate. So often we want to complicate it, but once true love and life together gains momentum, you get to sit back and watch it happen, like I did last Sunday, and simply thank God that you had eyes to see and ears to hear His Kingdom come.

Hope in a Time of Despair

Amidst a pandemic health problem that is real and threatening it imperative that we need to “socially isolate” from each other. This for some is exciting, and for some scary. All the extroverts are thinking OMG how will I survive, Introverts are saying “yay”, but over time everyone will feel the strain of all that it will mean.  

I must say at first, I was tempted to put my head down and hibernate for while. It suited me just fine.  And probably “like a sabbath”, that many like me are not good at taking, for a time it might be just what everyone needs. But it didn't take me long before the guilt of “ease and comfort” set in and I realised this might be just the time when God is calling us to rise up. I mean, what would the world say about Christians during this time if all they saw is that we were hiding in our houses, keeping to ourselves?

“The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers into his harvest”  

(Matthew 9:37-38)

Never before in my life, have I had a chance to help my neighbour as I have this week, to connect with people who have been otherwise too busy and share feelings and listen to each other.  The faith community I am a part of, that I would say is pretty connected usually, has been more connected that ever before. 

With Messenger, Facebook, Text, Phone calls, there is sharing going on everywhere. We had a ZOOM prayer and worship morning this Sunday morning. The young people stayed on an hour after we finished just to talk to each other. And one of our community who now lives in Paris, France, was able to join us for the first time in 6 months. 

A few days before that we had a practice for those new to ZOOM to get on and make sure everything was working. What a laugh. People were so funny, all trying to talk to each other at the same time, while some people were trying to do funny things, the young people chatting on the side, the oldies trying to get their camera focused. As we all share what God is challenging and comforting us with, we are all hearing God’s heart and word from all different people. Every person has the chance to make someone else's day. And this is not happening just on Sundays, it is happening every day of the week.

We have also found that our outward/missional expression has increased tenfold. In the past week, as a community, we have created a “Love and Care for each other” notice board and people are pitching in to create baskets for shut ins and struggling families. We have worked out how we can get FREE food parcels to families. We have created a “card” that people can fill out and drop in neighbours’ boxes to offer help. We have considered starting to write “old fashioned” letters to people and create a pen pal system. Young people have helped older people hook up ZOOM and Messenger. Our people are putting together “craft kits” for kids, Easter hampers for others. Some are making cards and others are just enjoying a lot more time to chat. 

People we haven’t heard from in ages are now connecting back in and appreciating the community. And every day offers a chance to make someone’s day. For the numbers of shopkeepers and workers who have been yelled at each day, it doesn’t take much to counteract that with a smile and a thank you.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  

Hebrews 10-20-25

All this to say that if we have eyes to see, and ears to hear, now is the time to bring “Hope” in a time of despair, to walk together more deeply and make sure people don't feel alone.

Let’s share the stories of what is possible, because now more than ever, every little bit helps.

The panic of not having, and knowing what we really need.

In the wake of the current climate, where so much is unknown, the panic over toilet paper (non-essentials) and not having enough food stocked in cupboards, is an interesting response. 

As many followed Jesus out onto the hillside one day, longing for something more than what food and money can buy, they found themselves in a place where they had nothing to eat that day. They were not prepared with food, as to follow Jesus and the nourishment He was giving was the main focus. So they listened to Him speak and pondered on the depth of His words.

Then Jesus said to the disciples, “you feed them”. Maybe like us right now, they looked at each other with bewilderment and felt straight away, “We can’t do that”.  

We look right now at the situation, and although the really important conversation is about health, it seems that the panic is about the fear of not having the food we want, when we want it. So much so that there needs to be a set time for the elderly and disabled to have a time when they are not being rushed by everyone else, simply as they get a few items. The hoarding and panic of food and toilet paper that is happening around the country seems like such an overreaction to something far more important. We are blessed to live in a country where supply of these things would never be in jeopardy. Imagine how people might respond if this was really the issue. Something many third world countries face daily.

But deeper than this and sadder for me is that many churches all over the world seem to be focusing on the sadness of not being able to meet in their usual crowds. As solutions are becoming apparent there seems to be a sense that everything will be okay because you can stay in your house and your pastor will “live stream” in his message. Is this really a solution to the problems arriving? Is this even the problem? Is this even the calling?  Maybe we have strayed so far from our calling that at this time it is surely important to ask, “what should our focus be on right now?” I believe it is the same focus that it has always been. It has never changed? 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart … and love your neighbour as yourself.” Matthew 22: 37-39.

Yes, this IS our call. So, what does that look like right now, today?  So many Christians, ministries are so focused on how to maintain all that they have created, that to ask how best to love God and love each other in this difficult time is hard right now. 

