You've Got this

 Usually you get to see the sunrise once each day. I felt like I got six today when I didn’t even think I would get one. 

There is nothing more beautiful than when the sun bursts through the clouds and reveals itself, warms your face, causes you to squint because the light is so bright. It is letting you know it is there and shining right on you, as if it rose just for you. And anyone looking at it can feel the same way, all at the same time. Such is the power of the sunrise. 

I walked to the beach with my camera bag, towels, cup of tea and tripod in the dark to watch it rise. Today, there was a thick dark cloud covering the sun, it spread right across the place where the sun was trying to rise. It was one of those mornings I felt was not going to be a good morning for pictures.  The cloud cover was too thick, too encompassing, too consuming. I sat down with my camera in the bag on one side of me and the tripod in its case the other side of me, deciding maybe it wasn’t even worth getting the camera out at all this morning. I watched the sun wrestle the clouds. I suppose it could have been worse, I could have looked out my window, seen the cloud cover and turned over and gone back to bed. 

 I watched the sun try for 40 minutes to rise out of the cloudcover. I got distracted and started taking photos of my mug and “3:16” anklet and wondered if this was enough of a reminder today. My mug says, “you’ve got this”, quoting Matthew 9:26 “… but with God all things are possible”. 

The sun would come and then the thick cloud would cover it again and then it would disappear and then come again ... over and over this morning ... until finally it stayed. Triumph at last. I am glad I stayed and watched, and the process was still beautiful. 

As I watched it unfold I wondered where was my focus? On the dark, thick, all-consuming cloud.  Or was it on the spray of light that told me the sun was there and although not in full effect yet, it was showing me that it had not gone away, given up or that it would not be defeated. Each time it was like the sun rose for the first time, a new perspective, a new photo and then it left again. The dark cloud would not deter its purpose and mission to shine today. As you can guess, you know where most of my focus was. It was on the dark cloud. And yet, every time the light broke through, I couldn’t miss it. It was overwhelming at times and unmissable. In fact, I got to see it 6 times, in case I missed it the first time. The light will always break through. 

 

The sun eventually overcame the dark cloud and rose above it and filled the sky with its radiance and my heart was warm again. But the trick is staying there, isn’t it? I packed up my camera and tripod, towels and precious cup that said, “All things are possible” and with a smile, wandered back to the van. 

10 minutes later I placed my things on the table and bumped the cup and it smashed all over the ground. This cup was not going to triumph over this defeat. A man walking past said, “oops … can you fix it with glue?” I frowned and said, “no, this one is unfixable”.  Not all things are possible in this broken world and within 10 minutes.  of such a wonderful revelation I could feel myself heading into the thick cloud again. 

 

Julian of Norwich promises that, in spite of appearances to the contrary, all is well. Not just that creation was beautifully made to begin with, and that it will all work out in the end, but that everything is all right at every moment, if we could only look through the eyes of love. Such a perspective is difficult to sustain, Julian would be the first to admit. In rare moments of unitive consciousness—watching the sun rise, maybe, or giving birth, or singing to God in community—we may have fleeting glimpses of the cosmic design and see that it is good. But then the veil drops again and we forget.^[1]

I turn to look up and see the sun still shining. Not all is possible, but anything God is in, I have to believe is possible, even when I can’t feel or see it. 

 

A timely message comes to me today from my wise mum: 

 

“Beauty comes from a spirit that has weathered many hardships in life and somehow continues with resilience. Grace can be found in a soul who ages softly, even amid the tempest” ... she continues. “Perhaps the loveliest of all is the one whose gentle heart bears a hundred scars, yet still finds a way to pick up the lamp one more time, to light the way for love.” 

 

Yes, today, I thought I was getting up to photograph a sunrise, but I walked away being reminded that in beauty and pain, He is always LOVE, and His love never changes. His light will break through. All things are possible. Help me Lord, for that to always be my focus. Perhaps He really was saying, “You’ve got this" and I clearly need to hear it more than once.

