A picture paints a 1000 words....but is it the whole story?

I have often quoted, “A picture paints a thousand words”, and being someone who loves photography and the arts I am passionate about how something visual can speak louder than words. But this trip I have become aware even more so about what the ‘thousands of words’ mean?  As I have marvelled and enjoyed capturing God’s beauty, I have been amazed at the words it has evoked in other people that have seen my photos.  I realise, that even though I have taken a photo and it has revealed to me many words, emotions, memories, and joys, it is just the beginning of the power of the picture. For every individual who sees that one photo I have taken in my own context, there are so many more words evoked for other people.   

Tasmania

 

Bay of Fires

One visual takes them on their own journey, through their memory, their own wonder, their own discovery, that may have nothing to do with anything I have seen in that picture and what I saw when I took it.  Again, the power of the visual.   To have them relay back to me what they are seeing, widens my own view and helps me see more.  This is the importance of sharing with each other to widen our view and deepen the experience. The sadness is that we often keep our thoughts and pondering to ourselves and those around us don't benefit from our words and feelings.  The sadder aspect is that we have come to believe that the only one who can speak is the one who created the visual and so it is a one-sided conversation. It is like shutting down the words of others as if they are not valid and worthy to be heard.

 

But there is a danger to the power of the visual as well. Of course, I take many photos to get the perfect one, so in essence I am working hard to show you only my best photo, not all the blurred, out of focus photos that don't make it. There are so many words in every one of them, so many words in the process, so many words in the fact that sometimes there are days and days of nothing and monotony to finally get that high of a great photo. 

Uluru

 

Then there are also the words others add to my photos, that are not my words or assumptions about my experience that are not the truth.  The feedback is that just because I have taken a beautiful picture of God’s natural beauty, that I must be happy and having an amazing time.  Though the moment is captured and I am thankful and full because of the visual, that doesn’t always mean I am happy and having an amazing time. The power of the visual is that it can look like it is telling a story way bigger than I am really telling. It takes over and becomes its own story and the words I feel get lost.

 

All this to say that “life through a lens” is not always a true reflection of the truth. It can be the reflection you want people to see, or in my case it is the reflection of the God I long to live for, but confess I can’t always stay in.  So often the beautiful picture is also a deep reflection and desire to fill a deep ache and hole in my heart that right now seems unfillable. Life through a lens allows me to capture what I would like my world to look like, but sadly so often it is not what is on the inside. This trip I have focused on the beauty of creation, His nature. It is something I have needed to feed my soul, and it does. Nature is a place where I feel ‘it is what it is’. It is not trying to be something else, or hide behind a cover, it feels tangibly real, when right now in my world, I don’t quite know what is. That’s all the words my photos are saying. 

Kings Canyon

Bicheno Blowhole

 

 

“Isn’t is odd we can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside”  

(Charlie Mackesy)

 

I am not wanting to complain about the words that people are reflecting back to me, they are real and valuable and someone else’s story. I am thankful that the power of the visual gives people thousands of words and takes them to special places. But it does make me ponder on the importance of sharing with each other. The importance of the whole story, not just the highlighted bits that make me look good. I do not want to be that kind of impostor, or mislead others to feel that I am having the time of my life. Because this trip is fraught with challenge after challenge, as all of life is and we must be careful to know that FB or Instagram only tell half the story. 

 

Who are we sharing the whole story with, rather than the story we think they want hear? I am thankful for the few who walk closely with me and share all my words, the thousands that are good and the thousands that are broken and lost and hurting.  I am thankful for the many personal messages I have had over the last year, prompting me to know I am not alone. I am thankful for the beauty of creation and the safe place God provides anyone who seeks Him, whether it be in nature or otherwise. I am thankful for community, that while I am currently on my own in a van, I am deeply connected to a community of people and who have shared thousands of words over the years and months, both the good and the bad. In fact, I would say that I only get to share these pictures and have the strength to do this, because of those who carry me daily.  Yes, a picture paints a thousand words, but makes sure we are telling the whole story to someone, or the story is in jeopardy of not being real.   

You can't handle the truth

There is a movie that is still a favourite of mine called “A few good men”. It stars Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise and Demi Moore. 

 

Jack Nicholson plays a colonel in the US Army who carries lies and half-truths with him because he truly believes that nobody really wants to hear the truth. He is finally put on a stand in court to testify and you can see that he doesn’t see anything wrong with his behaviour. When he is questioned and challenged, he defiantly says, “you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall”. His statement is saying, you need me to lie and tell half-truths because I am protecting you, I am doing this for your own good. It is amazing how much we as humans so quickly come to believe our own lies as a sort of new “truth”.  

