Does Disney Help or Hinder ?

The world of Disney captivates our hearts and our imagination; this is so for all ages. You can never be too old for a classic Disney movie, the escape and adventure, the princesses and princes, the heroes and the conquering of evil.  The story begins with “once upon a time” and ends with “they lived happily ever after.” Its the same story over and over again, just different characters, different tragedies and different adventures, yet we flock to see the latest one that comes to the movies.

As parents, we call our girls princesses. Our boys want to be heroes. When my children were young, Sam (my son) always wanted to be able to fly like Peter Pan (he still does, I think) and Georgia was desperately in love with the movie, “The little mermaid.” I remember lining up for 1 hour at Disneyland for her to get the little mermaid’s autograph and for to her sit beside the “real” Ariel and get a picture. It took all of me not to say, “It is not really her, you know, it is just someone dressed up.” I mean, we could have had 4 fun rides in the time we stood in a line to go into the cave where a lady sitting on a rock in a costume was sitting, for us to take a picture and for her to scribble “Ariel “ on a piece of paper. 

But, as parents we don’t burst their bubbles; we play along with it and fulfil their small desires. And meanwhile Disney is making a fortune out of it. How cynical of me. Actually, you don’t have to “Google” too far to see that there have been a lot of very cynical things written about Disney over the years and possibly I stand to be criticized by even writing this blog.  I have to admit; deep down I am a hopeless dreamer and a romantic at the core.  However, the past 10 years it feels like through merchandising and consumerism these things have blown out of all proportion.  I have been feeling that this  “Princess” obsession, in particular is actually becoming a problem for our young girls.   At 4 years old I understand the obsession, but at 12, 14, 20 years....maybe this is a problem.

How do we nurture our girls to grow up knowing they are created in God’s image? How do we empower our boys to “fly” the way God created them to?  Does Disney help or hinder?  As someone who loves movies, I have struggled with this, as I am the first one who loves to escape into a fairytale world any time I can.  But hidden within the fantasy and escapism there is a true story, the neverending story, God’s story.  Someone much wiser than me wrote these words, which opened my eyes to the deeper story.

“The protagonists in so many fairytales are already nobles, royal, daughter and sons of the King or even the Gods. But their identity is hidden from them, and the storyline pivots around this discovery. They have to grow up to fathom their own identity. That fathoming is the very purpose of the journey.”       (R.Rohr, pg 97-98, Falling Upward)

Maybe Disney has more to teach us than we think, if we have eyes to see, ears to hear and hearts that are open.  Maybe, the deeper story can only be seen through the eyes of a child. Matthew 18:3 Jesus says, “unless you change and become like a child, you will not enter the Kingdom of God.”

God’s story does begin with “once upon a time” and ends “happily ever after.” There are different characters and different challenges, but it’s the same story over and over again.  Like so many of the Disney stories, we are all on the Journey to find our identity as the sons and daughters of the King. As a parent it is all I Iong for, for my children. As a mentor of young ladies, and a minister, I see young people and adults of all ages searching in all the wrong places for identity, running from all the King has for them and looking for happiness in a destination, or achievement, or job, or status, or in another person.

Like Ariel (The little mermaid), the princess is really the classic prodigal son story. Merida (Brave) is already a princess who fights her heritage to find herself and finds that she had all she needed all the time. Rapunzel (Tangled) is  a princess lost and stolen, who always knew there was something better out there. Her Identity was hidden from her, but as she begins her journey, she learns that she was the princess all along. Snow White (Snow White), was always beloved, but evil and jealousy took over.  Snow White chooses to make the best of whatever comes to her, and see the best in everyone, and through love she is eventually reinstated back to become the princess she always was.

Aladdin (Aladdin), felt like he was nothing and pretended to be something he was not, until he found purpose and acceptance and was accepted into the Kingdom by the King. And we could go on….