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^[1] Mirabai Starr, “Introduction,” The Showings of Julian of Norwich: A New Translation (Hampton Roads: 2013), xix

A picture paints a 1000 words....but is it the whole story?

I have often quoted, “A picture paints a thousand words”, and being someone who loves photography and the arts I am passionate about how something visual can speak louder than words. But this trip I have become aware even more so about what the ‘thousands of words’ mean?  As I have marvelled and enjoyed capturing God’s beauty, I have been amazed at the words it has evoked in other people that have seen my photos.  I realise, that even though I have taken a photo and it has revealed to me many words, emotions, memories, and joys, it is just the beginning of the power of the picture. For every individual who sees that one photo I have taken in my own context, there are so many more words evoked for other people.   

Tasmania

 

Bay of Fires

One visual takes them on their own journey, through their memory, their own wonder, their own discovery, that may have nothing to do with anything I have seen in that picture and what I saw when I took it.  Again, the power of the visual.   To have them relay back to me what they are seeing, widens my own view and helps me see more.  This is the importance of sharing with each other to widen our view and deepen the experience. The sadness is that we often keep our thoughts and pondering to ourselves and those around us don't benefit from our words and feelings.  The sadder aspect is that we have come to believe that the only one who can speak is the one who created the visual and so it is a one-sided conversation. It is like shutting down the words of others as if they are not valid and worthy to be heard.

 

But there is a danger to the power of the visual as well. Of course, I take many photos to get the perfect one, so in essence I am working hard to show you only my best photo, not all the blurred, out of focus photos that don't make it. There are so many words in every one of them, so many words in the process, so many words in the fact that sometimes there are days and days of nothing and monotony to finally get that high of a great photo. 

Uluru

 

Then there are also the words others add to my photos, that are not my words or assumptions about my experience that are not the truth.  The feedback is that just because I have taken a beautiful picture of God’s natural beauty, that I must be happy and having an amazing time.  Though the moment is captured and I am thankful and full because of the visual, that doesn’t always mean I am happy and having an amazing time. The power of the visual is that it can look like it is telling a story way bigger than I am really telling. It takes over and becomes its own story and the words I feel get lost.

 

All this to say that “life through a lens” is not always a true reflection of the truth. It can be the reflection you want people to see, or in my case it is the reflection of the God I long to live for, but confess I can’t always stay in.  So often the beautiful picture is also a deep reflection and desire to fill a deep ache and hole in my heart that right now seems unfillable. Life through a lens allows me to capture what I would like my world to look like, but sadly so often it is not what is on the inside. This trip I have focused on the beauty of creation, His nature. It is something I have needed to feed my soul, and it does. Nature is a place where I feel ‘it is what it is’. It is not trying to be something else, or hide behind a cover, it feels tangibly real, when right now in my world, I don’t quite know what is. That’s all the words my photos are saying. 

Kings Canyon

Bicheno Blowhole

 

 

“Isn’t is odd we can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside”  

(Charlie Mackesy)

 

I am not wanting to complain about the words that people are reflecting back to me, they are real and valuable and someone else’s story. I am thankful that the power of the visual gives people thousands of words and takes them to special places. But it does make me ponder on the importance of sharing with each other. The importance of the whole story, not just the highlighted bits that make me look good. I do not want to be that kind of impostor, or mislead others to feel that I am having the time of my life. Because this trip is fraught with challenge after challenge, as all of life is and we must be careful to know that FB or Instagram only tell half the story. 

 

Who are we sharing the whole story with, rather than the story we think they want hear? I am thankful for the few who walk closely with me and share all my words, the thousands that are good and the thousands that are broken and lost and hurting.  I am thankful for the many personal messages I have had over the last year, prompting me to know I am not alone. I am thankful for the beauty of creation and the safe place God provides anyone who seeks Him, whether it be in nature or otherwise. I am thankful for community, that while I am currently on my own in a van, I am deeply connected to a community of people and who have shared thousands of words over the years and months, both the good and the bad. In fact, I would say that I only get to share these pictures and have the strength to do this, because of those who carry me daily.  Yes, a picture paints a thousand words, but makes sure we are telling the whole story to someone, or the story is in jeopardy of not being real.   

