It's Impossible!

I have a loft office, which is so wonderful, and I have to admit there are many days I don't want to come down from the loft to do menial things like cook or tidy the house.  The challenge with a loft office, with a beautiful winding wooden staircase up to it, is furnishing it.  I got a second hand desk this weekend, which was very exciting, until we thought of the practicalities of getting this large “L” shaped desk up the winding stairs into my office.  There were 4 guys (the brawn) and me, and I must say there were a few in the party who thought it was an impossible task. Once we realised it didn't come apart, it was either try the impossible or take the desk back.  

I must say, I do love a challenge, a task that seems impossible. I love giving it a try, especially when someone says it can’t be done. I planned to be the photographer and capture whatever was about to happen, as I was ready for anything, but that was not to be so as we needed all hands on deck. 

It might be hard for me to describe to you, to impart the full impact of this task, but I will give it a try. When the boys first walked in, they thought we were mad for even considering the task, and like most things if it is not your own experience, the impact is not there as it was for us. 

It’s a funny thing when you are faced with what seems an impossible task. It is interesting to see different people’s reaction to the problem.  We all worked together well and listened to each other, there were many silly comments flying around, ropes being tied to places and many theories being discussed. We finally decided to give it a go and use the open cavity that a winding staircase creates to lift the desk into, balancing it and sliding it all the way up on the railings. (Note to self - when sliding a heavy desk along a wooden railing, best to put towels or something to protect the wood. Oh well, just the beginning of the casualties that were about to occur). 

Once we had reached the limit of the boys’ arms, standing on chairs, on the lower level, to hold the desk in the free airspace, there was a little element of panic. We had navigated the first corner and now had the desk balancing on the railings, hanging in the air with no way to hold it from underneath, which left a couple of us on the second level holding it from above. It was now wedged in the air, with someone tying it off against the railing, and we still had another 180 degree turn to do with an “L” shaped desk. It was literally like playing the game of “Tetris.”  I was wedged in the corner, holding my end and thought if I could open the window, and stick my end out of the window, it might make more space for turning, I pulled the screen off, it dropped to the ground and I opened the window to get a little movement, but it was not enough. 

I could see the scrapes on the walls, the dents in the railings and my husband with sweat pouring down his face and a look of “this is not going to happen”.  My son was getting some tools to take off a part of the railing and the rest of us were all simply holding the desk so it didn't fall to the floor below, taking out the railings and Dave’s little wine cellar directly below us.  It is in these moments that what we do next really counts.  How do we handle this situation? What next?  I must say while Sam was taking off the railing, it gave us all 5 -10 minutes break. Although we were still holding the desk, it wasn't heavy, and we were all able to take a breath, give it some space, think a little and even laugh a little about the situation we had got ourselves into.  I quickly asked someone to take a few pictures, as I knew a blog was forming out of this experience, whatever the outcome.

At this stage putting the desk back down was going to be just as challenging as trying to turn it. Considering the situation, we were all quite calm on the outside. I would have loved to know the thoughts of everyone. I think I know the thoughts of my husband, though not sure if I would have liked to hear them out loud at the time.  But for me, I was standing there, thinking, “we can’t go back, we have come so far, there has to be a way. This will be so disappointing if we can’t solve it!”  

Well, I think time and space is always a good thing, a little rest and a place to re-qroup. We got towels for the next set of railings (we learned from our first mistakes) and started again to move and wiggle and turn the desk. Finally when we thought it was just not going to happen, one of the guys simply said, “surely if we turn this way, it should just slide in,” and as we did, no one could quite believe what we were seeing. The desk simply slid right through the door and into my office. 

We jumped around the room in celebration. We couldn't believe we had done it some were still in shock and disbelief.  The final step seemed so easy, we couldn't believe what had just happened. Within minutes we had gone from being completely stuck with no hope to the task being solved so simply.

It required team work, listening to each other, a few casualties along the way, a time to rest, re-group, space to step back and look at the problem from different angles and then sheer determination and commitment.  What seemed Impossible, ended up being possible and the experience finished with a great sense of achievement in the end. 

My favourite verse is Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”, but I know that this task had nothing to do with this verse and to quote it would be to lessen the promise of its real meaning. Not even “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26) is correct, although I have to admit they are the first things that come to my mind when I think about this experience. But, I know that the moment we found ourselves in the “impossible thinking” place, was the vital time which made a difference to the final outcome. We can quote all the Bible verses in the world, but in the end, it is our frame of mind (and God certainly helps us in this space), the importance of others, the value of listening to others and of doing our best without panicking  whatever happens, which leads to things that seem impossible at the time, actually happening.  And the more we experience this, the more we see that is possible, in all aspects of life. 

