What are we passing on - fear of faith?

Recently, at a women's retreat I took a group of girls for a walk to a stunning lookout.   The walk was through bush, over logs and pushing through scrub at times. It was a bit of an adventure but worth it in the end for the spectacular view of the beautiful national park rolling down to the sea. I noticed during the walk one young girl in particular was struggling with it all, as this was clearly the first time she had had to "rough" it a bit.  To her credit she pushed through as we all encouraged her and we eventually got to the lookout.  It is very high and granted the railings are falling apart; but standing on the rocks, back from the edge, is exhilarating and exciting.

I understand that many suffer from the fear of heights but this is not something that I personally struggle with, so while still holding the girls’ hands I showed them the beautiful view and they loved it.  The young girl who had struggled at first went home to her mum and shared how much she loved the walk that I had taken them on.  She talked to her mum so much about it that her mother asked me to take her to the lookout too, which I was more than happy to do.  This time, I noticed that the young girl was quite courageous and adventurous as she led the way to the lookout.  

Once we got to the lookout I held some other children's hands and led them to a place on the rocks where the view is wide and open and the most stunning. As we were admiring the view, I noticed that the young girl and her mother were not with us. I turned to find them over in the corner and the young girl had a shivering look of fear on her face. I called out to ask if anything was wrong and the mother said, "We are ok here, I am too afraid to come any closer!"  Where they were standing the view was obscured and they really couldn't see a lot.  I saw a child who only minutes earlier had been eagerly enjoying the journey, quickly change having been told that it was too dangerous.  As a result "fear" was all over her face. When I tried to encourage them to trust me and come to the place where they could see better, the young girl looked as if she wanted to but was stopped by her mother.

I initially felt a little guilty that I had done something wrong the day before in not even thinking about how this mother might have felt about me taking her daughter to the edge of a cliff. But then I felt sad as I watched the fear on both their faces and realised that what was fear today; in a different environment yesterday, was an adventurous, exciting experience for the young girl.  

I saw the sudden physical, psychological and emotional change in a child with just one statement from her mother, paralysing her from moving forward.  Whereas the previous day, only one word of encouragement had helped her to push through and gain the full experience.

As I said, I clearly don't have a fear of heights, so I don't understand the feeling of not wanting to go the edge and see the awesome view but it did make me stop and think about what fears I do have and whether or not I impose them onto my children, depriving them of their own experiences and adventures.   I realised how affected our children are by how we respond to any given situation.  We are either adults who empower or adults who stifle.   Like the mother in this situation it is usually not deliberate or with the desire to harm our children, rather more often it is out of the desire to protect. 

We left that lookout with the mother never really seeing the full view and often it is our fear that stops us from seeing all that God wants to show us.  The step of faith leads us into places that are not always comfortable or that require risk, but this is the road He calls us to walk.  Fear has the power to stop this, which is why God talks about fear a lot.

"Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to

 fear for I'm your God. 

I'll give you strength. 

I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, 

keep a firm grip on you" 

(Is 41:10, The Message)

“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, 

grave-tending

life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a 

childlike "What's next, Papa?" 

(Romans 8:15, The Message)

What are we passing on to our children - fear or faith?  Do we need to trust God more and let our children go so that they might even teach us things and lead us into adventures and experiences?  What fears stifle us from all that God wants to show us?  As a parent how can we ensure that we empower our kids in their journey by modelling a life of faith not fear?