Like the disciples, we look at each other and say, “We can’t do that. We have to answer bigger questions: people are not coming to our services anymore. What do we do about all our planned Easter Celebrations? How do I televise my message so everyone can hear it?”

Jesus said bring me what you have … 2 fish, 5 small loaves of bread, and He used it to feed over 5000 right there and then, reminding us that God provides us with even more than what we think we need and we can find peace and comfort in His provision. Then He drew away from the crowds to be by Himself and with His father because He knew they wanted to idolise Him, make it all about Kingdom building here on this earth, create bigger crowd gatherings. (John 6:5-15).  The next day the crowd found out where Jesus was and followed him again. He said to them, “You’ve come looking for me not because you saw God in my actions but because I fed you, filled your stomachs - and for free. Don't waste your energy striving for perishable food like that. Work for the food that sticks with you, food that nourishes your lasting life, food the Son of Man provides.” (Jn 6:26-27MSG)

Last night my daughter came home from her life group, a small group of people (less than 10) meeting together to share stories, their life and their struggles and read God’s word. She was buzzing as she shared how life-giving it was to hear and share real challenges in the midst of such pain. While I love a podcast of a great preacher/pastor and there is a place for that, especially today, in times like these I believe we must be a shining light, of people who know what is most important and can we live in a way that brings peace and love and generosity in the place of panic, hoarding and self-doubt.  What gives us real nourishment? We all have access to His “Word” here in Australia. We are blessed. This is the food that sticks with you.  With that assurance, we are then called to be together and love our neighbour.  What a great time in history to be asking the question, 

“What does being together and loving our neighbour look like today?” 

Oh, that we should be known as people who loved well and cared well, who shared well, who asked, “What can we do for others today?”

The 5000 on the hillside that day, didn't seem panicked that they didn't have food, much less toilet paper. They seemed more panicked that Jesus had left and they wanted to know where He was. As they carried their many baskets of leftover food with them (more than they needed), they walked around the Sea of Galilee to hear Jesus speak again. 

“I am the bread of life. The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever.”  (John 6:35) As the Jews started arguing about what he just said, Jesus continued with stunning words that stop me in my tracks when I read them: 

“Don’t bicker among yourselves over me. You’re not in charge here. The Father who sent me is in charge. He draws people to me. That’s the only way you’ll ever come. Only then do I do my work, putting people together, setting them on their feet, ready for the End.” (John 6:43-44MSG)

What do we really need today? What does the world really need today? How can we be a part of the solution and not be a part of the problem? Do we really believe what is happening today is a surprise to God? Let us to seek Him for how we are called to be His people today and maybe in the process we might find that the things we thought were really important,  like how we gather, how we function as His body, might even set us on a better course for the future.  

A Collision of Old and Young

As a faith community we have created an environment we call “Upward Worship”. It has elements of food and fellowship, input and worship, reflection and mediation, prayer and ministry.  People enter in at all different levels during the worship and reflection space and all ages are present. 

I remember this one night when a young single mother came with her twin 12 month old babies. We had cushions and rugs all over the floor and while the worship was happening the children were playing up the front on the cushions. They would adventure to different spaces and at times they were hard to take your eyes off. They were so gorgeous. I wondered a few times if it was too distracting. I watched a few of our elderly and wondered if this would be a problem. The mother was so gentle with the children and had to rescue them a few times, but generally they we just being 12 month old babies and their innocent play was captivating, but not distracting if you didn't allow it. 

A few weeks later, one of the elderly women in our community asked me if at next “Upward Worship” she could share a story. I was delighted and then she asked me the name of the mother with the young children. It was an unusual name and she kept forgetting it. I giggled and wondered what that was all about, but didn't think much of it. 

So “Upward Worship” came around again and Ruth took the mic, sat on the edge of the stage and began to share. 

I recorded this moment so I am going to use her words for the next few paragraphs. I don't want to miss a word of her wisdom. 

She began to share… “how great it is to be in a church from young to old, and old to young”.  She said she wanted to encourage us and began to talk about the mother and her two beautiful children. She stopped and began to cry as she tried to describe how beautiful they were. She continued on to say that the mother “was such a beautiful mother, she just let those little children investigate, and then rescued them if they needed it, gave them a cuddle when they needed that. It really touched my heart”. She continued … “One of them climbed up onto the stage and then wanted to get down and he came up and touched the pillow and realised it wasn’t secure, so he turned around and went down backwards…and I thought it was just so beautiful". 

She was clearly enamoured by these children and after the worship had finished she went up to the young mother and told her she thought she was doing such a beautiful job with these children. How amazing it must have been for that young mum to hear those words of encouragement.

Ruth continued to share about … “how good is it that we can be in a group where we appreciate each other so much”.  

So then she said … “I went home and in the early hours of the morning I believe the Lord gave me a picture. A beautiful picture of myself and my heavenly father. How He is allowing me to go out and discover new things, experience new things and if I trip He just picks me up and loves me and holds me.  I want to say, those children ministered to me”. 

She talked about the power of a smile. She said, “A friend and I were talking not long after that about the power of a smile, and how if we smile to each other, we can affect and minister to others.   Isn't it amazing that God has created us with a muscle in our face that can effect someone’s heart”. (This was a statement of Gold to me) 

“I had this beautiful thought that not only was my father looking after me in that lovely time I had with him that morning, but He was also smiling at me. I am not special. He does the same for all His children and I just wanted to encourage our hearts tonight to the reality of God with us, caring for us, watching over us, helping us when we get into trouble and go the wrong direction.” 

She continued …  “When I was bringing up my children I would have smacked them and said “get down”, but this mother was just so gentle and I think that is what struck me most. You are all very precious to Him. He loves you very much, and He is on your case, but with a smile”. 

She asked if she could pray for us all and as we bowed our heads and closed our eyes, I could see her weeping, as she found it hard to get the words out. Her love for God often overflows in this way and as she prayed you could see the ways in which God overwhelms this beautiful woman. She prayed …

           “I thank you God for the compassion that you 

have for the youngest to the oldest. 

That you have brought us together as a 

community to share life together. 

 I thank you so much for your great heart of love for us. We can never thank you enough. 

I commit these precious people to you tonight, 

that they may know the deep reality of your 

powerful and gracious love. To be able to smile at you 

and to give us the awareness that you are not a Judge, 

but someone who loves us.” 

She finished with a verse …

Is 40:10-11

“The sovereign Lord comes with the power. The Sovereign Lord tends to his flock like a shepherd. He gathers His lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart. He gently leads those that have young.”

Ruth was open and willing to be taught by the play of two innocent babes and a young mother’s love. God can use anything, if we have eyes and hearts that are open.  When I consider all the things we could be doing as a “faith community”, it is moments like this that remind me that all He wants from us it to be together, to care and appreciate each other, to learn from each other and to honour Him with all that we have.  Is there anything more wonderful than that?

When "crap" literally gets in the way

I have always been fascinated with the sunrise. Something about watching it creep up and

say “hello”, turning darkness into light, and especially over the beach.  That moment when you can see the sparkle it puts on the water.  It is as if you can reach down and touch it. It is in that moment that I feel more connected to the sun, even more connected to my Creator.

I haven’t noticed it before but early in the morning as you walk along the beach the sun’s beam follows you as you walk. Sometimes leading, sometimes walking beside, sometimes slightly behind, but always close. I suspect if someone else was walking one mile behind me it would also feel the same for them. It is amazing that the sun can feel so close to everyone at the same time.

As the sun goes higher and higher, it no longer feels so close. I know it is always there, it is just harder to feel as close to it. But you know it will come close again the next morning … if you are willing to meet it again that early. It is important that the sun keeps moving.  The whole world needs to it too.  It is the sun’s job, but those precise moments when you can draw close to such a force is “life-giving”.

I think that’s why I love an early morning beach walk so much ... so why is it then that I only do it once or twice a year?

Cause “crap” gets in the way, even when you make the grandest plans. 

So just recently, I planned to take my camera and watch the sunrise. I was staying right near the beach, so I thought this was a no brainer. I got up at 5:50am in the morning to capture the sunrise with my camera. It is not so easy for me to get up early. It takes more effort than I want to give in the morning but I am never disappointed. I got dressed and ran down to the beach. I had found a good position, poised ready and set with my camera to capture the moment. It was so beautiful, watching the colours change in the sky. I knew it wouldn’t be long now, the sun never disappoints.

Asthe sun starts to creep over the edge of the world, I feel a sensation in my lower region and know exactly what it meant. OMG, I need to “poo”. Okay, clench hard, hold it in, this too will pass, I am staying here, this is where I want to be.

So, I am taking photos and trying so hard to ignore the urges that are getting stronger and stronger and not going away. This one is persistent. Seriously, why now? I can’t hold it in. I take as many photos as I can and then stand to walk back to my cabin.  I am walking backwards, taking photos and hoping I can control this urge. But it gets the better of me and it is not stopping. I run back to my cabin and the explosion into the toilet is impressive. But sorry to say that some did not make it to the toilet! I have the stains to prove it.

Now I interrupt this story to apologise if I have offended anyone with my detail, but it is strange that we don’t talk about it much. After all, it is a part of daily life, it comes and goes every day and it is NOT a nice substance. Yet we cannot escape it, in fact it MUST come and go each day or we will be in trouble.

When we need to “poo”, it is not a surprise. For some it is a relief, for some it is a pleasure, and for most it is simply a necessary part of life. Maybe if we talked about it more it might help us realise that “crap” is a part of life and we cannot escape it.

