To be intentional
simply means to be done with intention or on purpose. The
irony is that whether we realise it or not, what we spend our time and money on,
what we always talk about, what consumes our thoughts, actually shows us what
is important in our lives. We will find the time, money and energy doing what
we WANT to do and be very INTENT on seeing that it happens. SO, when parents
say they just don’t have the time, money or energy they would like to have to
be intentional with their kids, maybe it is an opportunity to stop and think …
“what am I intentional about?”
I
believe this is one of the very powerful “tools” to use when parenting with the
end in mind. When we know what goal we are heading towards as we parent, then
the tool of intentionally is key.
A website worth looking at is called
“Intentional Parents.” They have as their opening statement, “The average
parents follow the crowd. Intentional parents follow the goal.” It is so true.
As my husband and I have tried to be
intentional parents for the past 18 years, we know we have fallen short many
times, but we have not given up and will continue with INTENT and PURPOSE to do
the best we can to help our kids hit their goals and most importantly God’s
goals for them. We believe that we as parent have been called to do as much as
we can to be INTENTIONAL in 4 areas. We aim to be intentional daily, weekly, on
special occasions and in those once in a lifetime moments. And having a goal,
an end in mind, has helped us to be Intentional in all these areas.
This started for us before the children were
born and it has not stopped on a daily basis for the past 18 years. I’m not
sure if it ever stops, it just keeps changing what is required from us to walk with the kids we have been blessed
to parent.
SO what does that mean in practical
terms?
- DAILY ………over the year that has meant things like … prayers at night with the kids when they were young, reading stories that become favourites, being open to the God conversations that can happen at any time, meal times together where we say grace and share the “best part of your day.” I used to sing Georgia a song I wrote her as a lullaby as she went to bed.
- WEEKLY – over the years that has meant things like ... technology FREE family night, serving together regularly in ministry, jobs around the house, a special squeeze or shake that is between you and your child, a crazy song that my husband and daughter sing on Friday night because it is the weekend, and many conversations in the kitchen with all of us sitting on the benches.
SPECIAL OCCASIONS – over the years that has meant things like ... key holidays/road trips
where we read a book of the Bible a chapter each day and discussed it, dates of
one parent and a child doing something special together, yearly family mission
trips to Cambodia, creating traditions at Christmas like cutting down a real
Christmas tree and decorating while listening to Mariah Carey, watching the
“The Passion” at Easter together, camping and water skiing every summer
holidays, birthday mornings where the
kids jump onto Mum and Dad’s bed.
- ONCE IN A LIFETIME – over the years that has meant things like ...Time capsule at 1 year of age to be opened at 18, celebrating starting School with a fun meal, a year of empowerment at the age 13 where key older spiritual people speak into our children’s lives culminating with a celebration of them and a gift symbolizing them moving into adulthood, offering an alternative to schoolies where they can go on a special trip with a parent to conquer a challenging walk, family spiritual journey to go to Israel to walk where Jesus walked and to be Baptised in the Jordan river.
If you are INTENTIONAL and PURPOSEFUL about
it you might be amazed how God can use this to create a solid foundation for
your kids to walk into the rest of their lives.
Of course there are no guarantees, it has to be their journey, but
INTENTIONAL parenting is what we are called to do at the very least.
Here are some other ideas which a small group
of parents brainstormed together as we gathered to INTENTIONALLY talk about how
to parent with the end in mind.
DAILY :
·
Kisses
and Hugs
·
Meals
together daily
·
Morning
Devotions
·
Pet
names
·
Pray
before the walk to school
·
Nightly
Blessing
·
Debrief
from the day over dinner
·
Play
board games/puzzles with young children
·
Massage
/ Shoulder rub
|
WEEKLY
·
Homework
@ the bench
·
Taco
Tuesday
·
Kids
choose what we have for dinner
·
Park /
Beach outing
·
Saturday
night board game
·
Pyjama
Day
·
Tea
party Tuesday
·
Friday
night movie night/ dinner in
front of the TV
·
Dinner
and movie night OUT
·
BBQ
Breakfast
·
Prayer
for our sponsor child
·
Pancakes
Saturday morning
·
Friday
night sport watching
|
SPECIAL OCCASIONS
·
Family
camp/weekend away
·
Cooking
together
·
Lunch
together to celebrate end of school year
·
Annual
extended family holiday
·
“You’re
a star” plate to celebrate achievement
·
Theme
park adventure once a year
·
Pizza @
the lighthouse on the shortest or longest day
·
BIG
family Christmas
·
Scrapbook
memories / celebrate milestones
·
School
rewards – coffee/hot chocolate after school
·
Pupil
free days – make them special days with the family.
·
Special
Dinner on report night
·
Birthday
treasure hunts
·
Homemade
advent calendars at Christmas
·
Passover
with friends and family (food, candles etc)
·
Eat
whatever you want on your birthday
·
Favourite
dinner on birthday
·
Night
before Christmas – read a particular story
·
Christmas
light hunting around the streets
·
Camping
family recipes
·
Road
Trips
|
ONCE IN A LIFETIME
·
Celebrate
Milestones with friends and mentors
·
Coming
of age holiday with parent of choice
·
Do a
challenging hike with each child at a
certain age
·
Dinner
out with Mum or Dad to celebrate
first great school report
·
Coming
of age for daughter – pamper
night with Mum and Grandma
·
Shared
experience eg. Back to parent’s
home country, Israel – walk where Jesus walked, special place for parents to share with kids, a place everyone has wanted to go.
·
Take you
first drive on “L”’s
·
1st Bike
– celebrate it
·
Special
holiday with someone close e.g. Grandparent.
·
Road
trip when they get their “L”s
·
Finishing
school celebration with family
·
Big
weekend away @ 10 – special time to
talk about puberty
·
Letters
from extended family
·
Celebrate
engagement and marriage well
·
Climb a
mountain and pray together at the top.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment