It is not always ROSIE!

 This Christmas our little Aussie family UNIT decided to travel to the USA for a White Christmas. 2 adults, 2 teenagers, 1 room, 2 double beds, 1 bedroom, 5 weeks.  This is not the first time we have done this type of thing, but the kids are growing up and getting older and bigger and suddenly sharing two double beds in a small room, in a different Hotel every second night, was set to be a challenge. It was certainly had the potential to test the limits or reach new heights.  I have always believed with any awesome highs comes some challenging lows, so here’ s my chance to test my beliefs.

During this trip, I decided if my family UNIT was to be described by a colour it would be “red”.  When I think of the colour red, I think of roses and the beauty of them, the fullness of colour, the sweet smell and the specialness of flowers.  Our family UNIT is so many ways is that. When we are together in a confined space on the whole we get on pretty well, in fact we seem to get on better and better as time goes on. We experienced some major highs and there was a beauty to be savoured, or course with much laughter involved. That’s when all was ROSIE and we were all in a GOOD space.

Then, the colour red, also can represent heat, electricity and fire.  And boy, we had some of those moments.  All four of us have been known to be a little “Firey” at times.   When you are in a confined space, this seems amplified. These moments stung, but fortunately there were only a few of them.

It is certainly not comfortable, but if you want the highs, you can’t avoid the lows.    I understand why people just don’t do it, travel I mean, besides the cost involved, travelling with 4 people, and 2 being teenagers just opens you up to really tough challenges.  

When you drive into a new town, you don’t know where you are going to stay for the night, you are hungry and you can’t find anything you all agree on that you are all willing to eat, and for the right price. When each person has a different idea of what they would like to do with their day and no one can agree on what attraction to go to first.  Even driving somewhere, there at some point has to be some agreement on the music we listen to.  This is when it is not always ROSIE ! But I will add… In American country towns, where the only option is country music, on this matter we ALL agreed, even silence is a better option.

The sad thing is that most people’s response to challenging times, is to avoid it at all costs. To separate, give space, isolate, stay comfortable.  This has become easier and easier. Now more than ever before 4 people can be in a confined space like a car and yet be truly separate. With technology, earphones, Ipads, computers, it is really easy to check out. I understand this response but it is so sad that people don’t understand we are meant to push through the challenges, even grow through them, rather than do all we can to avoid them.

In the end it is in that place where we truly learn who we are, who God can be and what really matters!  And what matters is that it is not always ROSIE, and it is not meant to be. Whoever said that REAL LIFE and LOVE never had a sting, is living in LA LA land… I want our kids to know, when it gets heated, those who grow and last are those who hang in there to work it out.

I am glad our RED family has been willing to grab the bull by the horns and go for the adventure, because what we gained by being together, far outweighs the bruises along the way.  The memoires we have created, the chats we have had, the laughter we have shared, the things we have seen, the ways we have grown together, the talks about God and life cannot be replaced or recreated. It is not always ROSIE, but when the ROSE blossoms, it is BEAUTIFUL.

What consumes our children?

Have you ever lost a child...for days? Some might say they have lost their children for a lot longer than that, to the digital world. It may not be physical anymore, but it sure is possible for communication to be lost for many days. Some things never change. We all know the feeling of getting swept up with something and have it consume us, so much so that we lose our focus or even what is happening around the world at the time.

I have seen it with all ages with online video gaming. I have seen it when the test match cricket is on in Australia. I saw it recently in Las Vegas in the casinos. When you are inside them just walking around you literally can lose time and get lost in the sheer size of the buildings. I have seen it when a craftsman is creating something with their hands and I could go on. It is not a new thing for someone to be lost for days, consumed and uncontactable. It doesn’t even have to be a bad thing, at times it may even be a necessary thing.

The more important question is “what consumes you”, “when can you be lost, and for how long?”  I was reminded today as I read Luke 2, of when Jesus was a boy and the time he was lost for 3 days. We often focus on the thought of the irresponsibility of the parents, and yet today I wondered, what was Jesus thinking? After the third day in the temple, didn’t he wonder what his mum and dad might think? Where did he sleep at night? Wasn’t anyone else concerned with this young boy in the temple with no supervision? I thought of my son, telling me about his mates starting a video game one day and then realising before they knew it, it was the next day and they better eat something, as they continued to play. Like my son, Jesus was so consumed with what he was doing, that sleep, eating or what his parents thought may not have even come into his mind. 

When it comes to my kids, these are the things that keep me up at night. Why do they do this and what should my response be? I have been known, once or twice, to talk to my kids about my concerns of the time wasted on playing video games and watching endless You Tube “fails” for hours on end, and they just roll their eyes at me and keep at it. I realised today I have been focusing on the issue of wasting time, lost time, the issue of being consumed, as if it is a new thing for this generation. Actually it is not new at all. In fact I do it too and have always done so. To make it worse, I don’t understand why they don’t get that it is alright for me to get lost in movies for hours on end, but not alright for them to get lost in their phones. I realise now it is the CONTENT, the message, the learning, the shaping of our minds that scares me, not always the time spent in the activity. The real issue is WHAT they are consumed with, what world they get lost into.

