A Heart Change

Anyone who knows me must feel like I sound like a broken record when I go on and on about the need for a paradigm shift in our “thinking” about how we are called to “Do” or “Be” the church.  I feel like I have ached for a long time now to see a “mind” shift amongst Church leaders about the way we disciple young people. The need to re-think how we live and grow in lifelong faith within an environment of multi-generations and how to strengthe the family. While, I love the faith community I have been a part of for the past 10 years and have seen my children flourish, I still feel like Christendom has made very little shifts as a whole. I walk away from conference after conference, and church after church and find I mostly feel sad and despondent.

But this week I got to listen to Rob Rienow from the USA.  He was talking to my spirit and my mind, but mostly God spoke through him to my heart. He spoke about an aspect of scripture I had never seen before and I thank God for people who listen and study God’s word and are able to stretched and inspire us. 

He spoke about the last word that God speaks in the Old Testament.

“He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.” (Malachi 4:6)

Just before the world entered into a time of 400 years of God being silent, these were his last words to the world. Imagine if you had one final thing that you could say to the world before you left, what would it be? Or course, there are some other key things He says before that, about remembering what He has done in the past and trusting that He will return…..but in the meantime, this is what He longed for His people…….

This is God’s heart for us all…..that we may turn toward each other and be loving, soft and gracious. To acknowledge each other, regularly, with deep, soft hearts. God could have said remember to confess your sins, remember to sacrifice animals when you make a mistake, remember to make sure you meet regularly and honour the sabbath, remember to build buildings that people can attend and worship me, remember to be very busy sharing my love because people need to know about me…….but He said …..fathers (mothers) turn your hearts towards your children and children turns your hearts towards your fathers (mothers). For where there is love and unity and in the families (my little bodies of Christ all over the world/my little Churches) , there is hope that my love will shine. 

How could I have missed this…….it is a “heart” change. Here I have been talking about a “mind-set change” all these years, but just like our faith…..it must first start in the “heart”. 

And then 400 or so years later the first time we here from God again in the New testament is in Luke 1:15-16

“He’ll be filled with the Holy Spirit from the moment he leaves his mother’s womb. He will turn many sons and daughters of Israel back to their God. He will herald God’s arrival in the style and strength of Elijah, soften the hearts of parents to children, and kindle devout understanding among hardened skeptics—he’ll get the people ready for God.”

The angel speaks God’s message to Zachariah to assure him of a new thing that is being born. The angel told him that his wife will bear a son,  and that he is to call him John and that he will bring a special message to the world and prepare the world for what is next to come.  The angel speaks about the fact that John will prepare everyones heart to be soft to the message of Christ……that we might hear the heart of His father, who is the father of all fathers.  And the way that the message will be strong and will stay, is when the hearts of the parents soften to their children, which will help them to be soft to their father in Heaven. 

What an incredible strategy that we might come to know the Love of our father in heaven, could it be that simple?  What a more amazing strategy for Satan to do all he can to destroy the fathers love for his children, to encourage him to abuse that love, to be too busy to do that, to confuse the importance of the fathers (parents) soft love towards their children, to down play it, to encourage parents that it is ok for others to teach and bring their children up in their spirituality, to mis-guide church leaders (for all the best intentions) to believe that they can do a better job of that and to structure the institutional church with programs and systems that have basically left parents feeling like they simply don't know where to start. 

I wonder if His heart breaks, well I know that mine does, so I can only imagine what God may feel. Yes, He is patient and kind and gracious and flexible and unconditional, but there must be sometimes when He says “really………how much clearer can I be?”  The book of Malachi finishes with a “curse” , so to Him, this is serious stuff…..the matters of the heart always are. 

So, in 2017, where the word “marriage” is being redefined by the world, the word “family” is almost as much a dirty word as the “church”, the idea of a ‘mother’ and ‘father’ is confused, the world looks at the Church and sees reports of abuse from the Royal commission, they see the Church filled with families that are broken, marriages with the divorce rate as high as those who don't walk in faith, leadership that is male dominated and yet many who are absent from their families and kids….is it any wonder we are not seeing a “mind-set change”. It is because we all need a “heart" change. 