 

It is a very powerful scene in the movie. When Tom Cruise’s character challenges him to tell the truth, he finally breaks and says, “You can’t handle the truth”. You know he wants to say it, the lies and half-truths. They have been eating at him for a long time. So much so that he no longer knows what’s right and wrong anymore. It all got mixed up in the job he believes he was asked to perform. He believes to protect the American people he had no choice but to hide the truth and fall into too more and more lies. Until murder and deception had become so common that he believed it was all a part of his job. The sad thing was that the lies had him so backed into a corner that he ended up hurting those he most sought to protect and train.

 

I remember spending time learning how to mimic Jack Nicholson’s characterful as he said these words – “You can’t handle the truth”. I would find opportune times to quote it in my life to those around me, mostly to get laughs but often to break the tension of a tough situation where the real truth may have hurt. 

 

We applauded the movie and the great dialogue and the characters. We mocked and laughed at his character being so full of himself and super confident. But if we are honest, we know that deep down, there are some truths that we don’t want to ever tell for fear they will hurt, destroy, reveal and things will never be the same. And like “Col. Nathan R Jessup” (Jack Nicholson’s Character in the movie) we find ourselves dancing around half-truths and lies that back us into corners sometimes we don’t know how to get out of.

 

The hidden affairs of the heart, the things we do with our time behind closed doors, the half -truths we hide from our loved ones in order to not face conflict, the stories we embellish to make sure it all looks good on the surface. Richard Rohr would say this is the “false self” we so desperately want the world to see. We are all guilty of it. I wonder if that is why it is so hard to believe in a God who knows all and sees all. This is so scary to consider; believing in a God who you cannot fool or hide from. 

 

"Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden."  (Genesis 3:8 NIV)

 

From the beginning of time, we have tried to hide our half-truths. But I really do believe there is more danger in living in a “hiding the truth” stance, for fear of hurting someone. As painful as it is, I believe the truth can truly set us free. 

 

My children are moving into adulthood and at the age of considering deep relationships with possible life partners. If I only had one thing that I could tell my kids about relationships, it would be to “tell the truth, no matter how scary or even hurtful”. It is only in the ‘truth’ that you can truly love and live fully real lives. ‘Truth’ will bring as much joy and freedom as it will pain and challenge, you just can’t have one without the other.

 

We live in a world of half-truths and coverups, a lot of suspicion and disbelief. It is hard to know the truth and it seems that you are free to make your own truth. It is a confusing world. God’s truth is disputed and twisted all the time. Here in lies the deception. The enemy has had this plan all along, since in the beginning in the garden. 

 

It is a sobering thought, but we must decide how we will live. Do you want to be a person of truth? Then start with the relationships that means the most to you.  The ones you can’t bear to lose.  Choose a foundation of truth, honesty and openness. Let them see the real you, warts and all, and trust that true love will get you through whatever painful truth will reveal. If it doesn’t get you through, then it is still better than living with the “you can’t handle the truth” life that will never last or lead to anything real. 

 

God says “I know you; I have called you, I have loved you, I forgive you, I have died for you and all your half-truths you have tried to hide from the world.” It doesn’t get more truthful than that. 

 

Will we surrender to him and to each other? Test and see, the truth will truly set you free. 

His kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven

 

  

Every now and then you are lucky enough to get a glimpse of His Kingdom on earth. I know, a few times a year I walk away from a space and feel that. I am sure if feels different for everyone, as I surely don’t have a monopoly on what His Kingdom on earth or in heaven might look like. For me, it feels like a glimpse of something so beautiful, that you think ‘wow’, if this is good, what must heaven feel like?

Last Sunday morning in our faith community gathering, there were no bells, no whistles, no slick presentations or productions. But as an intergenerational faith community gathering there was something that happened in the room because of the people who were in it and the way we gathered, that enriched my soul to its very core. I left feeling like I had just glimpsed “his Kingdom on earth.”

There were stories shared, struggles felt, there was food, fun, worship and prayer. The youngest led us in prayer, the youth shared visions and the old dreamed dreams.

"In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams". (Acts 2:17)

I wished I had recorded it, but the feeling of being there will stay with me for a long while. There is something very powerful when a space is created that is safe to simply be yourself. A placed where you feel loved and seen.

