Wilson has slowed me down

Driving an 8 metre long and 4.2 meter high van has slowed me down. Like a tortoise, it is like I am literally carrying my whole house on my back and carting it around has slowed me down. I don’t think I have ever driven so slowly and actually enjoyed it.  I get why turtles move so slowly, the load they carry doesn’t allow for quick turns, or quick changes or it might topple them over completely. I am sure that it is not true for a turtle, but It is certainly true for ‘Wilson’.  I have named my van ‘Wilson’, inspired by the movie castaway where Tom Hanks found a ball, and it became his friend and confidante while feeling very alone stuck on the Island. I know I am anything but alone on an Island, as Australia, even though an Island, is anything but lonely, and I am only a text away from so many that I love.  But in other ways I am alone on this journey and relying on “Wilson” for safety, reliability, shelter, and a place to call home. These are very important to me. 

 

He is all those things I said above, but Wilson has done something else for me that was unexpected. He has slowed me down.  I am now that person you get stuck behind, winding through the bends and wishing this big van in front of you would get out of the way or let you pass. It concerned me for a while, worried about frustrating people, but I quickly got over it, when to go any faster meant I could go over the edge or have a dangerous accident.  I simply find a place where I can pull over and let them pass and then toddle off on my merry way again. I am happy to let them pass, happy to go slower and happy to not be in a hurry. I have never believed In being busy, but this is a whole new level of “slow.” 

 

Normally I would get in a car for the express purpose of getting to a destination.  I would leave just the right amount of time to get there and get frustrated when the traffic messes up my time.  I have done a lot of travel in my life, but still there has been an element of having to be somewhere by a certain time. This trip seems very different. I have never driven such a big van before. Being on the road for 4 months in discovery mode means I am not running at the pace I used to.  I am enjoying immensely being able to watch the world go by and actually stop whenever I want to ponder and enjoy what I am seeing. It is a carefree feeling simply to meander along the road and be present in the moment.  I think the saying is to “stop and smell the roses”, but for me I am more likely to photograph it rather than smell it.

 

I have had a plaque in my house for a long time which says, “It is not about the destination, but the journey”. I love it and thought I lived by it. But I was kidding myself. I realise now, it has always been about the destination for me.  It has taken a season where I have no clear destination to realise that I really need to live IN the journey. As I travel each day, it doesn’t really matter where I end up, and guess what, for all you driven people like me, it is ok. At least one thing is true, I have always believed, ‘experience gives transformation to head knowledge’. Where in the past I might have head knowledge that the journey is important, I now have an experience that has transformed my understanding of that phrase.

 

There have also been many times when there is nothing to see, photograph or smell along the journey. Times when you simply have to travel the road, because it is the only way through to the next space. Nothing to see or enjoy, but there is learning there also. It is about learning patience and trust and faith.

“Faith gives thank in the middle of the story” (Ann Voscamp), even when you don’t know where the destination is taking you. 

 

It has been a lovely change of focus that has brought new life to someone who has probably being carrying a different kind of weight for a long time. It has been nice to lay that down for a while and pick another kind of load. It is just me and ‘Wilson’ for the next 4 months, but the challenge will be to not lose enjoying the journey when I get to the next chapter back home. 

 

It doesn’t mean that having a destination is wrong, in fact it is important for a lot of life, but never at the expense of the journey. Oh, the things I have missed in life, by being too focused on the destination.  I repent of that, Lord, and am reminded of the Rhythm of Jesus who had a clear destination.  But He never seemed to lose focus on the journey and all that He could give, enjoy and invest in every day He lived and served during His short time here on earth. 

 

I wonder if you need to enjoy the journey more? I wonder what it might take to slow you down?  To stop and smell the roses, as they say or simply to learn to trust more.  To understand the transformative journey of every day that God is more interested in all of us taking as we head towards an eternal destination with Him.