I know that a common saying I speak out all the time to my kids and in leadership is “There must be a way.” I wish I could say it to myself more often, but I do believe your frame of mind makes a difference to what is actually possible.  I am also thankful, that I serve a BIG God, who shows me daily, that what is possible with me, is nothing compared to what is possible with HIM.  What is your frame of mind when faced with a challenging task? What stops us from doing the seemingly impossible or more importantly, what helps us face challenges in order to see the impossible happen?  

When your "phone" becomes your "dummy"!

Sam when he was 1yrs old

When our kids were young I would say they LOVED their dummy. For a number of years they thought they needed it to keep them calm, safe, or maybe that is just what we wanted them to believe.   They had cute names for it and we just wouldn't go anywhere without it. When they were very young I would tie it to their shirts, so when it fell out it wouldn't get lost, or dirty and was protected, ready to be inserted when necessary. Now this may say more about my parenting than the kids’ dependence on a dummy to help them feel safe and calm. 

Of course we knew it wasn't something that they needed or that was good for them in the long run, and it didn't take long before we devised a strategy to help them to be weaned off it. We knew it would eventually stop them from talking, developing their social skills and being able to communicate well with others, as well as being seen as a grown up rather than being a baby. For Georgia in particular, this was never going to stop her from talking, but she did love to be pacified at times when emotions were out of control. Georgia was very quick to substitute her thumb, which cannot be taken away, so we persevered with the dummy longer, so she didn't get dependent on her thumb, which is always accessible.   

We got over that stage of life and now that my kids are 16 and 19, I think they have not been too scarred by having a dummy when they were young. At least, I thought so, until I saw the visual of my 19 year old, coming out of his room this morning, still half asleep, in his “pj’s,” walking towards the toilet with his phone in his hand. It reminded me of when he was little and walking around with his “nummies” in his mouth. 

Funny how the phone has become the modern dummy. And this is not just for children. This is any age.  I see people of all ages walking everywhere with their phones in their hands, not being able to put them down or feel they can function without them.

They have become our modern pacifier. I know my children say I am a “techniphobe", but I don't believe that is true as I see great value in the phone.  But it is important for us to be able to make a call (see the pun) when our phone has become our pacifier, so much so that we begin to disengage in life around us.  Technology is a wonderful tool when we are in control of it, when we use it for good. But like anything, there is the potential for a dependence and distraction that is unhealthy. 

I knew when my kids were young, that a dummy served its purpose for a time and within reason, but we needed to eventually get control of the use of it, not the other way round. For a child, when a dummy hinders development, communication and the social ability to be able to relate to others then I think we would all acknowledge that this is not healthy. Children very rarely go to school with a dummy. By the age of 5 it is not something they use in public. They may still need help calming at night, but this is a process they are learning to get personal control over.  

I took this in a cafe just recently

In 2016, the phone has become that for many people, and not just in private. It seems socially acceptable to have a phone in just about every aspect of life, always on, always accessible. I believe it is getting to the point where this is hindering communication, social relationships and for some their own personal development. This is ironic, as the phone was originally designed to be a tool of communication. But, it is very sad to see the disengagement I feel l am continually fighting face to face with people, as I compete with the phone for people’s attention. I am talking about when our phones become our pacifier, our escape, our place to retreat to, our main connection points, our space fillers. And this is not even addressing what we are actually looking at when we go there. That is a whole other blog.  At least with a dummy for a child, it actually takes them to a “zen” state, a “dummed” down space, where they simply calm down, as opposed to what we today are doing on our phones in these spaces of escape.  

But to stay on track, like in most things, we simply need to have self-control and be willing to ask ourselves: “when has our phone become our dummy?”

Here are some times that I check myself as to whether my phone has got too much power over me: 

• When we are with friends around a table and we would rather be engaged on our phone than the person across the table from us.

• When we feel we can’t go to sleep unless our phone is beside us, ON.

• When the first thing we do when we get up in the morning is check our “notifications”. 

• When we are in a meeting and feel we just have to have our phone beside us (on silent) so we don't miss that ting, ping or message.

• When we panic because we have not sent out our snapchat story for the day.

• When we feel an experience is not complete unless it has been shared on Social Media.

• When we feel naked or incomplete if we have lost our phone, or left it at home.

• When we go to a place that gets no reception and we start to shake with anxiety because we are not connected. 

• When we are spending time with God and we just have to answer the phone. 

• Do I control my phone use or does it control me?

You might have some other good checks that I have missed. I’d love to hear them, but most important, are you willing to ask the question?

An Extra in His Story

Moses is certainly a well-known Bible Hero. Amidst pain, loss, trials, tragedy, the book of Exodus begins with the Genocide, where every boy must be thrown into the Nile. The cruelty of one nation’s leader exerting power over another nation simply because he could and because he didn’t agree with their beliefs and many suffer for it.  Because of their love for God, the Hebrews were subjected to broken hearts. When parents heard, "it's a boy," it would not have been such good news as they would have known the child would be killed. 