Try as I did to hold it in, make it go away, pretend it didn’t exist, stop it from getting in the way of my special sunrise experience, it took over and took me away from the one place I wanted to be. And left me with a yucky remainder of what I now had, in place of the relaxing moment on the beach alone with my camera and the sun.

So when “crap” happens and wants to spoil the moments, you always have a choice.

My choice … 

I got changed and walked back to the beach. The sun was still there, beaming, as if waiting for me to return. I spent two more hours, walking, exploring, taking photos, watching the sun follow me, sometimes lead me, sometimes right beside.

Have you ever wanted to spent time with God, had a plan, and “crap” gets in the way? Of course you have. Any time you want to spend time with God, do the right thing, seek out good things, expect “crap” to happen. It is important to know it will come and go and still the “son” will always be there when you return.

That morning it happened again in another form. Someone rang up to bother me about a vacation deal while I was enjoying my walk with my God along the beach.

My fault, you say?  Yes, I made the choice to answer the call in the middle of my beautiful walk with the sun. The world always finds a way to disturb you with things that are a distraction particular to you.  A holiday, a getaway deal ... I am a sucker every time. You might even ask, why do you take your phone with you, if you didn't want to be distracted? Well, I need it to get my steps counted, so I earn more Qantas points so I can fly for free on my next vacation ... oh, the “crap” that surrounds us, the ways we justify the distractions. 

For all of you it will be different. So, what’s your crap? Can you name it? It might help if you expect it. It will come and go, and yet you always have a choice ... to keep choosing to move closer to the “Son”, the one who never leaves, never fails and never gives up on you, always loves, always cares and walks with you every day.

No room in the INN

The last two months of 2018, in our house felt a little like "there was no room in the Inn". “Air BnB Tolman”, were the words that were floating around, with a laugh. The week leading up to Christmas it was a "full house", with 12 people sleeping over Christmas night and 16 for Xmas dinner. Which doesn’t sound like a lot, but that was all last minute. Maybe we should have been called "last minute.com" rather than "Air BnB Tolman".

There is a difference between being invited and people landing unexpectedly. Of course, we had ample sufficiency, and plenty left over. It was not about the food, just the fullness of the house, which usually I love, but this time it was beyond my control and that is always a little challenging.  When you have to start making a roster to use the kitchen just to get things made for Christmas day it gets a bit hectic. Then when you do get a chance to cook, opening the fridge to find the things you’d bought for Christmas dinner had been eaten or taken without you knowing, can bring the worst thoughts out of you and I must say even a few choice words. 

With that many adults living in the house, the kitchen is always full of dirty dishes and I can’t seem to find things as people always put them in different places to me. On the positive side there are more people to clean, cook and there is someone always offering to make me a cup of tea. Netflix is constantly going, but not always what I want to watch.  Quiet time is hard to find, but I have my office to escape to when I get desperate. Oh, that’s right, there was someone staying in there as well over Christmas. Doh.

There was just no more room in the INN.

As I reflect on Christmas just gone, I feel I start the beginning of the New Year apologising and having to eat my own words. On Christmas Eve, I led our community in the reminder that in all the busyness of Christmas day we must remember that Christ is central. Yet the very next day I found myself feeling not only that I was simply surviving Christmas, but more than that, the worldly celebrations of eating, partying, drinking, presents and people crowded out “Jesus” so that He hardly came into my thoughts. 

How did you do it Jesus?  You came into the world, in a crowded, partying town, where the Inn was full. The world around barely stopped to notice that you were there, but still you came. You didn’t demand, you didn’t make a fuss, you simply came to serve. 

Lord, I want to be that kind of light in this world, in my home, in my community. But I find, when the going gets tough I simply want to hide in my room and hope it all goes away. I thank you that your birth was an example of how you planned to live and how you desire us to live. We are called to live in community, to open our lives and houses to those who need it and sometimes it will be uncomfortable and feel crowded.  You gave us a picture of the way the Church is meant to look ... The saviour of the world, the one to bring unconditional love, surrounded by smelly animals, lowly shepherds, two humble parents not sure what is really happening in a town that hardly knows or cares that you exist. 

Not that the people in my house are smelly animals ... well we won’t go there ... ha ... just kidding, but like any community, being uncomfortable, things not going to plan, and not always being able to find what you are looking for, is all a part of the territory. Help me to face the challenges with love and grace and not run and hide. Sometimes my hiding is even behind the serving or the smile and that is not good enough either. But also, thank you for the reminder that even in a lowly manger, in the shed behind the Inn, with the world passing you by, you still shone, and that’s all you ask me to do as well. 

Bring on 2019. Whatever challenges it brings, help me to make sure Jesus is always at the centre, no matter what is going on around me.

PS: This has been published with the permission of those living in my house at the time.