Waves Crashing on the Rocks

 

I find so much beauty and excitement as I watch the waves crash into the rocks at the beach. I can watch it all day. I love to capture it on film. I watch it over and over again as the sets roll in, and each time it is never quite the same. 

 

It is just what the waves do, they form and roll and as they get to the rocks ... they collide and smash and dissipate and reform.

 

Photographers especially love it when the weather is so extreme that the collisions become simply spectacular. 

 

I ask myself “How can I enjoy the beauty of the collision in nature and yet cry and complain when I feel like my life is like a wave?” 

 

I have never considered that the wave might feel like, “oh no the rocks are coming close, no, no, Why, why is this happening to me, this is going to hurt, I will never be the same. And then I will be sucked out to sea and it will happen all over again.” 

 

And yet, the collision, the smash, the dissipation, the suck, over and over again, the spectacular crash is just not something I can always celebrate as life takes its rolls and swirls. 

 

There are moments in life that feel like a spectacular crash, the smash that means that life will never be the same, the collision of what you thought was a beautiful life smashed against the rocks of reality. Times when you crash on those rocks and get sucked into new directions that means life will never be the same. 

 

Those moments when the crash has knocked the breath out of you and you have been tossed onto the rock and left alone to navigate your way back to the ocean, knowing that particular formation of a wave has gone forever. 

 

And there it is, just when I want to sit in my self-pity and feel sorry for myself, I find myself on the rock. The rock that is stable, firm, unmoving, steadfast. 

 

The whole when “I am weak, He is strong” thing, that I believe even when I cannot feel it right now. 

 

^“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-11)

 

The reminder and promise that “I need nothing more than God” and that “He is my rock”.  Those promises we talk about it, sing about and remember by heart are all good until they are all you are holding onto. 

 

When we are gasping for air and don’t want the new life ahead and yet the promise of new life from death and surrender is His central message. If we can’t choose to live it in these times, then what has life been all about? 

 

I walk onto the rocks and find those little shallow rock pools where the water lands at times. The places of calm where the water gets to rest, catch its breath. Ah ... a chance to breathe. But if you stay too long you get mossy and stagnate. 

 

No, it is the living and flowing water, that is where life is. 

 

"Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them" John 7:38

As I sit on the rocks and watch the still waters and the flowing waves side by side I know where I want to be most of my life. But to flow like living water, comes with pain, loss and challenge and joy. 

 

As Cory Asbury says in his song “'faithful Wounds' - I have learned to kiss the waves that push my soul into the caves”. 

I confess, I can’t kiss the waves yet, but I am on the journey.

 

I may never enjoy this crash, smash and collision in my own life, like I can enjoy watching the waves crash onto the rocks at the beach. But each day we can choose to take a step towards this new wave and trust that God knows where it will lead and that He will give us what we need to not only survive but learn to ride the wave again.

 

But as of today, I many never see waves smashing into rocks with quite the same delight. 

 

The Sounds of Cicadas

Summer has always been my favourite time of the year. The long nights on the balcony having BBQ and enjoying the view as the sun sets, being woken by the beautiful view out my window of the mountains and sky and trees. The sounds of summer… birds and OMG the cicadas.  Every 7 or so years there comes an influx of cicadas that are so loud it hurts your ears, sometimes they are so bad you can feel their spray on you as you stand on the balcony.  Even when I have opened the door to see if they are too loud to venture out, they have flown in and started flying around my living room. I have found myself trying to grab them at times when they are quiet. 

 

I race out to sit outside and enjoy summer, with my book and cup of tea I settle in, only to be attacked quickly by their sound that comes from what seems like nowhere, the wave of loud to medium, over and over again. I hold on hoping it will pass, or that I will get used to it and will be able to block it out, but every time I retreat back into the house. It’s like it is a game they are playing and they are winning. I have even put a strong hose on the trees and watched them

scatter only to watch them return moments later. I can’t work out when they start and when they finish, I only know that this summer their noise has been so loud that it has overtaken everything else and become the focus. Social plans have had to be changed to stay inside because we can’t face the sound, the intrusion, the disturbance, the sound that spoils a beautiful view, a lovely setting and a chance to enjoy summer in general.  This has added to the COVID challenges of not being able to be indoors with too many people, so the challenges continue. I have closed the doors and windows and simply stayed indoors to escape the drowning, humming, monotonous, painful sound of summer 2020-2021.

 

What do you do when you feel trapped in your own home by a sound that overwhelms you so that you can no longer enjoy the simple things in life that in the past have brought you so much joy? I know it is only a season, it won’t last for long. I know we just have to wait it out, this too will pass. When you’re in it, it is hard to feel that. No matter what is happening around you all you can focus on is the sound of the cicadas and how to drown them out. It is sad because the sun is still shining, the sky is still blue, the mountain is still green and lush, the air is still warm and inviting, but this season I had to try to enjoy it behind closed doors. It is like watching summer pass you by, as a by stander a step back from the action. 

 

There are seasons, circumstances, pains and hurts, challenges that come into our life that overwhelm the simple beauty of the everyday. They encroach on every aspect of life and are hard to shut out. It is hard for them NOT to become the focus, for the challenges, pains and hurts to stop us from being able to feel any of the joy, the positive moments. 