But one mother hides her baby boy for three months until she cannot hide any longer, then she puts the baby into a basket and puts it in the water. Can you imagine doing that? The Hebrew word for “basket” translated in English is “ark.” Like Noah’s Ark, Moses’ basket is coated with pitch and tar. This is not the first time that an ark has been placed in dangerous waters and all of the salvation of a nation happens to be going through one person.  

The Nile is full of crocodiles, unsafe water. The risk was huge. However frightening for Moses, or more so the family, I believe that Moses was never safer than when he was in the basket. Is this because Moses was destined to be a hero? Was it because he was someone special and God needed him to do a special job? Was this because he was such a good person? The Bible says “he was fine”(Ex 2:2) so did he need to be saved over the thousands of children who had already been killed? No, I don’t believe so. He was safe because it was all about His story, God’s story. 

So, the drama continues as Miriam (the daughter) watches as the wife of the man who wants this baby killed, picks him up out of the water, knowing full well this is a Hebrew baby. Miriam thinks quickly and is able to offer advice and says she has someone who can look after the baby. When you fear Pharaoh is in control, God shows that He is always in control of His BIG story.

The ‘so called’ Hero of the story, as we know, grows up in the palace and eventually saves God’s people and is used mightily for God. And we teach that just like Moses, God saves us, God uses us to do mighty things, God takes all our circumstances no matter how difficult and uses them for Good.  This is what we teach our children. It is what I was taught. 

For me there is a big BUT, when I think of the 1000’s of babies killed, the 1000’s of families broken, the slavery, the hardship for many other faithful Hebrews in this story. 

To those with broken dreams, to those abused in the process, to those who faithfully serve and find they live mostly with disappointment, I still do believe that God saves us and that He is control. I just believe that not everyone gets to be a “Moses”. 

Not everyone is going to have an amazing destiny, a dream, a vision. But no one likes to talk about this. That is not the message people want to hear. We read this story and want to be Moses. What if we are called to be the mother (Ex 2:3) who simply allows this to happen by being brave enough to put Moses into the basket? What if we are faithful and serve God all our life and we watch in slavery all our life as God uses Pharaoh’s daughter (a woman with no faith) (Ex 2:9) for His purposes of bringing up Moses in the palace. What if we are called to be the Hebrew who gets beaten up by the Egyptians, who helps Moses see the injustice and need for someone to step in and do something (Ex 2:11-12). Or worse, what if we are asked to be one of the ones sacrificed and killed, so that the seriousness of genocide (Ex 1:22) makes a mother get the strength to save her baby, in order for God to use him to save everyone? I could go on, but I think you get the point. I am trying not to be cynical or bitter about it, but it is a reality check, when we understand that to surrender to being a part of God’s story means maybe being asked to play a minor part, or simple being an expendable extra for His greater story. 

We simply have to learn to be content and faithful with the small things and know we get to be part of the bigger story. It is a hard message to sell I know. I admit personally, it has been a harder message to accept and surrender to. 

We don’t often highlight or celebrate the mother of Moses, the sister of Moses, the families that carried on when there was so much pain and loss, the slaves of the day who had the courage to stand strong when the work load got heavier and harder while Moses was challenging Pharaoh. But we should, for they are the necessary and vital extras in the story that make it so great when the Hebrew nation leave Egypt and decimate the power and workforce of the Great Pharaoh. And we should, because it is the majority of us.

I am slowly learning what it means to be joyful and to encourage the few leaders God calls to step out and do the brave thing. I am learning to be happy about it even when I don't want to, when I am bitter, when I am disappointed, when I wish it was me. Lord, when I am not brave enough to be an extra in your story, forgive me and help me be gracious. 

I often fear, in the western world in particular, that we are setting our kids up for a bigger fall than I have had to work through over the years. I often wonder if it is one of the key reasons we are losing so many of our young people from the faith journey. It is because we are not telling the right story?  We are busy teaching them that :

“God has a BIG plan for their life and that they are special”

It may sound like semantics I know, but I am NOT sure if it is exactly true. In Corinthians Paul’s talks about the body of Christ and the part we are called to play. 

“You are Christ’s body—that’s who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your “part” mean anything.” (1 Cor 12:27, The Message)

“But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. (1 Cor 12:19, The Message)

I believe that this message is actually more correct:  

“God has a BIG plan, but it is HIS plan, and we are blessed to be a part of it, which makes us special. If we surrender our life to be an extra in His story, that’s when we get to be a part of something BIG.”

Maybe I am a slow learner, but I wish I understood this when I was young. It is such a different way to view the faith journey. I want to be faithful to this message to all I teach and walk with, that it might help many NOT so easily turn away due to disappointment, failed dreams, misunderstanding, feeling like a failure or being not good enough or simply feeling anger at God because HE has not come through for them. Oh, that we entitled, expectant westerners might see the beauty, privilege and honour to be an EXTRA in HIS BIG STORY.