My kids say I make a life lesson out of everything, so I don’t want to spoil the movies by sitting down and dissecting each movie for a life lesson. But there must be a way to help the deeper truths to come alive without spoiling the fantasy and fun of Disney.  Maybe that’s the secret of Matthew 18:3, that children see so much more than we expect and that the openness and desire in them to want to fly and want to be a princess is something we lose as we grow up.  Maybe, our role is to go on the journey with them, model active listening and never miss an opportunity to simply shape and massage with language, the depth of what they already know. That they already nobles, royal, daughter and sons of the King. They have to grow up to fathom their own identity. That fathoming is the very purpose of the journey.........

The legacy we leave for our grandchildren

I was at a funeral just recently of a man who walked with God his whole life. He was what I would call a SAGE of the faith, and there are not as many of them in Christendom as there should be.  In fact I often called him “Gandalf” as he was tall and had white hair with a long white beard and was very wise. He was known in our community as GRANDPA, as a large part of our ministry is to hurting, dysfunctional families through a ministry called Southern Cross Kids Camp (SCKC) and Southern Cross Club (SCC).  So all the children came to call him Grandpa. I have only known him for about 12 years and so when you go to someone’s funeral the rest of the story gets filled in. I learned that what he gave to us all and the families in our community was how he lived his whole life. He had many paternal grandchildren ages ranging from 15-25 years old, and each of them wanted to speak at their Grandfather’s funeral. Through tears they told stories of a man that was always intentional about the time he gave them. He took them all on challenging and stretching adventures, and always had a story to tell that was grounded in His faith and walk with God. His adult children shared similar stories and were incredibly thankful for the legacy that their father had left them with.  They shared how this was not something that had been modeled by the previous generation and that their mother and father were creating something new in the family. As one of the sons finished, he said this week he had been asking himself “what do I do now?” He came to the answer,  “to do what Dad did!”  What a legacy to leave.

As we listened to the love and deep faith of this man, in the way he loved his wife, children and grandchildren, it was very moving. They spoke of the special role he played at Southern Cross Kids Camps and Southern Cross Club and how it meant so much to him to give to these children as well. Little did the family know that two of the children who had been at those camps, who are now youth, independently made their way to the funeral to be there to honor his life and say goodbye.  The two walked up to Grandma (the man’s wife) and hugged her after the funeral and she was so touched that they had come. The boy said to her “I missed school for this, but the teachers and my parents understood that this was an important person in my life, so they let me come.” 

Proverbs 13:22 say, “A good life gets passed onto the grandchildren” (MSG).  Everything about us, says something about us. Nothing is wasted and time is short. A funeral has a way of reminding us that life is not to be wasted and to ask the question, ‘what will really matter when all is said and done?’  It will be the time, the adventures, the memories, the love, the way we lived our life that will be remembered and passed on.  The things we stood for. The tears at this funeral were largely for the loss of not having him around anymore, not because of what he didn’t do, or of what he didn’t say, or of how he didn’t live or who he didn’t love. Not only was there the peace of knowing that he is in a better place, but a joy that we even knew him at all.

The number of people who said to me after the funeral, “If my grandchildren speak like that about me at my funeral I will be very happy”, was amazing.  Christ was honored that day, Christ was honored in his life and he left a legacy that will last and bring hope to the next generation. I can only imagine Jesus saying to him in heaven “Welcome, well done good and faithful servant”.

What legacy are you building today? What will be passed onto the next generation because you have lived?

The “soul” of a renovation

We are currently doing some renovations on our house. As I was sharing with a dear friend about some personal challenges I am having, she responded with “with all that going on, the renovations on the house must be adding to your burdens". I responded back "Oh no, not at all, actually they are exciting, I love seeing the change and progress, it is exciting." I love seeing what they have done each day, we have no roof at the moment on the garage and a great big hole in our front yard, mess everywhere. I like it.

She was surprised and said that would be the final straw for her. It made me think. I really do love seeing new things and change, I especially love being the one who brings new things and change to whatever system I am involved in. In fact, when things are the same for a long time and even when there is an element of necessary maintenance, I lose interest.    But then God steps in with a big Reality check for me.