 

It is hard to know when this happens to us, and it will happen, to know what to do. Do we bunker down and wait for it to pass (PAUSE), do we push through and try to find ways to not let it spoil our situation (PLAY) or do we run away and find a different view (DELETE/SKIP) or do we let it affect us so much that we become angry, bitter and decide to give up everything because it is all too hard. (STOP). They are all choices we have, and in each circumstance we need to consider the correct approach. This is where PERSPECTIVE helps. The REWIND and FAST FORWARD buttons.  As we REWIND in our mind, we consider better times or times where it felt hard and challenging and we got through it. 

For this summer, I rewind and know that this happens every 7 or so years, I know that the cicadas only last about 6-8 weeks and it too will pass. When I FAST FORWARD I know that a new season is coming and to hold on and keep perspective.   If I didn’t have that perspective, I might panic, feeling like this will never end. Nature continues to teach us a lot, but nature’s seasons are more defined as to when they begin and end. Life’s seasons and circumstances are not so easily defined and that makes it more scary. 

 

This is when a faith perspective makes all the difference. I REWIND and see what God has done since the beginning of time, what Jesus has done on the cross, those that have gone before and in the midst of crisis can still say “It is well with my soul”.  I FAST FORWARD and see the promises of hope and a good end to the story. I can hold onto the knowledge that my story ends where there is no pain, no death, no crying, only love, joy and peace. It is that perspective that helps me face today’s overwhelming sounds of brokenness, pain, confusion, no answers, not being able to feel joy or face people today. Whether I choose STOP, PAUSE, DELETE/SKIP or PLAY for a time … It is ‘perspective’ (FAST FORWARD and REWIND that will get me through to the next season.

 

The cicadas will be gone soon, summer will turn to autumn. This too shall pass in months, I can only pray that the overwhelming defeat of pain, circumstances and challenges you are facing today pass just as quickly and that you will soon be able to feel joy, peace and love again. Life teaches me that this may not happen this side of eternity, so PERSPECTIVE is all we have to hold onto, and it is real, it is true and it will come to pass. 

 

 

The Perfect Leaf

My friend recently celebrated her 40th over a “Pinot and Picasso” party. She being an artist wanted us to all join her and learn to paint a picture while drinking wine. While I am not artist, I thought it sounded like a bit of fun and was looking forward to it. And with a wine in my hand and good food … what could possibly go wrong? So the afternoon was filled with an artist taking us step by step through a painting of a flower. With a wine in one hand and a brush in the other we started with a blank canvas and sought to do as she instructed.

       

A number of friends, like me, who knew our limitations when it comes to art, were all prepared to give it a go and were looking forward to a laugh and some good times together. But I noticed that there was a variety of responses from people. Some, I found out later didn't come as they felt they would be embarrassed. Others made themself sick with worry about it leading up to the event and others struggled the whole time, getting frustrated with the process. I had come along expecting to be able to laugh at myself and my feeble attempt at painting a flower. In the end they all looked great and I was personally a little disappointed that we didn't have an opportunity to laugh a little more at the final results. 

One friend beside me voiced her frustration of not being able to paint the perfect leaf. She had painted 6 leaves and according to her only one was perfect. I asked which one was the one she thought was perfect. She showed me, and it looked like the typical leaf that you would draw when you are in Kindergarten. I asked her “What makes you think that is the perfect leaf?” In fact, the more I thought about it, is there actually such thing as a perfect leaf? At one point she got so frustrated she started to jump up and down on the spot. Me, showing my caring and sensitive side (not), simply laughed and told her to get herself another wine. 

It did, however, begin a conversation about the process and how worked up we can all get about things that don't really matter. 

As we went around the room, looking at each other’s paintings of the flower we were all copying, no picture looked the same. Every painting had such a different take on the same one visual we were all supposed to be copying. It was amazing and beautiful and so freeing. Like leaves on a tree, no one leaf is the same, each is unique and different. Sure, the general shape and colour might be similar, but it is so nice that nature leads the way in how we can celebrate creation in all its uniqueness. 

I especially loved the fact that in the process of painting if you didn't like something you could just paint over it or change it. And in the end if you couldn’t get it right, you had at least given it a go. But more often than not the part that didn't work to your exact plan, often became just the part that made your art special. 

“Making art provides uncomfortably accurate feedback about the gap that inevitably exists between what you intended to do and what you did.” (David Bayles and Ted Orland, Art and Fear - Image Continuum, 1993, pg 4) 

Now, I know I was not aiming for Picasso and I get that there are those who are not only gifted but take their art very seriously. But I also could see very quickly that if you took yourself too seriously you could easily miss the point of this experience. The point was not to paint the perfect leaf, but for us girls to be celebrating a friend’s birthday and enjoying the adventure together. What really mattered was that we were there, giving it a go, having a laugh and enjoying the process. 

We must always consider what we focus on. You may miss the point along the way if you focus on the wrong thing. 

I wonder how many things we miss out on, because we are so worried about doing something perfectly that we don't do anything at all. I know I will never have the problem. Perfection is not something I do well … so bring on the next challenge. 

“The most beauty will emerge from the paintbrushes held by those who are most free from fear” (Lysa TerKeurst, “It’s not supposed to be this way: Finding unexpected Strength when disappointments leave you shattered”, pg 215)