I loved seeing the youth leaders empowering the kids to pray for them. I loved seeing many bringing their gifts and serving the body of Christ. I loved seeing the ease with which people felt welcomed and the joy of the conversations being had. I loved to hear those who are not always so confident, taking the time to really consider what they wanted to share. I loved seeing a father, publicly commend and value her daughter. I loved the honesty with which he shared his struggles and joys. I loved listening to one of our eldest share with tears, her deep love for her heavenly father and implore us all to read His word as she led us in communion.

"You’re blessed when you’re ravenously hungry. Then you’re ready for the messianic meal” (Luke 6:20)

I never want to take for granted the richness of faith community and the strength it brings to my daily walk of faith. Sunday was how it should be : one cooks, one sings, one loves and cares for another, one sees one’s pain, one sits alongside, one listens, many share, many pray, many love … all sharing what we have.

“They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal and the prayers.” (Acts 2:42)

In the midst of COVID-19 it has never been so rich. In a community where much pain and loss is happening, His Kingdom is so real.

“You are blessed when you’ve lost it all. God’s Kingdom is there for the finding.” (Luke 6:19)

I walked up to Ruth (our sage) who shared, wanting to simply say thank you. I stepped into a conversation she was having with a young adult. I listened as she spoke to this young woman, telling her that whenever you speak, you are not looking to please anyone but God and the place to really know Him is in the word.

“There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests. Your task is to be true, not popular.” (Luke:26)

I watched this young lady absorb every word and my heart leapt as I watched His Kingdom come again.

I remembered in Luke 6 when people said of Jesus, “Every was trying to touch him … so much energy surging from Him.” I feel that with Ruth, that energy surging from her from the Father. Not only do I want to be like her when I grow up, but I never want to waste a moment when in the presence of such Godly, yet humble servants like Ruth.

Later that young adult shared with me how Ruth’s word confirmed a prophecy spoken over her last year and that she realised in the midst of COVID and family issues pressing in on her she had forgotten God’s words.

And this is only what I saw God doing last Sunday. I am sure He was doing much more.

Scripture was being lived out, as ‘Acts’ had been my reading that week and all our midweek clusters are studying Luke together. Watching His word, his people and his love converge and spread throughout the morning, brought His Kingdom on earth for just a moment.

I thank God for the Community I get to do life with and pray that we never take for granted how rich it is.

I know it is not what people want to hear or learn, when people ask me “what does an Intergenerational Community look like?” They are looking for programs to implement, systems to put into place, worship service outlines they can duplicate. So often we want to complicate it, but once true love and life together gains momentum, you get to sit back and watch it happen, like I did last Sunday, and simply thank God that you had eyes to see and ears to hear His Kingdom come.

A Virus put us in "Time out"...

A Virus put us in “Time out.” What are we going to learn in there?

When my kids were little we had a “time out’ system. If they had done the wrong thing, or things really got out of control l would send them to “time out”. I am pretty sure it is standard practice in most households. It is a time when you must be isolated, on your own and have time to think, re-think and calm down. There was always accountability connected to it, with an expectation that your behaviour would change, and of course be better than when you were first sent to this space. I found it a very powerful tool for all involved, including me, the parent. Sometimes you really need to be able to have some space to stop and think about how you should proceed, so it brings us closer together and not further apart.

To be honest, at any age of life, this is a good practice to live by. It is just when children are young and they don't have the self-control or self-discipline to manage this process, that the ‘supposed’ more mature ones help create this boundary for them. As the parent I had been known to put myself into ‘time out’ and leave the kids to their own devices, which often had some interesting outcomes.

Deuteronomy 6 speaks of how we are to live our lives in abundance and in reverence to God. The famous promise is outlined to “Love God, your God, with your whole heart: Love Him with all that’s in you. Love Him with all you’ve got” (Deut 6:5 MSG).

Then because He knew we would forget it, He gave four keys to get it inside your hearts. He commanded that we: Talk about it wherever you are, sitting at home, walking in the street, talk about it in the morning, when you rise and the in the evening when you fall into bed. Place reminders wherever you can to make sure it happens. (v 6-9)

In this pandemic all we really have is our sitting at home, walking (two by two), our sleeping and waking. It is like the Virus has given us a BIG TIME OUT. I am not saying that we personally have done something wrong to deserve our TIME OUT. But the world has definitely got some serious things going wrong in order for everyone to be sent to their rooms.

And yet I am encouraged that even in this TIME OUT, we can carry on with God’s commands in order to have an abundant and full life. I know it is hard for some people to comprehend this, but to Love God with our whole heart and all we have, is actually one of the only things we can do right now.  Isn't it cool that just when we think, “how are we going to go to ‘Church’ and be the light to the World?” that maybe He is reminding us that the four simple things he asked us to do, we can still do.  And all He is asking us to do is to be obedient to that. 