I like to Imagine…… a Church (household / faith community) where the fathers (parent) heart is turned towards to the child and the children’s heart is turned towards the father (parent)! That would mean that we would need to be together often, to really know each other, that we would all be other centred and soft to differences and diversity. It would mean that our time, our resources, our focus, our daily activity would be focused on whatever it took for each other to grow and feel loved and accepted.  In that environment God would be able to draw us closer to Him, and those who don't know what that is like would be drawn to this expression of love. Their “hearts” would be soft.

I have been convicted yet again….that my language my have been not helpful all these years. I have been reminded, if God can change our “hearts”…..our “heads” will follow then finally we might begin to see the paradigm shift we so desperately need. Forgive me, from today I will continue to pray about a “heart" change for us all.  

Can you disciple in a Crowd?

For some it is easy to draw a crowd, their gift as a teacher, speaker, or their charisma is simply enough, for others it’s the music they produce. Even the crowd draws a crowd. I understand the pull of a crowd, the excitement of a crowd, the feeling of being part of a bigger thing. But are we called to draw a crowd?

I wonder how we measure significant ministry? I know for me growing up in the “Church Growth” era, being a pastor, speaker, trainer and writer for 30 year, I have spent most of my time judging success and significance in ministry based on how many people are at a conference, how many children are at a camp, how many people are in the church, how many books are sold, how many resources are being used and by how many denominations, how many baptisms we had this year, how many new converts were added in a year. I have always tried to justify to myself, that when there’s a crowd, there’s more chance of influence and impact and drawing them to Christ? But more importantly, if there is not a crowd, a growing number of people, then I must be a failure in being a leader, pastor, speaker, trainer.  There are many great leaders and speakers in Christendom who will always draw a crowd, and God uses them in mighty ways, but they are not the majority. If we continue to measure our call on this earth by this measure ONLY, then it is a dangerous trap we can get into, and it takes us away from the real truth of God’s big story and our part in that. I continue to serve God in ministry, because I am constantly drawn to Jesus and the way He lived his life.

When Jesus walked this earth, He seemed to intentionally not draw a crowd. He often drew away from the crowd (Matt 8:18, Luke 5:16, Matt 14:22-23, Mk 6:45-46, John 6:14-15). He had compassion on the crowds (Matt 9:36) when they followed Him and spent time teaching them and healing them. But, 9/10ths of his time in ministry was with a small crowd, as he intentionally discipled them so that they might do the same. His last words to them were “go and make disciples” (Matthew 28:20), just as I have done with you. And they did….

“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they wondered, and they recognised that they had been 

with Jesus”

Acts 4:13

In fact when I think about the most significant things that Jesus did in His ministry, He was with a small group of people. A small group of people were at His birth, His baptism, the last supper, the garden of gethsemane, His death on a cross, His resurrection, accent to heaven.  I often think of  Jesus dying on the cross for the world and a few faithful people are with him, in this, His most significant time.  It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the crowd, but it was the small few that he discipled who he chose to make an impact on the world, not the crowds. The “crowds” were the ones who crucified Him.

C.S. Lewis stated it this way:

The Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christ's  If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons… are simply a waste of time.

George Barna says:

“Jesus never commanded us to plant churches. In fact, He didn't tell us to get converts, either. He told us to make disciples, and then HE would build His Church”(1)

L.Elms says: 

“Disciples cannot be mass produced. We cannot drop people into a program and see disciples emerge at the end of a production line. It takes time to make disciples. It takes individual attention”(2)

Reggie Joiner says:

“We want them to a have a really BIG faith- an authentic faith. And the only way you can cultivate authentic faith is through leading small”(3)

So, I ask, Can you disciple in a crowd?  If we are called to “make disciples”, then what does that look like? I believe Jesus modelled it well and often He had to draw away from the crowd so He could disciple. 

