Rocking the Foundations

 

I have lived in the same house for over 20 years. Over the years we had noticed that there were cracks and movement occurring in the walls and floors.  It was subtle and happening very slowly over the years. Just recently we looked again and were shocked at how big the cracks and drop in the floor had become without us even noticing. We sought professional advice and were told that if we didn't get this fixed, our house would have some serious problems in the near future and would certainly become very hard to re-sell. The footings had moved. Although we thought they were built on solid rock, over time through the rain, storms and the weathering of life the footings were slowly sinking, and the house was cracking as a result. The extensions we put on a number of years ago didn't help and added to the strain on the footings. 

 It is common with houses over time. It was time to do something about it. We feared the worst. We knew there would be a cost, but with a few new beams and cement, that house could very quickly become strong and secure again. 

 

Last week the builders came and while I was in the kitchen, the work they were doing under me felt like the whole house was going to fall. I literally felt like I was rising, as they propped the floor back up beneath me. It was loud and scary and very intrusive. I went to my upper room to escape the noise and movement, to find a bit of peace.  I know the work needed to happen. I trusted that it was going to fix things. I simply had to wait it out.

At the end of the day, I came back into the kitchen where the original cracks and holes had

been fixed. BUT to my shock and horror, the movement back into place, had caused more cracks than ever before in new places. Doors no longer closed and some I couldn't open. There was even one wall that had busted open and the gyproc had separated from the wooden beams.  I suppose it made sense, that when work is done to move things back into place to fix the cracks that had formed, that this movement would mean a stretching and movement of another kind. The builder assured us that it was just cosmetic and that these cracks could be easily fixed.

 

 I felt like I was right in the middle of a parable, experiencing the reality that at times our footings need readjusting and if we are brave enough to count the cost and choose to come back to the Rock, He will secure our footings again. There will be cracks revealed, there will be scars that are cosmetic, but they can be fixed.

 

I chose many years ago to live my life with my foundations built on God, my rock. He hasn’t moved, but over time, while building more and navigating the strains of life, it has meant slight movement on my behalf. As I constantly come back to my foundations and secure myself into Him, He will prop me up, build me up, fix the cracks, but not without a cost. 

 

This year, 2020, is a year that has rocked me to my very foundations. What I thought was secure and strong, has crumbled. “But unexpected weaknesses, failure, and humiliation force us to go where we never would otherwise. We must stumble and be brought to our knees by reality. “God comes to you disguised as your life”^[1]

 

God’s foundational truth presses in and challenges me to consider what I can choose when the cracks appear. Isaiah 8:13-17(MSG)

“If you’re going to worry, worry about The Holy. 

Fear God-of-the-Angel-Armies.

The Holy can be either a Hiding Place

    or a Boulder blocking your way,

The Rock standing in the willful way

    of both houses of Israel…

Many of them are going to run into that Rock

    and get their bones broken,

Get tangled up in that barbed wire

    and not get free of it.

Gather up the testimony,

    preserve the teaching for my followers,

While I wait for God as long as he remains in hiding,

 while I wait and hope for him.

I stand my ground and hope.”

 

I can choose to be broken by what 2020 has thrown at me or I can choose to wait on the Lord and put my trust in Him. I can see the new scars and cracks as fixable and something I can grow through or I can allow them to keep me in my humiliation and failure and sadness of what will never be again. The movement that occurred is a part of life, a consequence of choices and in this instance was very much of out of my control. The recalibration and fixing have been necessary. I cannot go back and I don't want to. So, what remains when we find ourselves broken is simply a choice. To get tangled up in the barbed wire and broken bones OR to stand my ground and HOPE.  I believe HOPE has been watching over me and has never left me, but I felt times when I have let go of it. Fear, panic, loss and pain can do that. We can see it as a boulder blocking the way or a hiding place. COVID has allowed me to hide at times, but it will not remain a boulder blocking the way. I choose to wait in HIM, stand my ground and HOPE. 

 

Just like the cracks in my house are literally are being restored and smoothed over this week and the floor I walk on is like floating on air because it has been restored, I stand in a living parable and claim it over my life and future. 

 

A song from Amy Grant that I loved many years ago continues to come back to me during this time...

                                      “Now when the house is dark

                                         And you’re all alone inside

                                    You’ve gotta listen to your heart

                                    And put away your foolish pride

                                      Though the storm is breaking

                                      And thunder shakes the walls

                                        Love with a firm foundation

                                           Ain’t never gonna fall”^[2]

                               

 

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^[1] R.Rohr, “Order, Disorder, reorder: part two: It must happen to us”, quoting Paula D’Arcy, Monday, August 17th, 2020.

^[2]Amy Grant, “House of love”, 2009