To live out loud, walk tall, breathe free

We set of for a weekend of camping with dear friends for a lovely “Father’s Day weekend” and there would be many that might of viewed it as the weekend from hell. We set off and got caught in deep conversations and missed the turn off to Newcastle, which sent us into the city before we could get back onto the right road to head north. But that was fine by us because we were happy to be away together and we were to busy chatting and laughing to watch where we were going.

We arrived later than expected and had 50 minutes to set up before it got dark. One of the teenagers opened the car boot and two boxes of stuff feel out and smashed all over the ground. We all laughed...The boys went to put their tent up and they had no poles.... they smirked and decided to sleep in the car. Deep down I think they were happy not to have to set up a tent at all. The other family brought one chair...luckily we brought 5, we forgot a table to cook on, luckily they brought a large one for us all to share.

 

We got the main tents up; just in time to watch the sunset, then to discover that the light we brought didn’t work and the light the other family brought was nearly out of batteries with no charger.... we laughed. But by this time, a nice cup of tea would have helped. We set up our primus to find it would not work either and the other family didn’t bring anything to cook on because they were going to use the camp kitchen at the camping ground that we just discovered we should have got the key before office hours closed.  So we would have to wait till tomorrow to use the kitchen. The other father is a chef, but he didn’t bring a sharp knife, luckily I brought two. What can you do but laugh. We did have power...but nothing much to plug into it!

The men decided to go out to the beach and find a communal BBQ to cook the meat and we made some salads by a torchlight that we knew would go out at any time. We did find one torch that could be charged so it sat charging waiting for its turn to light our space.

The boys came back and we had just finished eating and the lights went out...so candle light it would be, which set a lovely mood, we sat and chatted and laughed together. The stars were so beautiful that night, there was no wind and the candlelight was peaceful. The teens wanted to play silly “rhyming games”, the conversation was loud and the laughter was real.

The forecast was for rain all weekend so we were ready for it with a waterproof tarp over the communal eating area.  When we got up in the morning the sun was shining...so we were all excited, but we really wanted a cup of tea. We had to wait till 8.15 am to get the key, so my girlfriend decided to go knocking on caravan doors and find a jug to boil some water. She was successful, as I went to get the key to the camp kitchen, she made us all a cup of tea and then she went to give the jug back.  The chef decided to get everything ready for us to go and cook a BBQ breakfast and in his excitement, he knocked over her cup of tea. It went everywhere...through the eskies, all over the table and the breakfast ingredients...She got back and we were all laughing as we drank our cup of tea and she had none.

In all this time I can honestly say that there was no tension, mean conversations, yelling or crying. Two couples with two teenage kids each, 8 of us were simply happy to be there, together, relaxing.... no rain, sun shining, the sounds of surf in the background and two days to do nothing but relax and be together.

I am sure this should/ could be a reminder of the importance of being prepared. I know that much of what was happening didn’t need to, if we had been better prepared. But what struck me on this weekend was that it didn’t seem to matter. I loved to watch the teenagers going with the flow, problem solving on the spot with us as adults and quite frankly being quite happy without.

The day was perfect and relaxing and as night fell so did the, as promised rain. I actually love being in a tent in the rain. It feels so snugly and with the chef and his snoring next door...the rain meant that we couldn’t even hear him.  So all was well…until the rain started to drip on our head.... 2am in the morning.... the sprinkles began. The flood was coming into the front of the tent, the seams over our bed were too old to handle the heavy rain and no matter where we moved the bed to escape from the rain it found us. My husband dammed the front door, we stacked everything on top of each other to prevent as much as we could from getting really wet...put the doona over our heads to mask the drips and waited it out till morning. What else could we do? We couldn’t escape to the car; the boys were lovely and dry in there.  We couldn’t escape to the other car; the chefs’ wife was in there to escape the snoring. . Oh well, “Happy Father’s Day”.... I say! We smiled at each other and tried to get a little more sleep.

The sun rose and there was a break in the weather enough to give the men their presents, for the kids to go and cook a beautiful breakfast for us all, as we madly pulled down our dripping wet tent and threw it into the trailer. We got most things packed, before it bucketed down again. We left it all there and went and had a lovely breakfast...why not!

“Happy father’s day weekend” wasn’t quite as we planned, maybe that’s because we should have done more planning.... or maybe it really didn’t matter?

