The Vietnam Way

If you have ever been to Vietnam you will know that crossing the road is an adventure and a confidence builder. Basically the rule is, step out and just keep walking, wave your hand a little, but don't stop... the cars, bikes, trucks, food vans and pedestrians work on the rule of “Yield and forgive.”

It means that if you walk out in front of someone, they will yield, forgive that you got in their way and simply go around you. There is something very invigorating stepping out in front of 3-4 cars coming directly towards you and as you keep walking and watch them all go around you in all different directions. If you stop or step back or hesitate, you mess up the flow and then you cause a crash...

Even if you do crash, they still work on the basis and Yield and forgive, and generally if there is not too much damage, just keep on going. I am sure that it doesn't always work, but it was fascinating to watch what would have meant a serious traffic jam with no one moving in Australia. In Vietnam it all just keeps moving. It is especially great when you are wanting to turn in from a side street and join the traffic. In Australia you would be waiting all day for a break in the traffic. In Vietnam you just drive on into the traffic and everyone drives around you. It is funny there are traffic lights that generally keep order on the roads, but often they are described as “a suggestion.”

I was only there for 10 days, but it was quite interesting how quickly you get used to it. The first day I got home to Australia, I drove to the shops, went around the roundabout, thinking I had plenty of time to cut in before the car coming around would reach me, but I was met with a horn blast and some very choice words...clearly I thought he would just slow down and let me in.

It works in Vietnam because everyone lives by the same rules...Yield and forgive...It doesn't work when everyone is not willing to “yield and forgive”...OOPS ... I quickly was reminded that I was back in Australia.  The rules are different here and it sometimes feels more like “get out of my way or I will let you know how I feel about it”...I mean, seriously, there was plenty of time for me to come into the roundabout before him!

Anyway, we had a family meeting not long after that and I was talking about how we would live together in one house as a family this year. It is a good thing to do each year as so much changes from year to year.  It made me think it was a great way to live...being other-centred that allowed for “Yielding and forgiving”, working around each other, forgiving quickly when we get in each others way, empowering each other to stay on track and encouraging each other, building confidence as each person steps out, knowing we will support that, not get in each others way. Knowing we don't have to stop all the time and command our own space and especially not “honking” at each other because things are not always going our own way.  Of course there needs to be rules and guidelines and maybe they need to be more than a “suggestion”, but even when rules are broken, living in such a way where we “yield and forgive”, like the grace that God gives us when His rules are broken. It is definitely a better way to live, is it not? 

Imagine what life would be like if we lived this way in everything.  I can’t explain it but in Vietnam, it was freeing, it built my confidence, I felt empowered and it was exciting. I know that under God’s grace and forgiveness I feel the same, and to live that out towards others is surely the way we are called to live.

Of course it only works when we all live the same way. As soon as someone breaks that rhythm ... crashes happen. And in families or households (close quarters) it happens all the time.

The question is how should we respond, “blame or punishment” or “yield and forgive.” It certainly started some good conversation in our family that day and although it sounded like a such a great idea, it has become very challenging to live it out in our family daily. How about yours?