I wonder if in this time to re-think, calm down and pause that we might miss the greatest chance to change our behaviour.  I wonder if during this TIME OUT, God might be wanting to teach us more about HIM. During this TIME OUT, wouldn't it be great, if we learned that in a world that is out of control, God is never out of control. In a world that is ever changing, God has never changed, and his commandments in Deuteronomy 6 are now more relevant and doable that ever before. 

When my kids did not change their behaviour when they left their rooms, they went straight back in. Even if they didn't like it or agree, they knew they had to make changes for the better if they wanted the chance to get out and do what they wanted to do. I hope we learn from this what God is wanting to teach us. That we bring the ‘best of us’ out of our rooms and live in a way that shows that we do love the Lord our God with our whole heart and with all we have got. And that is all He is asking of us, because I believe He can really use that to make a difference in this broken world.

I HOPE that when we are able to finally come out of our rooms that we don't go back to the old behaviours and what we thought was important. I HOPE that we rise to be better people, a better generation, a stronger world; a world where we value all people, we treat all people equally and we care for the least of these, whenever we get the chance.

Deuteronomy 6:1-5 MSG

“This is the commandment, the rules and regulations, that God, your God, commanded me to teach you to live out in the land you’re about to cross into to possess. This is so that you’ll live in deep reverence before God lifelong, observing all his rules and regulations that I’m commanding you, you and your children and your grandchildren, living good long lives.

Listen obediently, Israel. Do what you’re told so that you’ll have a good life, a life of abundance and bounty, just as God promised, in a land abounding in milk and honey.

God, our God! God the one and only!

Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got!”

            

The Church is calibrated for a world that doesn't exist.

On March 7^th, 2020 Jake Mulder said, “The church is calibrated for a world that doesn’t exist”.  On that day I sat in an auditorium of 900+ people. I knew at the time it was a profound statement for the church, as it must be willing to consider how broken it has been to speak to the world it finds itself in. But none of us at the time knew how prophetic it would be, that within days of him speaking we would no longer be able to meet in groups of more than 100 inside and then a week later, no-one is able to meet face to face at all. 

The world is in shutdown and it is not just the church that is calibrated for the world that no longer exists. 

The church is now scrambling along with everyone else in the world to know how to function, and rightly so. 

These are profound times. “Unprecedented” is the word I continue to hear. Everyone has a voice, a special announcement, an opinion, a way forward. Almost every sector of the world must re-think how we must do life as we now live in a world we are not calibrated for! The church must also do the same. 

The mandate has never changed. It seems to me that the call is still to “love God and love our neighbor as ourselves”. And maybe because we have created lots of NEW ways to 'do' Church with all the right intentions, we NOW find ourselves scrambling to 'undo' all our structures to simply abide by new rules while still trying to maintain a “calibration” that maybe should have never existed in the first place. 

I want to say in the words of our Australian prime minster “stop it”.

Now is the time to go back to the original design, the simplicity of meeting together … ‘where two or three are gathered I am there in the midst’. It is clear for a while that will have to start with Households. To love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as you love yourself. Never in a long time in history have we truly had the opportunity to simply live this out in a way that I believe may truly fulfill the great commission, help save lives, help people not feel so alone, and help bring peace and hope to a panicked world. 

Don’t miss this opportunity to change and re-think and recalibrate in a time when we HAVE to change. Let’s get it right this time. Let’s ask the right questions and not just think short term, but long term. Let’s not panic and react but deeply seek Him and what He is teaching us about how we are to respond. 

In these times of re-thinking everything, Jake Mulder said something else that day that struck me. So often when we have to make changes, we approach it by the quick fix rather than considering the long-term gains. It seems this is the biggest discord among all Australians about how to flatten the curve of the corona virus. There are short term and long-term decisions that are constantly being weighed up against each other as World Leaders do their best to lead in this difficult time. I am not making any judgement about how and what they should be doing. I respect the difficult position they are in. But when it comes to being a leader in the Church, that’s the space I am called to consider how to move forward. 

Jake described this as needing to decide between “lollies and chips” vs “Vegetables”. How many might choose “lollies and chips” over eating vegetables if we had to decide what we wanted to eat at a Saturday night party night. It’s the quick fix, the sugar rush, the thing that gets us through a tough spot, the thing that in the short term fills the gap and feels good at the same time. Although as leaders we have been thrown into needing to “think quick” in the past weeks, when we catch our breath, we need to think more long term and we know that the better thing to eat long term is vegetables. For many they are not as palatable and as easy to prepare and need more thought, but in the long term they are better for us and set us up for health long term. 