When you are with the people you love, when you don’t have an agenda, but to be together, maybe then the adventure of whatever happens is actually the fun bit! It was quality time with my family, in close quarters and not much else to distract us from being together. It was a chance to be in nature, in God’s creation, where walking, swimming and discovering is all we needed/wanted to do. The kids were saying, “Do we have to leave?” I know the feeling...life is way to full and hectic. When you get the chance to NOT plan and just GO with the flow, for me it was actually refreshing. I think that was why no one was worried about all the things that we didn’t have

Brian Mclaren says it better than I ever can:

.              “What we all want is pretty simple really. We want to be alive. To feel alive. Not just to exist but to thrive, to live out loud, walk tall, breathe free. We want to be less lonely, less exhausted, less conflicted or afraid, more awake, more grateful, more energised and purposeful.”(We make the road by walking, B. Mclaren, pg xiv, 2014.

Living is a risky buisness

Life is risky...you need to know
how and where you are going to land

When flying in a plane you don't leave the ground without it being very clear what you need to do in the event of an emergency.  If you think about it, hundreds of people sit and listen to the stewards explain the worst possible scenario - falling from the sky and crashing, most probably dying. During this time no one objects to such a negative way to start a trip. No one questions if this is not the best way to keep customers. No one complains and refuses to listen (only those who have heard it so many times they just block it out). Most people who fly understand the risks yet I don't know of many other times that you pay a premium for something and the first thing to happen is that you are warned of a possible tragedy that could take your life by flying in this aircraft.


Why is it that we are happy to put up with these true and valid warnings and not complain that it is over the top yet in other areas of life the rule seems to be not to talk about risks lest we be viewed as negative or judgmental?  


I suppose it could be the way it is communicated. Maybe we could dress nicely, have a lovely smile and make a video with simple props and a fact sheet and explain the risks of living in certain way that can be bad for your health.  Wait.... I think have seen that, it sounds familiar. It happens in many churches on a Sunday all over Australia. But yet the world does not want to hear about it. In fact when we dress nicely, smile, make clever videos and be as relatable as we can, we are still accused of propaganda and brainwashing and of having a hidden agenda.

Maybe there is a better way to communicate it.  What about if we tried to focus on a better story, better options and present the facts it in a relatable story to our daily life. Would that help? I tried to do this with one of my kids this week and it failed miserably. My son has nearly finished year 12 and like many others he has given up, so close the end.  I knew he didn’t really want to talk about it, cause really who wants to listen to reason when we really just want any excuse to walk away; so I tried to be creative and relatable and present the issue in another way.  There is a room in our house that I am repainting, it was rundown and needed a complete overhaul. It is a big job and starting it was the hardest part. But once I got into the rhythm it happened very quickly and the resulting transformation looked great.  I found that once I got to the third coat I was getting a bit over it.  The room looked so much better than before, it was nearly finished, but that last coat was boring to do. I had to finish it this day and I was procrastinating on doing it while aching not knowing how to help my son to hang in there. I asked him into the room and said, "What do you think?”  He said it looked great. I said, "It does doesn't it, but it needs one more coat and I can’t be bothered.  It will be okay if I just leave it unfinished, don't you think?" He replied, "I agree Mum, just leave it the way it is, it looks good enough to me!" And he walked out.........Total backfire!!

I wonder if it is simply that no matter how something is presented, if we want to do it we will, no matter the risk, consequences or dangers and if we don't want to, we won’t.  Scary for  as a teacher, parent and minister.....I am challenged to know what I am called to do and how to do it?

It would seem that many times we would rather take the red pill, go down the rabbit hole and take our chances no matter what warnings are given it will not matter. This is not a new revelation; it has been the same since the beginning of time. Man has always wanted to be masters of their own fate even if that leads to disaster or death. At least they can say they did it their way.

So, should we speak of the risks or consequences? Is it worth it?  Would it a make a difference if they never gave us warnings on a plane? I often wonder after hearing the same message over 100 times now, would I really know what to do in the unlikely event of an emergency? Would anything that has been said beforehand really make a difference as the plane is going down? I know one thing, as much as I fear being in a plane crash it has never stopped me from flying, even with all the pep-talks before hand.

But I also know that every time I hear the pep talk on the plane I am reminded of my fragility, my desire to live, the reality of needing to trust the pilot and the plane and that it is out of my control and that my ultimate trust and peace is in my Father in heaven. It may sound macabre, but very rarely does a flight go by when I don't begin it by saying to God, "Lord, if this is my time I am ready to be with you, please look after the ones I love and help them though this to know and love you more"

But there are many greater risks than flying in a plane or not finishing the final coat of paint in a room. How open are we to the warning signs of a promiscuous life, a consumerist life, a self centred life, a dysfunctional life, a lonely and isolated life, an angry or an abusive life? All the warnings and clever videos in the world will not make a difference unless we want to listen, want to change and want to seek positive solutions. Jesus wants to speak into these risks, and give us an abundantly full life.  He wants to heal the broken hearted and set the bound up free. He wants to do it with love and grace, not judgement and negativity.  He wants to bring hope.