When the parents of Jesus found him on the third day and said to Him “Why have you done this to us? We have been so anxiously searching for you.”(Luke 2:48), Jesus response was ... “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house”(Luke 2:49). For three days he was LOST and consumed with sitting among the teachers, listening to their and asking questions. What parent wouldn’t love to see their children get LOST, CONSUMED with being with God?  It is certainly my prayer and desire to see that for my children and everyone. This is a pattern we see right through Jesus’s life, needing to leave the crowds and be with His Father. That chapter finishes with a statement that challenges me as a parent every time I read it. “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. (Luke 2:52)”. If that doesn’t sum up what we are called to model and encourage in our children as parents then I don’t know what could say it better. As a Pastor, I feel we have lost FOCUS of what we are modelling for the next generation about what is means to BE IN MY FATHER’S HOUSE. Mostly the biggest challenge for me today is the little word HAD. “Didn’t you know I HAD to be in my Father’s house?”  What do we think we HAVE to do today, that is more important than HAVING to be with our FATHER?

In the “lucky” country we live in, where there is not a minute that you can’t be consumed by something, what CONSUMES you? What do you HAVE to do? What are you modelling for those around you? When I ask my children around the dinner table tonight – what did you do today? How I would long to hear them say “Didn’t you know I HAD to be in my Father’s house!”

The "Journey" IS the Destination

“The Lord said to him “This is the Land of which I swore to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob….I have let you see it with your eyes, but you shall not cross over there. Then Moses, the servant of the Lord, died there in the Land of Moab at the Lord’s command.”  Deuteronomy 34:4-5

Dead sea looking over to Jordan today.

I ALWAYS felt sad when I read about Moses not entering into the Promised Land. To let him see, but not to cross felt cruel. I thought his punishment for striking the rock was a little harsh in the light of what the Israelites did over and over again (Num 20:12). It is just not fair. In the light of what Moses did, I am guilty of so much more. I fear if that’s what happens if you strike a rock instead of speak to it. I could relate to it more as Moses just giving the people a little drama to make the point as they seemed so easily discouraged and ready to blame God for everything. I understand why he would do that! Maybe Ministry has been a constant struggle as the dramatic in me has clearly stepped into spaces that probably cross that line a million times over.

I was encouraged recently when I read Ruth Barton’s book, “Strengthening the soul of your leadership,” as she eloquently penned my exact thoughts and the processing that I have felt numerous times this year.

“It’s possible that this could happen to me. That I, too, could work hard and serve long – straining toward the goal or dream – and that God might someday say to me, “you can look, but you can’t go in. You can long for it, but someone else will take it across the finish line. You might be the one who saw it, but someone else will take it the rest of the way. For anyone who has dreamed dreams and visions, this possibility is almost too much to bear.”  (pg 213)

This year God has taken me on a journey, of letting go, of giving over my dreams for His dreams, of stepping into the wilderness again and trusting Him, of learning to pray the “prayer of the serene disciple” and of accepting that I may not be taking something to the finishing line, but to learn to be happy to cheer from the sidelines and support those who continue the dreams.  For Moses, this had moved way beyond “punishment” or what he did or did not do. This was about acknowledging HIS story, and that we even get to play a part is simply a privilege. 

As I read through the story of Moses again, I actually felt a peace and a sense that Moses wasn’t standing on that mountain with suddenness or a sense that he was “just a very naughty boy” (in the words of “Life of Brian”). I felt God show me through His eyes that the destination was not actually as important as the journey, and what we learn along the way. That in fact for Moses, the TRUE Promised Land was actually being with God……it was not a PLACE or country that made this so.    

“Clearly something happened to Moses – he was so changed by the journey that he was completely at Peace with himself and God. Nothing of this world had any hold on him at all. ”. (R. Haley Barton, “Strengthening the soul of your leadership” pg 215)

I have known for a long time that it is more about the journey than the destination. I had just never considered NOT ever getting to the destination while here on earth that I would need to give that over and cheer others along. That maybe God has called me to watch from the sidelines was something I was not prepared for till now. It is one thing to come to the end of your life and know you have played your part, it is quite another to feel like you want to do so much more and God is saying “No, this is not what I have called you to. I want you to pass the baton and be the stagehand, a valued role, but very different to being on stage.” 

While I am mixing my metaphors here… Leadership sure does have its twists and turns.

Lord help us to make sure YOU are always the LEADER and we are simply to say YES to YOU in the deepest way, wherever that takes us on the journey.  

As Paul says in Philippians, “For to me, to live is Christ to die is gain”   (vs 1:21, NIV)

Help me to LIVE for you, daily.