The Quick fix has been to do everything online. The world has been set up for years with every online resource you can imagine. Teaching is accessible on any topic by the best communicators in the kingdom. The quick fix is there and yet pastors of all ages have spent these last weeks trying to get studios set up and record services for this Sunday. I have heard people say for years that the ‘Online” world is so dangerous, and now it may just be our savior.

BUT I believe it could also STILL be our greatest hindrance. It is not about the resource but how we use it. In the immediate, where physical isolation is important to flatten the curve, of course access what the church already has. But let’s not forget the Body of Christ and how each part has an important part to play. Why do we think unless your community hears the PASTORS voice it is not “Ok”. There is so much wisdom in the Kingdom; Prophets and Pastors all vying for their voice to be heard in this space. Let’s share the best voices of this time with the Kingdom all over the world and then pastors, let’s spend our time thinking through the “vegetables” - the long term. In 6-12 months from now where do we want to be?  If it is still online and waiting for the next podcast we are in more trouble than ever. 

As we ponder what the church should look like, let’s not JUST answer this question for the short term, to get us out of this hotspot, and do the quick fix with the view to return to how we have done things in the past as quickly as possible. Let’s consider the long term and how God might want to re-shape the future for the long term, to be much healthier faith communities, to fulfill the great commission in 6-8 months from here, and beyond, with what He wants us to start now. 

There has never been a better time to be a good neighbor. 

There has never been a better time to take the time to get to know our God more deeply and find peace, love and grace in the midst of confusion. 

There has never been a better time to simplify what it means to truly do life together. 

There has never been a better time to be with those you love and care for each other well, to listen, to provide basic things like milk and bread. 

There has never been a better time to choose wisely what you will spend your time doing, now that many things are no longer possible. 

There has never been a better time to recalibrate what is really important in your life, what you need and don’t need. 

There has never been a better time to be a good citizen. 

There has never been a better time to lead by example.

 There has never been a better time to bring peace to a hurting world. 

There has never been a better time to be empathetic and other-centered.

It is time for the church of God to become re-calibrated for the world that exists now, and to rediscover that God has given us the tools and models all along. Its simply time to put them into practice.

Hope in a Time of Despair

Amidst a pandemic health problem that is real and threatening it imperative that we need to “socially isolate” from each other. This for some is exciting, and for some scary. All the extroverts are thinking OMG how will I survive, Introverts are saying “yay”, but over time everyone will feel the strain of all that it will mean.  

I must say at first, I was tempted to put my head down and hibernate for while. It suited me just fine.  And probably “like a sabbath”, that many like me are not good at taking, for a time it might be just what everyone needs. But it didn't take me long before the guilt of “ease and comfort” set in and I realised this might be just the time when God is calling us to rise up. I mean, what would the world say about Christians during this time if all they saw is that we were hiding in our houses, keeping to ourselves?

“The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers into his harvest”  

(Matthew 9:37-38)

Never before in my life, have I had a chance to help my neighbour as I have this week, to connect with people who have been otherwise too busy and share feelings and listen to each other.  The faith community I am a part of, that I would say is pretty connected usually, has been more connected that ever before. 

With Messenger, Facebook, Text, Phone calls, there is sharing going on everywhere. We had a ZOOM prayer and worship morning this Sunday morning. The young people stayed on an hour after we finished just to talk to each other. And one of our community who now lives in Paris, France, was able to join us for the first time in 6 months. 

A few days before that we had a practice for those new to ZOOM to get on and make sure everything was working. What a laugh. People were so funny, all trying to talk to each other at the same time, while some people were trying to do funny things, the young people chatting on the side, the oldies trying to get their camera focused. As we all share what God is challenging and comforting us with, we are all hearing God’s heart and word from all different people. Every person has the chance to make someone else's day. And this is not happening just on Sundays, it is happening every day of the week.

We have also found that our outward/missional expression has increased tenfold. In the past week, as a community, we have created a “Love and Care for each other” notice board and people are pitching in to create baskets for shut ins and struggling families. We have worked out how we can get FREE food parcels to families. We have created a “card” that people can fill out and drop in neighbours’ boxes to offer help. We have considered starting to write “old fashioned” letters to people and create a pen pal system. Young people have helped older people hook up ZOOM and Messenger. Our people are putting together “craft kits” for kids, Easter hampers for others. Some are making cards and others are just enjoying a lot more time to chat. 