But if the communication method doesn't really make a difference cause we will do what we want to do anyway, then maybe our greatest gift to the world around us is to pray for a change of heart and to live as one who brings peace and love to everything they do and everyone we encounter. We can live in a way that death is not final and not an unknown to be feared and that every day we live is a gift and an adventure to be enjoyed to the full.

Andy Stanley says “As leaders, we are never responsible for filling anyone else's cup. Our responsibility is to empty ours.”
Andy Stanley, Deep & Wide: Creating Churches Unchurched People Love to Attend .

We need to be ready to have a response when people are really asking.....because it is often when one is actually falling from the sky that one wants a steward beside them guiding and leading them toward safety with a light to direct their path.

It is "Mary AND Martha"

Whenever the Bible speaks about these two ladies ... it is always MARY AND MARTHA, and yet when there is teaching is it often addressed as ‘Are you are MARY OR MARTHA?’  There is often teaching that speaks about Mary being more spiritual than Martha. I myself have been guilty of presenting the spiritual choices of Mary as being the right choice based on the Luke 10 passage. This has always been a challenge to me personally as I am a Martha type and am always challenged to be more like Mary, but secretly want to ask ...”well who is going to get the work done then?”

Just recently as I was reading the book of John and as I re-read their story yet again, I was faced with the perspective of reading across the whole book and seeing that the story of Mary and Martha is not just one story but a number of stories that show other sides to both of these women in Jesus’s life. Of course there is always a danger in making a principle or judgement of a person based on one story. It is evident that Jesus and Mary and Martha, along with their brother Lazarus, were good friends so there is more than one opportunity to learn from their interaction.  

So in John 10-11, yes Mary is the one that anoints Jesus feet with expensive perfume, while Martha is again preparing the meal. Once again we can quickly say one act is more spiritual than the other, but why can’t both acts of service be just as valuable?  Not long before this meal, when Lazarus had died, it was Martha who ran out to see Jesus first. Yes, she was the one who liked to MAKE things happen, but she was also the one who spoke to Jesus and said that even though her brother was dead, if Jesus came sooner that might not have happened but she continued to say ... “I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” She had a strong faith and was a prayerful person as well. All this was happening while Mary was sitting in the house, being consoled by her friends (John 11:17-20). According to The book of John, Mary only went to Jesus when she heard He was “asking” for her. (John 11:28). She asked the same question that Martha did, and they both went with Jesus to the tomb. 

I see that they BOTH loved Jesus, they were BOTH faithful servants, they BOTH had compassion and desired to serve others; they simply did it in different ways.

So it is NOT a question of Mary or Martha, but rather Mary and Martha, the BOTH/AND principle again.

Sometimes we have to be careful when we put people into boxes and say they can only do some things. God wants us to be BOTH/AND.  For example, two of the Here2stay pillars are “Serving in Mission” and “Responding with Compassion.” This is one of those times that the BOTH/AND approach is important. Many people have thought both “pillars” are talking about the same thing. It is true they are similar, but like Mary AND Martha, one without the other is incomplete.  If we respond with compassion without serving (DOING) something about it, we can be guilty of paying lip service to a real need.  If we serve in mission without being compassionate we may end up doing it for the wrong reasons. Mary AND Martha remind us that at any time, Jesus challenges us that BOTH/AND are important for us to keep in balance.

SCKC is a camp we run in the school holidays for children from challenging backgrounds. We desire to create a week of safe, happy memories for these kids. Some come on team to serve because it makes them feel better about themselves. They often need some sort of reward or thanks for the privilege of their service. Some come on team as a response to the compassion they feel for the kids, but very quickly they come undone emotionally and can’t do anything because they are too upset. The team members who truly make a difference in this ministry are those who come to serve in whatever capacity is required, with a compassionate soft heart for the kids and with the faith of MARY AND words of MARTHA when she said to Jesus “I know that whatever you ask God He will give you.”(vs 22) “All along I have believed that you are the Messiah, the Son of God who comes into the world” (vs 27).

It is not a question of ‘are you like Mary OR Martha?’ It is the balance of the BOTH/AND that makes the Mary and Martha story so powerful. I want to be like BOTH Mary AND Martha.

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