If I like change so much, why is it that when it comes to changing and improving me personally (Internal renovations of the soul type stuff), that I suddenly don't like change and new things. I remember someone saying, "We all love a drama, until it happens to us.” So true. So while I really want to go into a “pity party dance” to God about why things have to change, why this process has to be so painful, I feel like I am in one big visual teaching - as the renovations are happening all around me.  I feel fine when the perfectly good functioning things are ripped down in my house to build something bigger and better, but I don't want God to rip down anything in me, even if it means something will be built in its place that will be better. What happen to, “…unless the Lord builds this house?"  Oh yeah, I can sing about it, but live it. Yuk!  So, challenge number one; renovations of the soul can be painful, but I need to trust the builder at this point of the process. So, I am living daily with this at the moment.

While the pain hits as God is stripping me back to the foundations, it prompts me to ask, “God, why do I this need change? I really love what I do? It is not like I am totally broken. I may have a few cracks, but no one sees them and you still love me.” He reminds me of the reason we started the house renovation in the first place. Sure, the house was fine. We could have left it, and no one but us saw the cracks in the retaining wall. Everything was still functioning.  We could have tried to sell the house and let it be someone else's problem. But as we thought about it, this little problem allowed us to do some new things to the house which would give us a more usable and functional space, so we decided it was worth the cost. Challenge number two; do I really want to be all that God wants me to be? I know the refining process is painful, but I don't want to live with cracks that might become someone else’s problem. "If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it." (R. Rohr). I need to trust the builder at this point of the process. So, I am living daily with this at the moment.

So today, in walk the builders, who start ripping off the western red cedar in our hall. I am in a bit of shock. I didn’t realise that it meant losing that part of the house. I get it that we are building something new. But why are they pulling down something so beautiful? Can't this be saved? Do we have to lose something that I know won't be replaced? I leave the house knowing that I will come home at the end of the day and it will all be gone. I lament the loss, but am quickly brought back to myself and the fact that the sadness I feel is really about me. Has it ever happened to you, that unexpected shock you weren’t quite ready for? You are in the process and then something unexpected “pops” up and takes you by surprise.  So much for me sprouting to my friend that I like change, I find it exciting.  I find myself lamenting lost dreams, things that may never be again, even those things that only in my dreams were real and it is time to give them up. Challenge number three; part of rebuilding means that sometimes we need to learn to "let it go" (I can feel another song coming on). I need to trust the builder at this point of the process. So, I am living daily with this at the moment.

I can't see now, what this renovation will look like when it is finished and clearly the idea in my head may be very different from the final product. I need to trust the builder at this point of the process. So, I am living daily with this at the moment. Today, I land in a conference where the speaker reminds me of David when he was writing Psalm 63. At the time David is writing this Psalm, his son and best friend are trying to kill him. He has been betrayed. Everything has been stripped from him. In one day he has gone from being king to someone on the run. In the midst of this David says...

"God––you're my God! I can't get enough of you!
I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God, travelling across dry and weary deserts.
So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
My lips brim praises like fountains.
I bless you every time I take a breath; my arms wave like banners of praise to you."   (Psalms 63:1-4)

 In the midst of massive change and the stripping down of his life David says … “Earnestly I seek you, I thirst for you … I  praise you”.

If it was me I would probably be saying, "Where are you God? Why has this happened? Please, God, I long for my kingdom back, for things to be like yesterday. I don't want to be homeless and all alone. I thought things were going well. I thought your plan for me was to be king. How could I have got it so wrong? Where have I failed you so much that you would allow this to happen to me?"  Oops ... I now know why I need such a major “soul” renovation right now.

When you have been stripped of everything can you say your soul longs for God?

I need to trust the builder at this point of the process. So, I am living daily with this at the moment. How I long to say to God, in the midst of the renovation, when you can't see ahead, but just feel the void I want to be like David and say " I seek you, I thirst for you, I praise you, because unless the Lord builds this house, I don't want any part of it. How is your “Soul” today? Does it need renovating?