People we haven’t heard from in ages are now connecting back in and appreciating the community. And every day offers a chance to make someone’s day. For the numbers of shopkeepers and workers who have been yelled at each day, it doesn’t take much to counteract that with a smile and a thank you.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  

Hebrews 10-20-25

All this to say that if we have eyes to see, and ears to hear, now is the time to bring “Hope” in a time of despair, to walk together more deeply and make sure people don't feel alone.

Let’s share the stories of what is possible, because now more than ever, every little bit helps.

Are our Churches/Children just “seedless watermelons”?

I have always been fascinated with trees. They are so beautiful and majestic.  Each country has its  own unique trees and Jamaica is no exception.

I was stopped by an impressive tree. It was large and strong, the roots were clearly deep as well as coming out in all directions. There was a smaller plant right beside it, being shadowed by it and growing up healthy and strong beside it. The large tree had beautiful reddish fruit on it, which I soon found out was a “Jamaican apple”. 

There are so many things I learn from trees and nature. God challenges me every time with new things. I was given the apple to eat and it was very different to an apple in Australia. It was soft and almost pear/peach like in texture, but it was white and fluffy. As I was enjoying the fruit, I noticed it had a large hard seed in the middle.

Psalm 1 says “but those whose delight is in the Law of the Lord, and who mediates on His Law day and night, that person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season.”

Leadership, parenting … these are challenging things. They require much delighting in God’s word and His truth to be able to yield fruit. How I long to yield fruit! As I ate the apple, being such a new experience, I loved the reminder of how nourishing fruit can be and how precious it is to be able to bear fruit for others to enjoy. How important it is that we as leaders and parents actually produce fruit that sustains others, that we focus on how we attract and sustain those we lead, and make sure our fruit is appetising enough that they want to eat it. Which is hard these days, as there are so many other options than a healthy piece of fruit, which are available all the time, not just in season.  You know how horrible it can be when you eat fruit that is out of season, and that just can’t compete with the many other sweet and now artificial options that our children and people would much rather eat than healthy and natural fruit. 

But this big large seed that I was left with, caught my attention. It was hard and strong and significant. Of course you can’t eat it, so we often throw it away after eating the fruit. Well, at least in the western world we do. So, as I was about to throw it away, I realised that this is such an important part of the fruit.  Without the seed, there is not new and sustaining life. The seed needs to be replanted for it to grow. 

It is one thing for me as a leader or parent to delight in the Lord so that I may grow and yield fruit, but if that fruit is not then taken, consumed and replanted, its enjoyment and value only lasts for moments. Very quickly we find we want more and more of the light fluffy flesh without understanding the fruit has a seed of replenishing life that is important to be replanted for life to continue. 

It made me consider in Western Society how much we love

the “Seedless Watermelon”, a recent human creation to make the fruit easy to consume. When we serve fruit platters we cut out all the seeds so it is all easily consumable and looking ascetically pleasing. I know I love mandarins, (which are small oranges), but I specifically look for the ones with no seeds because the number of seeds in a normal mandarin drives me crazy to eat. Our children today are growing up believing that Watermelons and Mandarins have no seeds. Sure, it is much easier to eat, but what does it say to our children? What does that subconsciously teach us all?

I wonder how many of our churches, our programs, our ministries are like “seedless fruit”? Tasty and attractive, but without seeds that get replanted into the souls and hearts that come, so that they might be able to grow and yield their own fruit?  How often are our churches centred around the leader’s spiritual strength, that might come from delighting in the Lord and His word and bearing fruit that is delicious to eat, but by the next week those that came last week are craving for more to sustain them another week? 

Francis Chan tells a story of a Mega Church pastor in Seoul. He asked “How can I get my people to leave and live by faith? He explained how he had become really proficient at gathering people together but his intention was to get them to disperse to share the Gospel and live by faith. But now they had grown comfortable and didn't want to leave” (F. Chan, “Letters to the Church”, p 153)

As parents, we can be so meticulous about cutting up bite sizes of fruit and taking out the seeds or much worse feeding them substitutes to healthy fruit all together and not actually giving them the seeds of what they actually need to grow up and bear their own fruit.  Please, know that I am not just talking about feeding our kids healthy fruit with seeds here. (Although that is important as well). 

Whatever space we are in as leaders or parents, let’s be careful that we are bearing fruit that comes with a seed of truth. 

   “A farmer went out to sow his seed” Mathew 13:3

A seed of truth that can be replanted and grow independent of us being there. We are called to plant the seed, and God will grow it, but if we are only giving out fluffy, sweet fruit with no seeds, we have missed the point of being planted deeply in God and the blessing that comes with it.  This is not about yielding a fruit for ourselves, or unto ourselves, or drawing people towards us. It is so that the seed of truth may not only prosper in us but also spread to the ends of the earth.  