We are called to be disciple makers. To create environments where these qualities, the ones I see in Jesus when he discipled his 12 followers, are focused on: 

Quality Time – hours and hours and hours of walks, eating, eg. road trips, adventures.

Deep Relationships – safe places where we laugh and cry, listen, address conflict, forgiveness, praying and are truly honest.

Life Experience – doing life with people who have been there before, where trust has been built over time with all different ages groups sharing

Shared Mission – doing something together, all using the gifts, seeing the failures and the successes.

Living Inspiration - Wise Guidance – knowing and trusting someone’s word and counsel because you see them living it out in the everyday.

Honest Accountability – where you are not alone on this journey and people will hold each other accountable. 

Sharpening Knowledge –where everything we do and hear and see becomes a chance to learn and grow. The world is our classroom as we roam this life together.

It takes more than drawing a crowd to do this and we must draw away from the crowds to do this more than we look to draw a crowd. This is an encouragement for many of us who can’t draw a crowd anyway. To walk with a few intentionally and authentically is all we called to do. This is a bigger challenge for those who can draw a crowd. Luke 12:48 says , “Of those who have been given much, much will be demanded.”  Either way, Jesus, who could draw a crowd, chose to work with the few. What are you called to do?

1.Tony & Felicity Dale , George Barna, pg 157, “Small is big”

2. L.Elms, The lost art of disciple making

3. Reggie Joiner, “Lead small”, pg 15

Taking Young People Seriously

At a time where Integrity in leadership is being questioned all over the world, I spent 3 days with 21 young people who gave me hope in our future leaders.

Recently we ran a “Spiritual Retreat” called VERGE, for young people aged 12-14 years old. (6th -7th Grade).  21 young people applied, knowing it was all about looking deeply at who they are in God, learning about their strengths and challenging them to think outside themselves and serve others.  Can I add, 17 of them were boys and fine young men they all were. For so long, I have heard that they are just too young. Well, I refuse to listen anymore.

The retreat was set up with the express view that it was not just a one off. Each young person was connected with a mentor at the retreat, who was aged between 18-30 years old and who had made a commitment to connect with them a minimum of 3 times throughout the year. The leadership team running the event were in the 30+ bracket. So, three generations spent an intense three days, listening, laughing, learning, stretching ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually to see what God had to say to us all. 

The depth of these young people and their desire to know more about God, themselves and others was astounding. There were times where they had to be silent, times where they had to be honest, times where they had to be other-centred, times where that had to be self-reflective. I often sat back and was amazed at the richness of these young people and was excited to think that if this is an indication of the leadership and integrity of this generation, we are in very good hands. 

I was serious about leading this retreat, but I didn't expect the young people to be so serious. There were times when I couldn't stop them from praying together. The spaces for learning were so engaging. The creative sessions just went on and on. They were really hungry for it all. 

We have all made a 2 year commitment, as we look forward to retreating again together this year. We will then invite them to continue on for another 2 years in a further retreat called “Deeper.” 

There is a strong partnership with the parents. We met with them at the beginning for a couple of hours and the end of the retreat to share what we had been doing.  We talked about how we can all partner together to walk with these young people, helping them to stay on the journey at a time when statistics show they are leaving the Church. 

We created an APP so we all connect regularly. The young people with mentors, mentors with team, mentors with parents …it is wonderful. 

When we asked the young people what was the best thing about VERGE they said:

1. Getting Closer to God

2. The Worship

3. Spending time with mentors 

4. The Silence Walk

5. Conquering fears 

6. Making new friends

7. The smaller amount of people 

It only takes the willingness to create an environment where young people are taken seriously and allow them to connect with their Father in heaven and the faith community here on earth. I know it will not catch everyone, as there are too many young people leaving the church every year, but surely we are called to simply try. Generations intentionally walking together, faith communities walking with families, young people being empowered to know that their Father in heaven wants to connect with them and that they are never alone in this journey. A chance to give them a bigger story than what the media and our world leaders are giving, or at least some stability to navigate the road ahead.

I want to be a part of that …don't you?