It Starts in the Heart

I have had the privilege of spending time with some faith communities around Australia. I spent 4 days across 2 churches in South Australia. I didn’t realise at the time, but God knew. On the outside they couldn’t have been two more different church communities. One that met in the middle-class suburbs with members who are all either doctors, lawyers or training to be. The other was based right in the inner city with a main mission to helping and serving the homeless. One that met in a traditional church building with comfortable chairs, life groups, children’s and young adults ministry and good audio-visual. The other met in the park, bring your own camp chair and share a piece of paper with some words on it. Some of this community would have spent the morning feeding the homeless, offering showers, toilets and laundry. They had been a part of the South Australian fringe festival with the arts … sharing their gifts and being a light in the mainstream community as the fringe festival is going on all over the city.  

If you were to draw conclusions based on what you see on the outside, I can guarantee what you assume would be wrong. There may be one of those communities I just described that you may feel more comfortable in, but we must not judge and assume the heart of each person and space. 

It would be a bit like going to a wedding ceremony. Everyone looks their best, there is a certain amount of ceremony that is required for a wedding service to be complete. Some can look formal, some Informal. But there is a joining together, a commitment to each other, words spoken out by some or all, a certain amount of sitting and listening and sharing. 

But if all you thought ‘marriage’ was about was a ceremony, I can guarantee it would not last or be very healthy. No, it is in the ‘day in and day out’ that you see the heart, what really makes a community. It is in the way we love each other outside of the public ceremony that really counts. 

Love starts in the heart, but then life must overflow out of that. Life starts in the heart, but then life must overflow out of that. Faith and community starts in the heart and then life must overflow out of that. It goes beyond what the outside structure looks like.

So, when you get the privilege to sit with people in both of these faith communities you see a heart, where life overflows out of love for each other and for God and for those who do not know Him yet. 

From one lady, who, when things closed down from COVID, said, “That is not right, those on the streets need love now more than ever.  You can’t stop me. I will put a chair and table on the street and be there to pray for those who need it.”  So she did. She had no idea how and what was going to happen but for 8 months while COVID shut down the city and many ministries, she sat in the laneway of the inner city and took prayer requests and prayed for people. She said in all that time, she never heard a bad word or a rebuke toward her, but rather many homeless people said, “This is what the church should be doing”. Others fell to their knees and wanted to pray with her right there and then. 

To the young man in his 20s, who shared about how he would not be who he is today without this family of God. When he described church camp, a special event when they get together, he said, “It is the closest thing we get to heaven. Everything is so purposed towards God. You give yourself a 2-3 day window to see what humanity is capable of. To bond together and to actually build that community and be a representation of what God intended."

To the 60+ lady who couldn’t help share her passion about all age worshipping together. She said, “It is about focusing on the Lord. Age shouldn’t matter, if we focus on God we should be able to work through all the generations.” 

“The Lord your God will change your heart and the hearts of all your descendants, so that you will love him with all your heart and soul and so you may live.” Deut 30:6 (NLT)

To a 50+ single woman. What bubbled out of her when asked about her favourite memory of life together, was, “Curry nights, (she says with a warm tone), everyone mucks around, eats together and talks. It feels like family, fun. Feels like there is a lot of joy. It feels like we use the church space differently. Worshipping in just being ourselves. There’s often some creativity. All are welcome.”

These were people whose love starts in the heart and then life overflows out of that. So maybe it doesn’t matter what the ceremony looks like. 

“And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh”. (Ez 11:19 ESV)

I do believe that there are things we can do to help create environments to see generations do life together, but the key for me was that each person I spoke to wanted to see that more and more.  

In my last conversations with the pastors and leaders of both these churches they said, “Please tell us what are some key things we can do to connect the generations more”. With hearts like that, God can do anything, change is possible and connections across the ages will happen and will make a difference in everyone’s heart.