I want to see my children grow and become bigger, stronger trees than I can ever be. I long to see those I am called to lead, go and plant their own trees and reproduce over and over again. But it must start with me and the question, “Am I bearing seedless fruit?”

The "Parent" Dance

In England, there is a famous “ritual” called the “Changing of

the guard”. It is a very clear signal of change. The old guard forms on the north side and the new guard forms on the south side, a royal salute signals the handing over of the old guard and the new guard. There is a sequence, everyone knows, there are no surprises, nothing unsure. The march is set and the change is clearly complete. It is full of intentionality, ceremony, celebration and pride. It is done with expertise, precision and it is very clear, the old guard is OFF and the new guard is ON.  People travel from all over the world to see it, but it is more than ceremony, it is fulfilling a very important job of protecting the monarchy of England. 

There are many times as a parent, that the duty is clear, the “march” is set out, the change is obvious. The times in life where your child starts school, moves from primary school to high school, when they can drive, from a legal perspective when they can drink alcohol, when they are legally able to go to a club, when they move from single to married. These are obvious signs of the “change”, the old has gone the new has come, things have changed. We (or maybe it is just me) like to live in the black and white zone … knowing what is right and wrong, what is a YES and NO, what has come and gone, where we stand, basically on everything. It is so much easier. 

And YET… parenting is more often than not, a DANCE, rather than the “Changing of the guard.” I can just see the comical portrayal of what the “Changing of the Guard” would look like as a dance; a back and forward, teetering from ‘yes’ to ‘no’ to ‘yes’ to ‘maybe’ to ‘are you sure’ to ‘YES’ to ‘rack off’ to ‘if I have to” to “no.” I probably lost most of you then, but that is the dance that goes on in my head as a parent of teenagers learning to become adults. 

The challenging, yet never boring “dance” of a parent who longs to walk alongside their child, empowering them to become an adult and yet never quite knowing which step to take at times, to lead them towards the end goal.  Never quite knowing when we are leading or following, coming or going, listening or speaking, stepping up or stepping out, and at any time a quick “change step” must happen, which often takes you by surprise.

I wonder what that looks like in your world?   For my world, it’s the time where she wants her independence shopping, until she wants me to go to the toilet with her, or when she wants me to pay for something. It’s the time when he wants to stay out late as long as he wants, until he needs a lift home and we are to drop everything and go and get him. The time when she can drive and have independence until she crashes and needs saving to get back on her feet again. The time where he moves out, until he gets stuck and needs to save more money so he wants to come back home. The time when you can’t touch her or say anything, until she snuggles into you or wants you to say she looks great, and you clearly didn't get the memo. We have all been there. Oh, the dance we dance, when “no” is not always “no” and “yes” is not always “yes” and more importantly when “no” is actually “yes”.

I have recently had the privilege of being intricately involved in the last week of a young woman getting married, the last night in the house before moving into her new house with her new husband, the many preparations of the ‘changing of the guard”, from single to married. And while the changes are clear, the ceremony is well rehearsed, there is pride, celebration and joy, yet it is not without the ‘dance’. It is an interesting place as a parent to say goodbye to your child to marriage, to understand that the rules have changed and to navigate the dance well.  I have watched this family up close. It has been a privileged and a blessing to get this glimpse, before I will dance this particular dance myself in the future. 

That last night in the house, the final signals that a change is about to happen, the joy and sadness all mixed in together. The look of confidence on the new bride as she has everything organised and ready, until one thing goes wrong and she looks at her mum with eyes that say “fix it”. The beauty of dad walking (marching) his little girl down the aisle to the new man in her life and the words she utters beforehand - “don't look at me and I won’t look at you” - for they know they will both be crying with deep emotions that will distract them from this moment. That first dance, as a new bride and groom, which signals the last dance for Daddy to dance with his little girl. Of course, she will always be his little girl, but on this day some things have defiantly changed. Even on this day, where the “changing of the guard” is clear, it’s still a “parent’s dance”, it is exhausting and not easy to do well. But when done well, like any dance, it is beautiful, graceful and a joy to watch.

For a parent, I am not sure if it ever stops. For me this dance has only begun in the last few years, so I am still learning how to navigate it well. But one thing I do know, it is worth it, learning to dance it well. The cost is too high, not to. I have seen too many times when relationships and connections are lost because parents could not dance the dance well. 

I think it helps to name it, talk about it and acknowledge the “dance”. It is a start anyway. It is great to learn and watch others who have gone before and know that even when we mess up the steps, we can still choose to dance again. While I have seen it first-hand recently, it has reminded me of how well my mother and father danced the dance and the strong foundation that has given me over the years. I am so thankful for them and what they have taught me. The challenge is to simply keep getting better at the dance, and that requires practice, practice and practice. So, stay in the dance and never give up. Your relationship with your children is worth it and the gift you give them is a strong foundation to dance their own dance in time.

Time......to honour a life well lived.

Time …you can’t slow it down, you can’t speed it up, you can't make it, you can’t get it back. There is a time where it matters and times that it really doesn't matter.

Time is fleeting and yet time can feel like it is never going to stop.

There are moments that you forget and there are moments that can never be taken away.

I will never forget the moment in time, 3 weeks ago when my husband walked into the house to tell me that my father had a motorcycle accident and had died instantly. There are times when you feel like you are in slow motion, when time does not feel real…when time doesn't make sense. There are moments for us when a time means that life will never be the same.

You can’t change time, but you can waste it.

I have always tried to live as if every moment matters and have never wanted to waste any of it.

I learned this from my dad.

Dad could achieve 10 hours worth of work in one hour. With his speed, his passion, his skill, he could make anything happen when it needed to and he did it in record time.

And yet when he was talking to someone, giving to someone, sharing something, helping someone, time was never an issue. He took the moments to listen, to impress, to share his views, to make you feel special.

It doesn't mean he didn't ever waste time. Oh, my gosh could he do that. Just try and go buy something with him and see how much time it took for him to make a decision. Every option must be explored, every possibility uncovered and then after thinking about it for a time he would finally buy it. But you knew it would be the best deal, the best option and the best saving of money around. And then he would say “that is never a waste of time”.

I am so thankful for all the time we had. Each time I saw him he would hug me and say, “love you real big”. His squeeze would almost hurt it was so strong, no-one will ever hug me like that again.

I am so thankful for all the times in “Shadrack”, his speedboat. My favourite place was sitting beside him in the front seat, the motor so loud that we couldn't talk, but he would smile at me, wink and rub my leg and I knew there was no greater place on earth. He would drive that boat and take people skiing all day if he could, as long as he could stop for a cup of tea every now and then.

I am so thankful for the times when I would come to him and explain a crazy idea. His first response was to take the time to tell me all the ways it would not work and then he would make it a reality. I don't know who will help me make my crazy ideas a reality now he is gone.

I am thankful that he would never let a time go by to speak his mind. I was always amazed how he could be so cranky, politically incorrect and many times rude, yet still people loved him wherever he went and remembered the things that he said to them. I know how he felt about me, what he thought all the time. I will never be left wondering.

I am so thankful that, as hard-nosed as he could be, if you stuck with him you quickly learned that he was also the biggest softy out. As children we will never forget the times we would all watch “Little House on the Prairie” and as each episode ended, my brother and I would look at Dad and wait for the tears to roll down his cheeks… and then we would laugh at him.

I am so thankful that in the lowest time in my life, he was the one who dropped everything to be there, hold me, cry with me and tell me that everything was going to be alright and I always felt if he was there it would be okay.

I am thankful that even though he could have simply showered his grandchildren with things, he always chose TIME over things, and always spent quality time and quantity time with each of them. My kids will carry those memories, experiences and words with them wherever they go.

I am so thankful that for the past 12 years in particular, we have truly done life together in a faith community, where we worshiped, learned, laughed, gave and served together side by side. I was proud to share my father with so many children at SCKC (a camp for children of neglect), for whom he was their “poppy”.

I am so thankful that he lived out his faith.  Every day for him was a TIME to live out what he believed. Colossians 3:6-7 describes the faithfulness of my dad.

 “You received Christ, the master: now live HIM. You’re deeply rooted in him, You're well constructed upon him, you know your way around the faith. Now do what you have been taught and start living it…and let your living spill over into thanksgiving”

Such was the faith of my father.

Although this time for him on this earth has passed, I don't regret one moment of it.

There are some people that time cannot contain, there are some people like my dad where there is simply not enough time to share all the funny, inspiring, challenging ways that he impacted my life.

As I am my father’s daughter I never want to miss a TIME to say…time is precious, don’t waste time, live it to the full and live without regrets, take the time to let those you love know it.

Thank you Dad, for all the TIME you gave me and what you have taught me about how to use my TIME. I miss you every day and think about you all the TIME and I will endeavour to not waste a moment of time until we are together again.